Would you stop visiting a friend who had a dirty house?

[octopuseyes]

As the title says really!
Friend is a lovely person - so are the children but the dirt!!!
I can't bear it kitchen, bathroom and car are particularly bad.
I don't want to visit the house anymore

Anyone else had similar experience?

Depends on what you mean by dirty.

How dirty is 'dirty'?

Why does a dirty car matter?

I would. I'd arrange to meet up somewhere else.

Yes I'd stop visiting but I wouldn't stop being their friend.

I would not stop visiting but would not eat or drink in there. X

I have a lovely friend whose house ranges from untidy to shockingly unsanitary depending on how she is feeling
I do visit but I make sure I have been to the toilet before hand so I don't need to use hers and I always take cake or biscuits.
I do drink a cup of tea but try not to dwell on the state of the cup and focus on the boiling water making it OK...

@Yellowleadbetter

No. I had a friend who was a hoarder. The house was indescribably horrific. Full to the rafters and filthy. My friend was just the most loveliest person though Thoroughly enjoyed her company. Tried to avoid going to the house and meet out instead..

What happened - you talk about your friend in the past tense.

It depends whether it was genuinely dirty or just Mumsnet "dirty". It has come to my attention today that a lot of people on this site are genuinely not sane when it comes to hygiene and tidiness.

My early years of living in shared houses mean I am not upset by a bit of squalor, but I would draw the line at fleas or bedbugs.

It depends whether it was genuinely dirty or just Mumsnet "dirty". It has come to my attention today that a lot of people on this site are genuinely not sane when it comes to hygiene and tidiness.

I agree with this comment. Saying a house is "dirty" actually doesn't say much - much like Mumsnet "dirty" being someone who doesn't shower twice a day!

I think I can deal with a certain amount but when I saw one friend using the sweeping brush to sweep all the crap off the kitchen table 🤢that was it for me never had tea there again.

Yip would be a deal breaker for me.

I won't visit my SILs house anymore as it's so gross and filthy.

@TheBigPeach

I think I can deal with a certain amount but when I saw one friend using the sweeping brush to sweep all the crap off the kitchen table 🤢that was it for me never had tea there again.

I have a table / counter sweeper especially meant for this. You sure she wasn’t using one of those?

Unfortunately not, I saw her use it to sweep the floor then afterwards she started on the table!

I have had to. A friend's house is so bad I just don't feel happy letting my toddler play there. It's incredibly messy but also very dirty, I really don't want him sitting on the floor playing. I also actually worry about him hurting himself with all the piles of rubbish around. I feel really sorry for her children but can't say anything. It's sad.

I grew up in the most disgusting house imaginable, my mothers friends would ask openly why the house was so disgusting. My mum would always blame me, saying I was a dirty wreck less child. In fact she was and is still extremely lazy.

Eventually they just stopped coming round and cut all Contact with her as did most of my family. My friends then would laugh at me and tell everyone how disgusting my house was. It has had the worst possible effect on our relationship And I will honestly never forgive her for it.

I'm certainly not a clean freak and I grew up in a fairly dirty house but some houses really turn your stomach. I have 2 friends who both have utterly filthy houses. When I go there I feel sick. I try to avoid it or I just pop in for an hour or something.

I wouldn't go. 🤮

NO!

I didn't- friends were struggling so I went, and I helped. They'd do the same for me.

Depends on what level of dirty we are talking about.
Never makes any effort to clean, I would invite them out or to ours. If it's just a bit of dirt they've not had chance to clean up from the day before, not a big deal.

As for the car, are we talking internal or external dirt?

I had a friend whose place was bad that u wonder u gonna sit... I was just honest and told her" friend if want me to sleep over we gonna have to clean up" and we did... She knew that if I will be visiting, she made the effort..

Beyond a certain level of dirt, yes I would stay away.

Re why does it matter if the car's dirty- we met outside and she collected me in her car. The mucky seats left my clothes dirty also smells awful- sour milk or something.

Re how dirty is dirty- I have 5 children so I understand it's impossible to keep on top of everything and my house isn't pristine at all

This dirt is just filth. Sticky floors, fridge that knocks u back, slimy dishcloth, clutter all over piles of damp mouldy clothes everywhere leather sofa that when you sit on it, it blows stale smelly air up, unspeakable stains all over bathroom and a filthy hand towel on offer- u get the idea!!

I think she just doesn't notice her own dirt. She confided in me that somebody else's house wasn't up to scratch as their new puppy had piddled on the kitchen floor!! 😂😂

Anyway. Thanks for all your thoughts.

Eew that’s gross OP, I couldn’t be friends with someone like that.