White passing children

[Nc4post99]

My children are mixed race, south Asian and white. Father asian (Muslim) and myself white European. Our children are very very fair, think mac nc 10. They visibly look very different to DH side of the family and to anyone passing them on the street they’d be considered white.

I’m not close to DH family as they don’t really think too fondly of me due to my ethnic background. There is a very much a pulling in both directions from both sides of our family to be 100% one way or the other- they are, we all are in fact VvLC with both sides of the family for these reasons.

I’ve tried chatting to DH about it but he’s just a bumble through sort of guy and doesn’t think he’s experienced racism so thinks it’s NBD, but obviously being white passing gives a certain amount of privilege.

I’ve googled and not found any resources to help my children understand the complexities of their identity. Does anyone have an recommendations?

@ThirdElephant lots of white and black Muslims aren't believed especially if they dress in "normal" clothes.

Your children are absolutely going to experience racism.

They will hear 'jokes' about Muslims, comments, etc and will be expected to join in the laughter.

When they're out and about with their father there may be suspicion of a darker skinned man with two paler children. I have an African American friend who is mixed race but has one of her parent's more African features. Her children are much lighter skinned and have their white father's hair type. They have three white grandparents. My friend has been taken for the nanny frequently and has had to field questions from the DCs from an early age as a result.

There's a movie starring Ruth Negga called 'Passing' that you and your DH might like to see. Maybe examine it for themes you could discuss with the DCs.