Naked in front of children

[whattodu]

Hi I'm female with 2 adult dd. I've never hidden my body from them while growing up as I believe in promoting positive normal body image. But I have respected their boundaries so when they were teens and more self conscious/ embarrassed by me I was more discreet. I'm happy to say they are both very comfortable in their bodies.

I now have a six year old ds with asd, he comes into bed in a morning with us and dh and I sleep naked. Obviously we have covers. He also needs lots of support with dressing etc more than a typical 6 year old does so we tend to get dressed together with me assisting him. What age should a mother stop being naked in front of sons in your opinion?

When either of them feels uncomfortable with it.

Why would it make a difference if it was a son or daughter. Surely the same rule applies - whenever anyone isn't comfortable with it any more.

Do you think his asd will prevent him vocalising his discomfort with your nakedness?

What age did you husband stop being naked around your daughters? Maybe that could be your benchmark.

I just don't get how seeing your parents in the altogether is promoting positive body image?

What Dropyoursword said. I have 3dc, all boys, the oldest is 13, youngest is 6. Oldest still occasionally clocks me naked or in my underwear, but that's what happens when you walk in my bedroom or the bathroom without knocking first. Youngest still jumps in the bath with me.

@Northernsoullover I guess because it’s an adult body they see whilst growing up that hasn’t been edited, filtered or distorted online (where they’re most likely to see naked bodies otherwise). My daughters are pretty similar to me physically and they’re likely to look somewhat similar to me as adult women, it’s positive for them to see me scars, flaws and all and comfortable and beautiful in my own skin. Not gratuitously, but not hidden either.

@DropYourSword

Why would it make a difference if it was a son or daughter. Surely the same rule applies - whenever anyone isn't comfortable with it any more.

That's what I'm wondering? Is it?

I agree with @PhileasPhilby

@Northernsoullover

I just don't get how seeing your parents in the altogether is promoting positive body image?

It's definitely personal preference I wouldn't say theres a right or wrong. I guess I'm saying my body shows a realistic unfiltered view of body. 😂

Both my DS see me naked all the time. They're 10 and 8. It's just normal to us.

I agree with others that when he tells you he's uncomfortable with it.

However, I wouldn't personally walk around the house naked but if he comes in to your room or the bathroom etc when you're there then it can be expected. I suspect you'll start to know then when he feels uncomfortable as you'll notice he doesn't come in as much or knocks first

@LizzieMacQueen

Do you think his asd will prevent him vocalising his discomfort with your nakedness?

What age did you husband stop being naked around your daughters? Maybe that could be your benchmark.

More that he needs more support/supervision than a child typically needs that age as an explanation as to why I'm still dressing him/not leaving him unsupervised. But yes you are right communication is also a factor to consider.

Dh is step father to dd's has never been naked in front of them.

You need to wear underwear

@TheVolturi

You need to wear underwear

Why?

My DS is nearly 8, I don’t strut around the house nude. But he knows if he comes in my room when I am getting ready he may see me naked. It’s his choice.

My 4dc used to see me naked all the time (shower, getting dressed, in bed etc) they all at some point in their teens just over time started knocking before coming into my room or bathroom, and I'd let them know if I was naked or getting dressed.

@TheVolturi

You need to wear underwear

In bed??

From about the age of 10 my ds stopped barging into my room and would say "can I come in?" from the doorway first. I'm not sure but would guess this is around the age that they start getting changed separately at school..? It didn't come from us, anyway.

Dd is now that age and just walks in.

With my eldest I stopped when he was around 7 or 8. It wasn't a conscious decision to wait till that age, it just felt natural to start covering up. He's 13 now and occasionally sees me in underwear but not naked for a few years now. My other kids still see me naked, they'll come into the bathroom when I'm in the bath. Even though one of them is over the age of 8, she's a girl so it feels OK for now.

I have two sons, the eldest is about to turn 8 and my youngest is 4.5.

My 8 year old loves being naked, as soon as he comes home from school he starts stripping off. He has absolutely no qualms about his nakedness at all.

I think that’s because my husband was always comfortable being naked and so nudity was normal in our house.

However, when the eldest was about 6 my DH stopped being naked in front of him as he just didn’t feel it was appropriate anymore.

My 8 year old is much more comfortable with his nakedness than our 4.5 year old is, but like I said, I imagine that’s because the eldest saw nudity in our house a lot whereas the 4.5 year old hasn’t.

Neither of my children see me fully naked but I don’t mind them seeing me topless and they certainly aren’t bothered by it.

Me and DH will just be guided by them.

Direct communication is not always necessary as long as you follow their cues. You might also find that in some situations they are comfortable with nakedness, but not in others.

For example DD stopped wanting baths/showers with me at around 5, but she'd still want me there to watch her play ,listen to her natter or ask for help to wash her hair while she had hers. She won't come in the bathroom now when i have a bath/shower but thinks nothing of coming/being in the bedroom when I get changed. She's comfortable getting changed in front of me but will avoid doing so in front of OH or her friends. She has the option of shutting doors, telling us to stay away and that is always respected.

I think if you watch for the signs, you'll be able to tell when it becomes a problem and adjust.

I’ve slept naked since I left home at 18. DS 12 tends to end up sleeping naked at night too.
Sometimes, though rarely now, he’l come into bed for a cuddle in the night.
He’ll come and chat to me while I’m showering.
All quite normal here.
However, he knows that when he goes for a sleepover or he has a friend for a sleepover that he must wear PJs or pants and a tee.

My adult DS still live at home, 20 & 19, often they will wander into my room when I am dressing etc, they don’t even seem to notice 😂 but they would be horrified to see their dad naked or if I saw them naked. I suppose it’s just that I am “mum”