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Parenting

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Original poster

At what age did you leave your baby

54 replies

quietnightmare · 19/04/2022 11:08

What age was your baby when you first left them with your partner or family or friends. How long for? Was it just to pop to the shop or for a meal with your friends. Did it make a difference if you were breastfeeding or not? When did having a night away without both parents an option for you?

Any advice welcome please

OP posts:

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Traumdeuter · 19/04/2022 13:52

With their dad - about 4 weeks
With my parents - about six weeks
With their dad alone overnight - about six months
With my parents alone overnight - about a year

Abouttimemum · 19/04/2022 14:09

I mean, I left DS with my DH from day 1, he’s his equally responsible parent. I formula fed though which of course makes a difference.

But otherwise, he was a couple of months old when we left him with my parents, they would just take him out for a walk so I could sleep, for a couple of hours maybe.

He first stayed out overnight when he was almost 1 but my parents had babysat at our house a few evenings before that, maybe once a month from 4/5 months old.

Then we had lockdowns etc so he’s probably only stayed out a few times in total. My parents babysit once a month so Dh and I can go out together. I quite honestly don’t feel the need for him to stay out really but everyone is different. I have friends whose children stay out once or twice a week.

It’s totally up to you and how you feel.

luxxlisbon · 19/04/2022 14:10

What age was your baby when you first left them with your partner or family or friends.

Partner? So baby’s father? Immediately. It’s his child too and not my sole responsibility so he did periods of sole parenting from day one, as did I.
She was also with my mum for an hour or two at a time from a few weeks.
Out for dinner out or to get my hair done it was probably from about 3/4 months.
I breastfed until 7 months but she would take a bottle.

Although that’s sort of irrelevant and you need to do what suits you and your family.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

justme2022 · 19/04/2022 14:11

About 2 weeks left her with her dad to go out for lunch with friends.
7 weeks we left her with MIL for the afternoon so we could go out.
Overnight with my mum at 5 months.
Left her with her dad for a week at 7 months. She's 13 months now and one week a month I'm away with work so she stays home with him pretty regularly.

justme2022 · 19/04/2022 14:12

Although from the day we brought her home her dad had her while I had an afternoon nap. He's her dad, he's just as capable as I am of changing a nappy and feeding her.

eurochick · 19/04/2022 14:14

Mine was immediately left in hospital as I was discharged and she was in nicu.

I voluntarily left her with her dad to go to an all day job interview when she was 7 or 8 weeks.

I left her overnight with her dad when I started my new job when she was six months.

She didn't stay overnight without either parent until she started to have sleepovers at 7 years.

LimeSegment · 19/04/2022 14:15

With their dad - straight away. And I didn't feel weird about it at all and pine over them, just felt like my normal self really.

Overnight without me or their dad - will never happen as no one willing. Fair enough but secretly I imagine it would be nice every now and again.

SemperIdem · 19/04/2022 14:17

About 12 weeks was the first time I left my baby with anyone who wasn’t her dad (which I didn’t really count). It was too soon for me and I didn’t enjoy it, I felt pressured by the relative in question. If I ever have another allowing myself to be pressured by others is something I won’t be doing.

The age itself doesn’t really matter, so long as you feel comfortable. And that’s nothing to do with whether you trust the person you’re leaving, though they can make you feel it is.

caringcarer · 19/04/2022 14:40

I would leave my dd (PFB) with my Mum if I had just breastfed her and would pop out to shop for an hour. Over time longer. By time dd was a year old I would leave her with my Mum for a morning or an afternoon. By 2 years a sleepover.

pinkprettyroses · 19/04/2022 15:00

2 hours when he was 3 months to go for a birthday meal. (Breastfed and refused bottle)

Madmaxxy · 19/04/2022 15:03

I was BF so didn't leave her for more than a ten minute pop to the shops until about 12 weeks. Then left with her dad for an hour or so while I went to the gym a few times a week. First time we both left her was to go to a wedding when she was 15 weeks and that's the only time I've been apart from her for more than a few hours. She's almost 10months now

YessicaHaircut · 19/04/2022 15:10

I have one DS who is 21 months. I first left him with just my DH at around 3 weeks old I think; I went out for a walk in my own and remember feeling like I had forgotten something all the way, but it was also very tranquil!
I first left him with my mum at 11 months when I went back to work. She now has him one morning a week while we are both working (both part time and have one day overlap).
We left him with my dad to have an evening out together when he was about 18 months.
He has never been away from us overnight yet.

pedropony76 · 19/04/2022 15:10

First couple of times I left DD wasn’t by choice as I had to go back into hospital to have operations and be monitored.

I first left her by choice when she was 8 weeks old and I left her with her dad. I went to get my hair and toes done and it was great! She’s 11 months now and I leave her with her dad to go out to the cinema with friends, go out for a meal etc. I’m also happy to leave her with my mum and younger sister.

I’m having my DS tomorrow and I’m already thinking at what point can I leave them with their dad to run off and have time for myself😂

pedropony76 · 19/04/2022 15:12

Oh sorry forgot to say we first left DD overnight (by choice) when she was 12 weeks old. We went to a hotel for two nights to have a break. I also left her when she was 7 months and had one night away from her whilst she stayed with her dad (I went to my mums). Since then she hasn’t stayed anywhere overnight

pedropony76 · 19/04/2022 15:13

Oh God sorry last thing😂 I wasn’t breastfeeding! I was expressing up to about 12 weeks but that was it

Sunnytwobridges · 19/04/2022 15:13

Overnight, Never. But not by choice, I just never had the opportunity to leave her.

But she was going to a sitter starting at age 4 months.

RandomQuest · 19/04/2022 15:15

With DH I don’t remember exactly but it would have been at week or so old, for an hour or so. I went on a weekend hen do when DC1 was 10 weeks, DH and I went overnight to the wedding 2 weeks later and my mum babysat. DC2 was born in lockdown so he was a bit older when I got to have a night out or we got to go away! Both took a bottle which made logistics easier.

Phos · 19/04/2022 15:15

With my partner, I don’t know, in the first couple of weeks to go to the shop I guess. He’s her dad.

With anyone else, I left her with my mum when she was about 2 1/2 months, once for a couple of hours in the afternoon to get a haircut and once for 4 hours in the evening to go for a meal, my mum put her to bed for us. She first stayed over at my mums when she was 7 months. I’ve never left her with anyone else though. DH left her with his parents for an hour once when I had an issue with my car key and needed him to bring me the spare! I wouldn’t usually trust them with her though and they were under strict instructions not to take her out (this is due to previous incidences of them obviously not watching her)

I didn’t breastfeed

PromotedPartner · 19/04/2022 15:25

3 weeks

I went to a wedding reception and danced until my rock-solid boobs started leaking then legged it home.

Qwill · 19/04/2022 15:28

Straight away, with their dad. I also breastfed and was fine.

A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 · 19/04/2022 15:37

Like a PP I don't count leaving him with his father as he's an equal parent - straight away really. I was also in hospital for a few days when he was a couple of weeks old and baby couldn't join me there for about eight hours til I had a room. I am breastfeeding but it's never been a problem to pump. I've left him occasionally at a few weeks old with grandparents, for an hour here or there for hospital or dentists as safer than taking him

BeeDavis · 19/04/2022 15:42

I left my baby with his dad when he was days old. Why wouldn’t I? 🥶 Went to get my nails done. He was 3 weeks old when we both left him with my parents for a few hours whilst we went out for a meal. He was 12 weeks old when we went away overnight and he was with my parents. He’s slept out 3 times and he’s 7 months old. He’s often with my parents/MIL and has also been with a family friend while we attended a funeral. He’s really social with other people and I’m glad I left him at a young age. I see people say they haven’t left their children ever and then wonder why they’re clingy and unsocial 🤷🏻‍♀️

StillUp · 19/04/2022 15:58

DD1 - breastfed until almost 2. DH or my DM took her for a walk so I could sleep from her being a few weeks old. I left her with DH for a hair appointment at around 6 weeks, and was always happy to pop out to the shop or whatever leaving her with DH, grandparents, or my sister from around the same age. I went on a day-time hen party a few hours away when she was 16 weeks old, and she was fine with expressed milk, although it was a bit stressful for me and I wasn’t in a hurry to do it again. She was over 6 months before DH and I left her with relatives while we had a late meal out, and we didn’t leave her overnight until she was over two. Mainly as she was a crap sleeper and we couldn’t inflict her on anyone . She went to nursery from 9 months.

DD2 is nearly 4 months and so far I’ve done pretty much the same, even down to the hen party (less stressful this time). I’ve regularly left her with DM while I’ve taken DD1 to dancing or whatever. She takes expressed milk no problem, and although we co-sleep normally we coped with a slightly more disrupted night with her in her Moses basket after the hen party as I’d had a couple of drinks.

I don’t think there’s a right answer. I have friends with (bottle-fed) babies who had overnight stays with relatives when they were tiny, and others with school-aged DC who have never stayed out. All seem perfectly happy. It’s what suits you and your baby.

WingingItEveryDay7 · 19/04/2022 16:01

The first time I went out was when my DS was a month old. I was struggling with my mental health, aware I was sinking into depression (long story but things weren't great at the time). I had a football season ticket and it was mid-season so had plenty of games left to go too. Left him with hubby for about 5 hours and it was just what I needed to regain a bit of the old me back. Also helped hubby to bond a bit more and figure out things on his own (rather than keep coming to me for all the answers). After that I was much happier and felt OK to leave him with other family. First overnight away from him was when he was 13, almost 14 months old. My mum stayed over and we went to a lovely hotel for my birthday! Felt strange but was the best night sleep we'd had in a long time 😂😂

lavenderfine · 19/04/2022 16:27

DS was about 8-10 weeks and I left him with my mum.
DD was 3 days old and I had to leave her to go into hospital with DS because he had a severe infection in his eye 😭

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