How did you find the first twelve months of being a parent?

[Whatagrapefruit156]

Curious to find out what everyone’s experience was.

I loved it.

A bit of an emotional shitshow, in the background of a pandemic. Some of the best and worst times of my life. Overwhelmed with love and appreciation for DH and my close family, but equally wanted them all to bugger off and leave me alone. Desperately lonely and constantly pestered. Felt too relaxed and too uptight. Terrified I was letting my baby down by going back to work, but desperate to have a few hours of not being mum. Exhausted and lazy. Was back to my pre-pregnancy weight within a couple of months, but then put on three stone by the 1st birthday.

Basically a mess of contradictions, moderate PND, stress and worry. I’m not having another!

Second Fastest 12 months of my life, the Fastest was DC2.

The time utterly flys by, no sooner are home with a tiny newborn to your sorting a first birthday.

It has highs and lows, but it goes so fast. Try to enjoy every day, easier said than done but time just disappears.

The majority of responses here are making me feel very nervous about my c section in 13 days 😬 I have absolutely loathed every second of being pregnant and was hoping it would get better when the baby is actually here! Although I’ve spent the last nine months feeling like I’ve lost my identity, my sense of enjoyment, my life, my hobbies, my body etc so perhaps it won’t come as so much of a shock? (btw I do want this baby, I just have not coped well with pregnancy at all and will never do it again. We are one and done)

Hated every moment. Tired, miserable, terrible undiagnosed PND. Went back to work at six months for a bit of peace and a rest. Got a full time Nanny which helped enormously. She was and still is a support to me and our family. If I'd known how awful it was going to be I doubt I'd have done it.
Also hated being pregnant. That too was vile.

I got sick and tired of people who enjoyed pregnancy and motherhood telling me how marvellous it was and how much I'd love it. I didn't and it wasn't. It was more than 30 years ago and I still remember those years as some of the most awful in my life. My children are grown up and have left home now and I love them dearly but for fifteen years my life was an absolute misery except when I was at work.

A total rollercoaster and probably the longest year of my life.

First 3 months or so were horrendous, really - just totally down from lack of sleep and colicky baby and genuinely thought I'd signed on for the most impossible job in the world - while still loving my baby completely, and worrying I was doing things wrong etc. He had a short hospital spell too which didn't help.

He wasn't really a 'standard issue' baby - compared to my second who was! - and I was lonely, worried about my body and breastfeeding, and also had high expectations about how fast I could 'get back to normal' (my life in general, not my body).

I found the 1st birthday a real milestone and I think things looked up a lot from around 8/9 months for me.

I remember once when my kids were 4 and 1 and I realised I was actually enjoying life and I felt much better/realised how crap a lot of the early months had been.

I think it was the relentlessness and the physicality of everything you need to do that just made me physically and psychologically exhausted.

Those small game-changers are always ones you don't really expect (things like when you no longer have to change nappies or put their shoes on for them, or don't have to fold up/open out a complicated buggy!) and they are few and far between!

I loved it. I don't think I have hated any part/stage of being a parent. I didn't realise it was so common for people to feel like that

Op don't let people drag you down. The first year is tough, but it goes so fast, babies just keep hitting milestones and they are incredibly cute.

Enjoy your baby, the year will fly, bit like a busy day at work does. Bang and its home time already!

I loved it. The first month or so I struggled with feeding which tainted it a bit and the lack of sleep was a struggle at points but because he was my first I could nap in the day when he was sleeping. I had lovely times sat in coffee shops and friends houses with them and their babies. Loved taking care of my baby and seeing him grow. It was a very peaceful time on the whole.

I have 3 now and it’s wonderful in other ways but it is never peaceful!

Loved it, despite Covid. Had a generally lovely time. Some hard bits and bad days/nights obviously. But it was just fabulous on the whole. It really changed me I think, for the better.

Very very hard. But he was an absolutely terrible sleeper so when I look at friends with good sleepers I can see how different it could have been. Sleep deprivation is torture.

Being a parent to whom? Ds1 it was a breeze, yes I had to wait few months for me to notice I loved him. Before that I saw him as dh son who was very cute and needed lots of cuddling and parenting. Practically, he was the easiest baby I have ever seen. He was so happy and at four months I remember, thinking how does his cry sound like? He was that easy and predictable. He loved other people and hit all his milestones early.

Parenting ds2, it was the complete opposite. He didn't sleep, suffered from bad reflux, born premature and his birth was traumatic for me. Kindle and nursery helped raise ds1 while I was a zombie

Parenting ds3, he was born during the pandemic. He has cmpa but after eliminating cow milk from both our diet, things were OK. Yes, children centers and resurants toilets have been closed (at least the once I went to), so it was hard taking ds3 out without the car acting as a possible nappy changing place.

Good, shit has now
Hit the fan at 2.5!

I loved my babies but I didn't like my life very much for the first twelve months of theirs. Sleep deprivation, issues with breastfeeding, shitty labours and feeling so isolated and alone.

They are 4 and 6 now and they are my little mates, my favourite people in the whole world and so much fun. I was never really into kids but now they are just ace, hilarious little creatures.

The first bit was awful at the time but the memories are fading and being replaced with these lovely times.

Very tough newborn stage (DS would only sleep on me), challenging 4-6 months when he was pretty high needs/screamed all the time unless held, sleep never been brilliant but… despite all this I loved the first year and wouldn’t change a single second of it. I think when you’re on mat leave you can dedicate 100% of yourself to mothering… I find things more challenging now DS is 16 months and I’m back at work .

I found the first 20 really tough

Not great

Hard work. A roller-coaster. Some of the best and worst moments. Exhausting. Grateful. What I needed more than anything was the company of other mothers

Repandemic. First 2 weeks were joyful but so full of anxiety and worry that I didn't love ds enough and 2 bits of mastitis. The n I stopped breastfeeding and it was wonderful. Dh was off for 6 weeks after going back to work for a week after paternity leave (teacher) so we had a wonderful summer working out our new lives together. Then ds and I started going to groups and had something each day that we did (massage, rhyme time, children's centre, swimming, day to do whatever we wanted but always out). Met a really good friend and so always had someone to hang with and we had a little group of under 1s that we would meet with regularly. I loved it, we co slept for naps so I actually did sleep when the baby did.

Ds has been a pretty decent sleeper from early days and I cannot underestimate how much that helped. I also know that things may well have been very different

The first six months were horrific, the rest was great

1st was nocturnal but I was on cloud9 being a new parent.

2nd had the most hideous colic/reflux & literally cried for the first 12months all whilst first was going through terrible 2s & it was lockdown.

Shudder thinking of that 12months!

Awful. But I had a very unsettled baby, it was lockdown and I found maternity leave very isolating. Months 12-24 have been a million times better. I love parenting a toddler and I’m much happier now I’m back at work part time.

I loved all of it!! Every moment. My babies were very easy tho.