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Parenting

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Original poster

At what age did you leave your baby

54 replies

quietnightmare · 19/04/2022 11:08

What age was your baby when you first left them with your partner or family or friends. How long for? Was it just to pop to the shop or for a meal with your friends. Did it make a difference if you were breastfeeding or not? When did having a night away without both parents an option for you?

Any advice welcome please

OP posts:

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Chely · 19/04/2022 11:30

Our youngest I had to leave at 2 weeks, brief visit to GP because my c-section wound was infected. Same with our twins due to infection in my wound. Other than that I take them everywhere with me until they are several months old, overnight earliest was 11.5mth with 1st but the younger it has got later and later. I don't feel ready to leave baby (8mth) overnight yet. Ours were all fully formula fed by 6 weeks so that wasn't an issue for care, it's more separation anxiety for me. I went back to work when our eldest was almost 7mth, the rest I've been a sahm.

mrziggycoco · 19/04/2022 11:35

I left my baby for the first time at 18 months. Even that was too soon, apparently she cried and cried while she stayed with my dad, who she knew well.

Upon becoming a parent I realised very quickly that the first year is so important. The baby doesn't want to be away from you ,and I didn't want to be away from her.

I co-slept and I would not change that year for anything.

She's now 6 and is very comfortable being left and going away with others as she has a secure attachment.

I breastfed so it wouldn't have been possible to leave too often. It was such a mistake to leave her overnight as I suffered a blocked duct which was absolutely horrific to get rid of.

AHungryCaterpillar · 19/04/2022 11:37

Not till she was about 3 But I have no partner and a single parent so had no one to leave her with ,
When she was 3?it was an emergency as needed to go to hospital.

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JennieLee · 19/04/2022 11:40

I went briefly to the shops when my daughter was just under 2 weeks old. The sky didn't fall in. It was okay. It was good to know that even though I was breastfeeding other people could hold the fort.

crackingreward · 19/04/2022 11:40

With their dad, straight away. I was happy to pop to the shops or whatever. I was back at work when one of them was 6 weeks - just one day a week but it was a 12 hour day. Overnights the youngest I have left is 10 months. In fact now I come to think of it I have only ever left them with their dad.

IcedOatLatte · 19/04/2022 11:41

It was a long time ago so I can't give you an exact time but maybe a week to go the shop. I breastfed so wasn't out for hours, long enough for a local coffee with a friend.

SickAndTiredAgain · 19/04/2022 11:41

DH took DD to his parents’ house for a few hours when she was a few months old. He took some expressed milk, and I slept the whole time. Was lovely!

crackingreward · 19/04/2022 11:41

Sorry; I didn't breastfeed so that made a huge difference as DH was always able to feed. The first time we left them and went away together for a couple of nights our eldest was 20

Lazypuppy · 19/04/2022 11:48

I was breastfeeding.

Left with my DH when she was maybe 2 weeks old for a few hours as went to get my hair done. Then pretty much every day when he got home from work i would pass DD to him so i could have an hour or so to myself. Used to leave her with my mum twice a week for an hour while i went to a gym class from 6 weeks, and left her overnight first time at 8 weeks when me and DHwe had a a friends birthday party.

We've always been happy to leave DD with friends and family from the start, as i wanted DD to be happy and comforted by other people, not just me.

But not every parent is the same and you need to do what you are comfortable with

RockAndRollerskate · 19/04/2022 11:48

First was in lockdown so didn’t leave him until 4m.

Second one I leave for 10-15 mins with his dad while I do nursery run sube he was about 6 weeks. He’s BF.

brookstar · 19/04/2022 11:54

3 weeks with mil while I went to get my hair done.
Regularly from 2/3 weeks with DH

Overnight at MILs at 10 weeks

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 19/04/2022 12:01

Straight away with my husband, 6 weeks old with my parents whilst we went for dinner; and I breastfed but he drank expressed milk from a bottle from day 1 as well.

Allegra82 · 19/04/2022 12:02

About 5 hours after we got home from hospital to go on a half an hour walk by myself. I’d spent 4 nights in hospital and was desperate for some fresh air

Bornsloppy · 19/04/2022 12:33

DH took them out for walks at about a week old each.

DC1 was left with PIL at about 3 months for the afternoon and I hated every second of it. DC2 was left with PIL for a few hours at about 6 weeks and I think I forgot I had a baby 😆

Overnights from 10mo and 6mo.

Pompom2367 · 19/04/2022 12:38

Two weeks old to go out for dinner she was with my parents they regularly take her for the day once every other week she is 4 months now and stayed overnight with them a month ago

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 19/04/2022 12:39

Partner (dh) - can't remember it would have been within days I imagine.

My folks - at 2 weeks me and dh went for dinner and we left dc1 with them for 2 hours

Dh mum - at about 6 months old for a couple of hours

Friends - no need to leave dc1 with friends as we had both sets of parents on hand. Dc2 (and 1) stayed with a friend while we all went to a funeral when he was about 3mo as both sides if the family went.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 19/04/2022 12:41

My mother or DH took DD1 for walks from a couple of weeks old. (Between feeds .. one way to get her to sleep!)

DD2... at 3 days old her toddler aged sibling came down with D&V so I had to leave her to drive into town to pick up her prescription (and picked up a few groceries and a little outfit for her as we didn't know girl or boy). I was the only driver on the house at the time, so it had to be me. (Dh away with Army, my mum can't drive)
I was gone for 90 minutes and she slept the whole time, as did her big sister.

Overnight... DD1 was 18 months, DD2 was 2yo. I was breastfed DD1 for 17 months, DD2 for 2.5 years. They went to grandparents.

ShesThunderstorms · 19/04/2022 12:44

When he was about 4 days old his dad took him for a walk around the park near our house to let me have a sleep. Must've been gone about 40 mins and I spent the entire time not sleeping, just looking at photos of him and wondering how they were getting on on their walk!
When he was about 5/6 weeks my grandma had him for 2 hours whilst I was at the hairdressers which is the next street to her house. He slept the entire time. He was only breastfed and it seemed to be fine.

daylights12345 · 19/04/2022 12:51

Eldest at around 7 months for an hour or so as I had to pop into work for a meeting

Youngest at around 10 months to take eldest to the playground on his own

Both just with my partner

Left eldest with my sister for a few hours when youngest was born

Other than that still haven't left either one (now 4 and 2, both EBF) with anyone else other than at nursery! Certainly not overnight

Why are you asking- what are your own thoughts/worries OP?

fossilsmorefossils · 19/04/2022 12:54

I think that DH took dd for a walk when she was a few weeks old. When she was 13/14 months I left her with MIL for the first time for 30 minutes. We both cried for the whole 30 minutes but she loves going there now and they're developing a nice bond, which is ehat I wanted.

smooshraspberry · 19/04/2022 12:56

With my husband - a few days. With family, a few weeks perhaps?

lilahbelle · 19/04/2022 13:00

12 weeks for an overnight, but I left him with my sister who's a childrens nurse so I wasn't worried.

Flittingaboutagain · 19/04/2022 13:06

I have left my breastfed baby for four hours twice so far (with grandparents) at 9 months old and for two half days KIT at work with her dad. I had loads of issues establishing feeding so didn't want to introduce a bottle, so opted not to leave her for more than two hours (longest she'd go without milk) until she was 6 months old.

I have the opportunity to go away overnight at the end of this month and I just don't want to do that to her. She'd be with her Dad but absolutely hates having a bottle and will be so upset. So I'm going to wait until she night weans herself when she's older before I leave her.

I think if I hadn't persevered and managed to breastfed from 10 weeks then I suppose she'd be used to being a bottle fed baby so I would probably feel comfortable leaving her with her Dad now. For me breastfeeding is just so much more than how they get the milk though, I'm her comfort, her safe place etc in a way no one else is.

Celendine · 19/04/2022 13:26

After a few days I went out by myself as soon as my wobbly legs would hold me up for a walk in the fresh air around the block. Baby was fine with daddy. Also went shopping by myself about a week after , easier and quicker than taking baby.

CorpusCallosum · 19/04/2022 13:50

DD was a 6 weeks before I left her with DH to go to the postbox (literally 5mins and I cried). Left her more regularly after that or she went out with DH. Full days from 11months. Overnight with mum from 3 years.

DS about 3 days with DH and will be leaving him with my mum for a few hours at 5 weeks.

Both breastfed exclusively but introduced bottle feeding from birth (with expressed BM or the odd bit of formula) for exactly this flexibility + getting me more sleep as and when needed.

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