Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

4 year old still in nappies at night.

82 replies

PaddlingLikeADuck · 24/03/2022 05:56

I have a son who is 4 years and 7 months old and he is still wearing nappies at night.

We have tried him endless times without one and it’s 50/50 whether he has an accident or not.

We restrict his evening time drinks and make sure he has a good wee before going to bed but it doesn’t make any difference.

The longest time period we have tried him without a nappy for is 5 days but we had to put him back in one because for the last 3 of those 5 days he had an accident.

I’ve had people tell me to just leave him without nappies as his body “needs to learn” not to wee at overnight, but the endless washing and broken nights sleep night after night was taking its toll.

The difficult part is that my son hates using nappies - he cries and tells me he wants to be a big boy and gets so upset when I put one on him. We tried using pull-ups as they are considered to be more grown up but to him they are no different to wearing a nappy and he gets just as upset.

I’m just having a vent really because me and DH don’t know what to do.

He was toilet trained in the daytime really early (far younger than my other son was) so still needing nappies at night at this age has thrown me a little.

Is it within the boundaries of normal??

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Original poster
PaddlingLikeADuck · 24/03/2022 06:52

At least with a pull up he can put them on like a pair of pants rather than have his nappy put on like a baby.

And I do agree with that, but he is just as upset with pull-ups as he is with nappies. He sees both of them as meaning he is a baby (his words). The only difference is that pull-ups are twice the price.

Thanks everyone for your reassurances.

We don’t wake him up during the night to have a wee although I took him for one last night at about 11pm but only because he was awake anyway (he’d fell out of bed).

I just hate seeing him so upset and feeling pretty helpless as like you’ve said, it’s not something that can be hurried along or helped.

I have explained this to my son but it doesn’t seem to make him feel any better.

OP posts:
intwrferingma · 24/03/2022 06:53

Within normal range. My son was still in them at 6. At that point he qualified for the enuresis clinic and they quickly gave us a strategy for getting rid of them. It was stupidly easy.

doobyscoob · 24/03/2022 06:54

Do you dream wee around 10pm!

We do that. Every night

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

4 year olds Families General parenting Potty training
ivykaty44 · 24/03/2022 06:55

I learnt recently there is a hormone that kicks in at around 5/6 that is connected with bladder making less urine at night

Vasectomyreversalhopeful · 24/03/2022 06:55

We did nothing and DS ditched the night nappies shortly after his 5th birthday.

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 24/03/2022 06:57

It's still completely normal to not be dry overnight for a couple more years. My DD day trained at 2 without a single accident. Was 5 before she came out of night nappies. Her brother came out at 6, no matter what he'd soak the bed overnight before then. Night dryness is due to hormones, very different from toilet training for day.

OnTheBenchOfDoom · 24/03/2022 07:06

It is a hormone thing, at night we produce a hormone called vasopressin which restricts our urine production meaning we only end up with a full bladder in the morning. If the bladder isn't full it doesn't need to empty.

Both myself, my Dad and Ds1 were not dry at night even though we were all dry in the day.

With Ds1 we tried everything recommended on the Eric website for incontinence and in the end medicated him with a synthetic hormone called Desmopressin which proved it was the hormone. However, we were unprepared to medicate him every night so just used these for hotel stays, holidays and school residential trips.

I do understand about the nappies/pull ups but if he needs them he needs them. Ds2 was dry both day and night before 3 years old whilst his older brother wasn't dry at night for years.

There is still a shame and stigma attached to bed wetting so a lot of people don't talk about it but think about how much space on supermarket shelves are given over to pyjama pants. It clearly is an issue for a lot of children.

Indoctro · 24/03/2022 07:15

My nephew is 9 and still in pull ups. The doctors won't do anything now until age 11.

You child is only 4 and it's perfectly normal well past this age.

My son is 6 soon and still very wet at night.

I don't restrict any fluids or ever wake him up to pee as it won't help at all. Only thing that will help us when the body is ready it's self.

TheTeenageYears · 24/03/2022 07:16

DS was 5 and way too heavy to lift so we just waited for nature to take it's course. He wore pull ups rather than nappies and I now don't even remember exactly how old he was but DD who is 2y4m younger was dry at night before he was.

Vickim03 · 24/03/2022 07:21

They get there in their own time. My son was in nappys longer than that. He was finally dry when he was 7.

Please don’t worry. It’s all very normal. It just takes some children longer than others to get there.

MrsPear · 24/03/2022 07:23

When I saw the title I though and?

We had a paediatrician for both our children (not Americans just they were premature) and he said parents end up doing my damage than good trying to force kids to be dry at night. Unlike day it is not training it’s brain development and some kids develop later. I listened to the doctor. I trained the day but did nothing about night. I only removed pull-ups once they were dry for a week. So ds1 day time dry in day time 2.6 first attempt 2 or 3 accidents that’s it but night time 8.6. Ds2 three attempts at day time finally got in his 3rd birthday week but night time within six months of day time.

bumpabroad · 24/03/2022 07:25

Really not uncommon at all!

If it’s upsetting your son though (bless him, he can’t help it!) could you buy a couple of pairs of washable/reusable pull ups? I think you can get some very absorbent ones and then ones that are semi absorbent with the idea being that they do wake up as they start to wee and hopefully make it to the toilet for the rest?

Maybe special bedtime pants would seem less babyish to him than a nappy Smile

MakkaPakkas · 24/03/2022 07:35

We did an intervention under supervision of the nurse on this when my daughter was 8/9. This was the instruction:
Morning wee
Breakfast drink about 200ml
11am wee and drink about 200ml
Lunch wee first then drink about 200ml
3pm wee and drink about 200ml
Teatime wee and drink about 200ml
Bedtime wee no drink

The idea was to train the bladder and get the hormone back to where it should be (as she'd basically got stuck in an unconscious habit of seeing at night)

You could try this although as others have said it's pretty normal at 4.

NeverEndingFireworks · 24/03/2022 07:51

Perfectly normal - one of mine was about 8 before she was dry at night, pull ups were a godsend because she could go to the loo if she woke up.

Benjaminsniddlegrass · 24/03/2022 07:55

Another one chiming in to say perfectly normal, my DD was in nappies at night (well pull ups but same difference) until she was nearly 6 as she just didn't wake in the night for a wee, we explained about the 'magic hormone' and that it would kick in soon & it was nothing to do with her when she'd be upset about how her bestie wasn't wearing them. Then after a while we started getting dry nappies or she woke to go toilet so we stopped & she's not had one accident now in over 6 months. It's not a race, just let your child lead I think.

AHungryCaterpillar · 24/03/2022 08:00

My 4 year old was still in nappies at night up until very recently as she would still wet the bed. I did see a thread on here where people were shocked about a 4 year old still in nappies though so obviously some people do think it’s too late to be in them but kids get dry in their own time.

yikesanotherbooboo · 24/03/2022 08:24

Lifting or taking to the loo when parents go to bed is very outdated advice.it isn't a competition to get them dry at night.It is a waiting game.Even in year 7 there will be more than one child in the class who is still not reliably dry ; completely normal.

ouch44 · 24/03/2022 10:26

Something that really helped us cope with the disturbed nights changing the bed was to have a double layer of bedding. We also discovered these sheets that were waterproof but were also soft. So we'd layer up the bed so we had two layers of sheets then when there was an accident we just removed one layer.

Is there a boys equivalent of something like girls period pants that would hold some wee? My DD has some like boxers for sport. I bet there is something like that for night time. Off to Google!

ouch44 · 24/03/2022 10:34

I knew things would have moved on since DS needed them! These are night time incontinence pants. These would have been amazing for DS. DD has their period pants and they are a great make.



AlpineSue · 24/03/2022 10:41

Our DD was still not dry at night until aged 7, when she suddenly was. Between ages 5 and 7 we took her out of pull ups and lifted her at night for a wee just before we went to bed, and that worked until one night she got up herself for a wee then. We stopped lifting her, she never wet the bed again.

ArtichokeAardvark · 24/03/2022 10:42

Definitely take him to the loo around 10pm (or last thing before you go to bed) and see if that helps.
My son is 4 and has been dry at night for a year but only if taken for a dream pee, any night we've forgotten to do that there's been an accident. He similarly hated putting on pull ups before bed and one night just point blank refused. To our amazement, he was dry the next morning, and has been every morning since other than on the nights where we've not bothered to take him to the loo.

It's so routine now that DS barely wakes, I just gently lift him out of bed and walk him to the loo, he stands to pee, and then gets straight back into bed.

Allthebubbles · 24/03/2022 10:44

My son was like this, day trained at just over two, needed pads at night until 5, then it suddenly clicked. I think it's normal.

ThreeDayWeek · 24/03/2022 12:08

You only have to look at the supermarket shelves and see the age group dry nites or similar are selling to see this is totally normal. My son was not reliably dry at night until age 7

Clarabellawilliamson · 24/03/2022 12:19

The only thing I want to add to all the people dying it's totally normal is the thing about blackcurrant. If your child drinks a lot of blackcurrant squash/ Ribena apparently that can make a difference. It really is something that just comes all of a sudden. Try really hard to be totally fine and relaxed about it around him as it's not nice that he is upset by it.

Swapping to pull-ups gives a chance for him to be more independent/ see it as progress. He can put them on and take them off himself, if he does wake and need a wee he can still do that. It might put him back in control a bit? Try Aldi or Lidl for cheap ones if cost is an issue