4 year old still in nappies at night.

[PaddlingLikeADuck]

I have a son who is 4 years and 7 months old and he is still wearing nappies at night.

We have tried him endless times without one and it’s 50/50 whether he has an accident or not.

We restrict his evening time drinks and make sure he has a good wee before going to bed but it doesn’t make any difference.

The longest time period we have tried him without a nappy for is 5 days but we had to put him back in one because for the last 3 of those 5 days he had an accident.

I’ve had people tell me to just leave him without nappies as his body “needs to learn” not to wee at overnight, but the endless washing and broken nights sleep night after night was taking its toll.

The difficult part is that my son hates using nappies - he cries and tells me he wants to be a big boy and gets so upset when I put one on him. We tried using pull-ups as they are considered to be more grown up but to him they are no different to wearing a nappy and he gets just as upset.

I’m just having a vent really because me and DH don’t know what to do.

He was toilet trained in the daytime really early (far younger than my other son was) so still needing nappies at night at this age has thrown me a little.

Is it within the boundaries of normal??

Completely normal. My year old twins are both still in nappies at night. It’s normal until they are 5. I remember despairing when DD2 was 4 year 11 months and still not dry at night, then two weeks later she was fine! Check out the ERIC website if you are worried.

My 6 year old son has only recently stopped needing me and DH to take him for a 10pm sleep wee at night!

I honestly would not worry at all. I think there needs to be a certain hormone produced to keep them dry at night and it can be age 7 for some children before the body produces it.

We looked at bed alarms but decided to wait it out. He wore pull ups 'bedtime pants' until he turned 6 and then he wore normal pants but we first took him for two wees in the middle of the night (10pm and midnight), then transitioned to one wee and now he is fine with nothing.
I think we all thought we wouldn't get there and it caused so much anxiety for him and us, but I wish I hadnt worried so much about it.

My 4 yr old is still in night nappies and so was her older sibling till he was four years 10 months. For the older one it was overnight that he changed ie one night he weed all night long as normal, the next the nappy was dry. I imagine my four yr old will be the same.

It is entirely normal to need nappies at night at 4 and indeed for much longer.you can't nighttime train you just wait until they are dry reliably.
For my DC who were all out of day time nappies between 2and 3 this took until 5, 10 and 10.
There is no need to do anything special although fro about 8 you can have medicine if that is your preference.

One of mine was still in pull-ups at night when she started school, so I restricted fluids after 6pm, and walked her to the loo when I went to bed. That solved the problem. I did that for a couple of months, then stopped getting her up and she was dry.

Totally normal op!
My ds was a lot older than that, dd a year younger, they all get there at different times.

@GeneLovesJezebel

One of mine was still in pull-ups at night when she started school, so I restricted fluids after 6pm, and walked her to the loo when I went to bed. That solved the problem. I did that for a couple of months, then stopped getting her up and she was dry.

Restricting fluids from 6pm isn't great advice. Particularly on a school day, I'm a teacher and despite my best efforts most children, in my class definitely need to go home and drink lots more in the evening!

My DS is 8 .... still in pull ups. I wouldn't worry.

You said you’ve tried pull-ups but surely you’re not still using regular nappies? At the very least he should be in pull-ups.

Why? What’s the difference?

Op you don't say whether you wee him when you go to bed. If you do, great but if not then as a pp says, walk him to the loo and get him to wee either sitting or standing. That should help and would mean he can.also safely drink at tea time (I also restrict fluid after 6 and mine are 9)!

You will have dozens of parents coming on to say that this is completely normal - please listen. Your poor boy will be getting distressed over something he has no control over.

As PP have said, the production of urine overnight is linked to hormonal production. You cannot do anything to make this happen - you just wait. Restricting fluid, waking him up, letting him lay in a wet bed, none of this will do the slightest good.

My DTs were dry at night around 3,5 but DS2 was still in “sleeping pants” just shy of his 7th birthday. One night it just stopped and he’s never been wet again.

My daughter wasn't dry at night until she was 5. I did try the usual things like limited liquid in the evening and even waking her to wee in the middle of the night but it was just disturbing her sleep and routine so I just kept her in pull ups and stopped restricting liquids etc and didn't mention it again. All of a sudden she was sleeping through the night and was able to get up and use the loo in the morning so about a week later stopped using them altogether. I think pull ups are like more like pants they wear in the day and easier for them to remove if they can make it to the loo if they wake up in time.

My dd is 5.5 and still in pull ups. We are trialling taking her for a wee when we go to bed around 10 but its not helping yet!

My girls are 5 in august and still in pull ups at night time. Half the time they’re dry but the other half they’re not.

I’m sure my son still had them at this age too but because he’s one of the eldest in the year group he was still at preschool at this point so it didn’t seem such a big deal, to me anyway!

@PaddlingLikeADuck

You said you’ve tried pull-ups but surely you’re not still using regular nappies? At the very least he should be in pull-ups.

Why? What’s the difference?

At least with a pull up he can put them on like a pair of pants rather than have his nappy put on like a baby.

I understand it upsets him but you have to let him know it's fine and normal. It's not discussed between friends but there will be lots of other children in the same position.

My DD wasn't dry until she was 7. We used a night time alarm that gets attached to pants and sounds if get wet. It took a week for her to be dry from that point.
No drinking in the evening and taking to the toilet in the night didn't work for us. Sometimes she had already weed in the pull up before I went to bed.

My eldest son was still in night nappies until 7.5, when he suddenly stopped weeing at night.

Younger one stopped at 3.5.

Iirc I checked the advice and if they're still not dry at 8, you might want to have a chat with doctor. But it's not unusual for boys to need night protection until early adolescence - which is why there are night pull ups for sale everywhere in supermarkets for this age range.

The important thing is to manage the issue so it's not upsetting for them.

You definitely can’t train night dryness.
The only issue is that your son doesn’t like nappies.
I’ve seen absorbent pants online that might distress your son less, but no idea how well they work.

My DS wasn't dry at night till 6 maybe even 7. He wasn't the only one of his friends to still be wearing a pull up either. Don't know if it's the same now but you couldn't get treatment till 7 so we went down the pants with sensor route.

DS is now 15 and has an elephant bladder on a day out went 13 hours without a wee. Think they just need to start making that chemical.

My three DC were all dry in the day at 2yo, but night time dryness varied from 2yo to 7yo. It's normal OP.

Completely normal.
The thing that helped us when we were getting close - like it sounds you are because he's dry some nights - was double voiding, so bath, teath, loo, story, loo, sleep.
He will be far from alone.

I have no direct experience as my son was a late potty trainer but then was dry day and night but when he was year 2 he went on a residential and it was spoken about in the parents meeting as apparently a number of kids were still in pull ups at night. They made arrangements where the wet pull-ups could up put in a carrier bag discretely and left for staff to collect but I understand it was a number of children. So based on that I don’t think it’s uncommon at all

My DS was 6 before he was dry at night, some of his peers were not dry until up to 11. It isn’t unusual and was mentioned on Year 7 trip parent information in a vague way. In other words talk to us if you still have a child that isn’t dry or if they have medication for it.

I disagree that you can't train. My son was 5 and still in pull-ups. We'd tried numerous times like you, but with no success and it was starting to upset him. So we bought an Astric bedwetting alarm and he was dry in, I think a month. I'd switch to pull-ups first until he's 5 and then try an alarm. Good luck.