4 year old still in nappies at night.

[PaddlingLikeADuck]

I have a son who is 4 years and 7 months old and he is still wearing nappies at night.

We have tried him endless times without one and it’s 50/50 whether he has an accident or not.

We restrict his evening time drinks and make sure he has a good wee before going to bed but it doesn’t make any difference.

The longest time period we have tried him without a nappy for is 5 days but we had to put him back in one because for the last 3 of those 5 days he had an accident.

I’ve had people tell me to just leave him without nappies as his body “needs to learn” not to wee at overnight, but the endless washing and broken nights sleep night after night was taking its toll.

The difficult part is that my son hates using nappies - he cries and tells me he wants to be a big boy and gets so upset when I put one on him. We tried using pull-ups as they are considered to be more grown up but to him they are no different to wearing a nappy and he gets just as upset.

I’m just having a vent really because me and DH don’t know what to do.

He was toilet trained in the daytime really early (far younger than my other son was) so still needing nappies at night at this age has thrown me a little.

Is it within the boundaries of normal??

Once ours were toilet trained during the day we'd always wake them up for a wee when we were going to bed, at about 10.30/11pm. Sometimes they didn't even properly wake, but they'd still have a wee. At the point they weren't weeing any more we just left it and they were fine.

Change your attitude. He's not "still in nappies", he is using pyjama pants because he is not yet dry at night. it is extremely normal. Many of his friends will be wearing pyjama pants, but he doesn't know that. Try not to make a big deal over this.

My child suddenly became dry just weeks before starting school, and that was that.

My dd 4y8m is still in nappies at night. She goes through phases where she dose alright being dry and then she starts wetting herself again. She actually asked for nappies during the day last week, she had a uti and felt better in nappies. Pull ups irritate her skin so it has to be nappies. My older DDs was the same. Eventually they just suddenly don’t need them. We’ve never put pressure on them to toilet train or be dry during the night, we never did the big girl thing as I feel it puts pressure on them. My middle dd use to put knickers over her pull-ups, it was more a being silly thing rather than being a big girl, but you could do that with your DS to see if that helps.

We're having the same situation with our almost 4year old, she gets so upset at having to wear a nappy at night but isn't having many dry nights either. Not sure what the answer is. Some of my friends use a sticker chart for their DC who want to be out of nappies but aren't dry yet. I am hesitant to do the same as she hasn't really had that many dry nights at all and I don't want to draw her attention to it every day looking at the sticker chart. She'll get there in her own time.

Another with a just-dry son here, and he’s 7. Don’t sweat it, wait for the hormone to kick in and put him in pull ups til it happens!

6 year old and still in night nappies. At least 3 more of his class are. Not bothering with any of the lifting him for a wee business. I'm not interested in risking him being awake for an hour at midnight because we woke him up and if the hormone hasn't kicked in it hasn't kicked in.

We explained to him over a year ago about the hormone and what that means and that stopped him being frustrated with it.

Do you get him up in the middle of the night to go to the loo? E.g. between 11pm - 1am - a dream wee so to speak?

I wouldn't worry. My ds was the same and he still needs to be taken to the toilet every night so he doesn't wet the bed and he's 6. My dd was totally different and dry night and day at the same time before 3.

It is normal but if it’s really upsetting your child, I’d try to do something. DD decided at 3.5 that nappies were for babies & flatly refused to wear that or pull ups (which frankly are the same). We bought these which are brilliant & made sure she had plenty of clean PJs to hand each night ..

Amazon Brand - Umi Washable Bed Protector with Tucks - Incontinence Pad - Toilet Training Sleep Mat, Blue - Pack of 2-70x90cm www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07GXQ1RRV/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_5DFCNHTVV8SPYBR63WSE?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

It was very hit & miss for a few weeks to be honest. But she would not entertain a nappy (I’m talking complete meltdowns at the sight of one) so we persevered & remained consistent. It was hard work, it was a lot of washing & faffing BUT I wanted to go with DDs wishes. She was so vehemently anti-nappy 🙈 We put a potty in her room & kept explaining if she woke up needing a wee, she could just go by herself. If we heard her disturb, we’d whip in & get her to have a wee. We read books, we talked about it a lot. Maybe 6-8 weeks later, she was dry & happily taking herself to her potty overnight. On her 4th birthday we said goodbye to the potty & she’s used the bathroom ever since. She goes for 3 wees a night & always has done but maybe that’s a hormone thing like people talk about. She’s not there yet but has learnt to take herself to the toilet as often as she needs!

No helpful advise to give but my little boy is 4 years 7 months old too and he is the same. He never has an accident during the day but still needs a nappy over night. He also is desperate to go without but despite what we’ve tried he just isn’t ready. Our gp said it’s completely normal and that it’s beyond his control and all hormone related. Until a certain hormone kicks in its out of his control so we’re just going with it and trying not to worry.

It is hard when they think it means they are a baby but it really is completely normal and entirely hormonal. If he's close to being able to do it, I would do the 11pm wee when you're on your way to bed.... we did this with DD for a while. Would just pick her up and put her on the toilet, she'd wee, and job done. She barely even woke up.

It only works with good sleepers though - we couldn't do it with DS.

It’s normal. Definitely would use pull ups through - DS who is 4 does get up sometimes after going to bed to go to the toilet and does so on his own, he wouldn’t wet his nappy on purpose it just happens in his sleep. He does the same first thing in the morning as well, especially if he hasn’t actually wet his nappy at night.

Very normal, nighttime dryness is hormone controlled, and I believe it can take longer in boys than girls although I might be wrong on that.

DT's were in pull ups until 4 and a half. Definitely switch to pull ups instead of nappies though.

My son only came out of nappies at night at about age 5 1/2 and my daughter just this week at 5 1/2 years old.my son is 7 now and since he came out of nappies has never had an accident. Both were dry in the day fairly young. I tried several times for long periods with them both. They just weren’t ready until they were older.

I think you have another year or two of this being within the bounds of normal (though later than average).

I’ve been told that there is a hormone children get an increase in at a certain age that helps with dryness over night and some kids get this hormone increase later.

I also think it can have a genetic element. My Dh was also wetting at night until he was 7/8 ish.

The reason to wear pull ups over nappies is if he randomly wakes up at night and gets up to go to the toilet he can do it all himself. He will very likely wake you up with the noise but least you will find him on or near the toilet. He can then also go to toilet himself in the morning.

The reason to wear pull ups over nappies is if he randomly wakes up at night and gets up to go to the toilet he can do it all himself

But he’s perfectly capable of taking off a nappy by himself too.

He hates wearing nappies and he hates wearing pull-ups and as both are equally disliked by him I don’t really see the point in wearing one type over the other. It makes no difference to him.

It seems a lot of people suggest taking him for a night time wee when me and DH go to bed so I might start trying that. If it means we can avoid the nighttime upset of nappy wearing then it will be worth it. He’s a really good sleeper so hopefully he will drop off back to sleep straight away once we pop him back in to his bed.

I will talk to him about it when I get home from work and see what he thinks of the idea.

But he’s perfectly capable of taking off a nappy by himself too.
But can he put it back on? In a pull-up he can take himself entirely like in the day. I'd be impressed of he can do that with a taped nappy.

But he’s perfectly capable of taking off a nappy by himself too.

But can he put it back on? In a pull-up he can take himself entirely like in the day. I'd be impressed of he can do that with a taped nappy.

That would be impressive

I guess my point is that pull-ups are only beneficial if the child is actually waking up for a wee as it means they can manage it themselves, but my son doesn’t wake up for a wee and so a pull-up would serve no purpose to him.

If he preferred to wear them over nappies then I would of course let him so as not to cause him upset, but he hates wearing them just as much as he hates wearing a nappy.

I wouldn't worry about it, I still use nappies on my 5.5yo.

What sort of nappies do other mums use for and older child?

DS1 (has ASD). Was dry in the day from 3 yrs 11 mths - just days before starting Nursery class at school. Dry at night at around 9 or 10.

DS2 - dry day & night from 2 yrs old. The very same night he had stopped wearing a nappy in the day, he woke up, removed his night time nappy & walked to the loo for a wee. Never put one on him again.

DD - dry in the day at roughly 3 yrs. Dry at night from around 7 yrs.

DS1 & DD both had issues with withholding poo. Meaning they would wait until they had their night time nappies on to do a poo. They were both terrified of doing a poo on the toilet. DS1 was about 8 & DD 6 before they got over that.

It may not be well talked about OP but it's totally normal.

My 7 year old isn't dry at night. I've seen a bedwetting specialist about it as DD was worried about it. Honestly it's NORMAL. At her age it's normal and literally nothing to be concerned about, let alone at 4. Don't worry, he'll get there when he's ready.

My DS (who would hate me for mentioning this) actually preferred wearing a nappy at night, rather than a pull up.

We did not do the lifting to take him for a wee in the middle of the night however, as DS was (and is) to heavy of sleeper for it to make any sense.

We did try pull ups for around a month and a half, but as I said-- DS preferred the nappies. As long as only his brother, DH, and myself were the only ones to know he was wearing them. I never complained about him preferring them, because frankly.. we found that they seem to hold far more wee than pull ups, and we're much cheaper in general. They certainly seem to go on offer more than the pull ups do for some reason.

I wouldn't worry about it OP! Reassure him that it's not his fault, and there's many other LO's going through the same thing.

It is normal, but if he hates nappies, you can buy washable absorbant night pants that look more grown up (and he would feel the wet a bit more which could help him).

Have you looked at the ERIC website? There is lots of good advice there. But bottom line is, not to worry before 5.

My DS was in night time pull-ups until about 5. We didn’t do any night wee training as I don’t believe it is effective. The vast majority of children are dry at night when their bodies are ready. He just wore the pull ups every night and then we suddenly noticed that he was dry in the mornings. Waited until we had a run of 7 consecutive dry pull ups then stopped wearing them altogether.

My DD was quicker to finish with the nighttime pull-ups. Same method though.

Both are now teenagers and have never had a wet night since ditching the pull-ups. It really is just a waiting game.

Both of mine were 7 before being dry at night. Completely reliable in the day at 2.5.

It’s normal. It relies on the body producing a hormone at night that shuts down the kidneys, and also a biofeedback mechanism where the full bladder wakes them up.

So:

Restricting fluids can be counterproductive. They need to learn to recognise and wake when their bladder is full. Increasing drinks can help as it stretches the bladder and helps the brain recognise the link with needing a wee.

Lifting for a wee can also be counterproductive. If they aren’t fully awake you are effectively teaching them to wee in their sleep. They need to be fully awake and aware. Secondly again it doesn’t help the brain learn to wake itself when the bladder sends full signals.

With mine, we had a deal that 3 dry nappies and they could go without, but if they wet the bed it was back into nappies

I also reassured them that their body “just wasn’t ready yet”- and a useful exercise was to tell them that 1:5 children weren’t dry at night at 7. In a class of 30 that meant 6 were still in nappies. I asked them to name the other 5 children in their class, obviously they couldn’t so they were happier that a) normal and b) no one could tell.