Naked in front of children

[whattodu]

Hi I'm female with 2 adult dd. I've never hidden my body from them while growing up as I believe in promoting positive normal body image. But I have respected their boundaries so when they were teens and more self conscious/ embarrassed by me I was more discreet. I'm happy to say they are both very comfortable in their bodies.

I now have a six year old ds with asd, he comes into bed in a morning with us and dh and I sleep naked. Obviously we have covers. He also needs lots of support with dressing etc more than a typical 6 year old does so we tend to get dressed together with me assisting him. What age should a mother stop being naked in front of sons in your opinion?

I never saw my parents naked and grew up with all sorts of body issues so I was determined to be a lot more relaxed about nudity with my DDs. They’ve seen my saggy boobs and wobbly tummy plenty of times!

My DH was the same although he does put his pants on around the DDs now they’re older.

[quote LimeSupper]@Northernsoullover I guess because it’s an adult body they see whilst growing up that hasn’t been edited, filtered or distorted online (where they’re most likely to see naked bodies otherwise). My daughters are pretty similar to me physically and they’re likely to look somewhat similar to me as adult women, it’s positive for them to see me scars, flaws and all and comfortable and beautiful in my own skin. Not gratuitously, but not hidden either.[/quote]
Yes, this is how I feel.

Maybe an outlier but as an only child I never stopped seeing my parents naked or they me. I am 44 and my Dad will come and talk to me in the bath if he pops round when I am in there.
I have a lot of long baths!If he’s just out of the shower he would come in to get dressed and I would carry on talking to my mum (this only happens really when we go on villa holidays with them). Nudity is normal, not sure why we are so hung up on it in this country.
DS is 9 and still gets in the bath with me. I quite often walk around the house naked and won’t be stopping, as it’s my house! If he starts wanting privacy to get changed himself that’s obviously fine.

@ldontWanna

Direct communication is not always necessary as long as you follow their cues. You might also find that in some situations they are comfortable with nakedness, but not in others.

For example DD stopped wanting baths/showers with me at around 5, but she'd still want me there to watch her play ,listen to her natter or ask for help to wash her hair while she had hers. She won't come in the bathroom now when i have a bath/shower but thinks nothing of coming/being in the bedroom when I get changed. She's comfortable getting changed in front of me but will avoid doing so in front of OH or her friends. She has the option of shutting doors, telling us to stay away and that is always respected.

I think if you watch for the signs, you'll be able to tell when it becomes a problem and adjust.

Thank you my ds is totally comfortable I guess I'm questioning if I should stop doing it now he's getting older.

@whattodu have you had a chat with him about privacy, PANTS rule etc.? Is it going in? Is he understanding? Is he showing any signs of wanting his own privacy?

Coming into bed with you, I guess you could wear a long tshirt or underwear, but I suspect that if he was uncomfortable he'd either make comments ,ask questions or come in a lot less.

Helping him, is a need at the moment. By all means you can explain that to him and encourage independence and only do what is necessary, with the view of preparing him and yourself for once he is older.

That's another one of the chats I had with my daughter. Encouraging showers for examples and her washing her own hair and me going in only to check or if she wanted me to. I explained to her that she is growing up, and there might come a day when she's uncomfortable with me there so she needs to learn and be able to do it all by herself. If it never happens, that's fine. If she does ,she'll have the skills and confidence to do it herself. It's little things that you build up on ,talk about and then take your cue from the kids. Unless , there is some discomfort for you as well ? Or just a worry of "what is normal"? As you can see from this thread there's no normal.

Errr, if your kid is sleeping with you, yeah.

@ChangeChangyChange

Will probably happen organically by itself, my ds caught me coming downstairs naked and shouted out “Gandalf! Thou shall not pass” I covered up after that. My dd hopped in the bath with me and the bubbles moved, she recoiled and pointed at my pubes with horror and said “ I don’t like that bit” I covered up after that.

@NorthFaceofthelaundrypile

I’ve slept naked since I left home at 18. DS 12 tends to end up sleeping naked at night too. Sometimes, though rarely now, he’l come into bed for a cuddle in the night. He’ll come and chat to me while I’m showering. All quite normal here. However, he knows that when he goes for a sleepover or he has a friend for a sleepover that he must wear PJs or pants and a tee.

That's a step too far for me now at 12. You would cuddle your son naked in bed at night at 12???

I don’t think it’s an issue when your kids are toddlers but dear God am I glad I don’t have a memory of my parents in the altogether. I would have probably removed my own eyeballs. For the love of God wear a nightie!

Fucking hell @Bickles you are 44 and your Dad talks to you in the bath?? Really?! Not much completely gobsmacks me but that has!!

I have never seen my parents naked - in fact I don’t really even remember seeing my siblings naked and there are five of us.
But my husband is one of three boys and he walks around the bedroom naked and often sleeps naked. So I just joined him. I have boy / girl twins who are now 15. I still don’t walk around the house naked but I am naked in my room and my bathroom and they just walk-in. I watched a loose women programme about it once and teens seeing the droopy body of someone they love helps them not expect body perfection from themselves or others. I do find it weird sometimes if I am honest - but I don’t stop them because I don’t want it to be an issue. Interestingly they have been private about their own bodies for years and so I always knock on their closed bedroom doors before I enter.

Yes. Not regularly but neither of us would bat an eyelid. It’s definitely happened this year.
We are English but I don’t think every culture makes nudity into such a big thing as we do.

My eldest is 8. He also has ASD and requires more supervision in the bath that you would expect at 8, similarly needs more help dressing and sometimes cleaning his bottom.

He sees me naked if I’m changing or having a shower. He’s not fussed about it.

For some reason I feel a bit icky about the idea of him being in Bed with me and DH naked though. We often sleep naked but both pop something on if DC are disturbed in the night or want to cuddle in the morning. I guess I view nakedness in bed as being a more intimate thing between two adults whereas having a wash or getting dressed is just a mundane daily activity?

Stop when anybody is uncomfortable with it. My husband walks around naked in front of our children. They're all girls, aged between 2 and 18 (eldest has asd and probably my husband too). If any of my children ever said they were uncomfortable, he'd stop. It's just a body though, at the end of the day.

Whenever they seem uncomfortable with it I guess. My ds is 9 and he doesn’t bat an eyelid when he sees me naked if he climbs into my bed in morning or sees me in the shower or whatever.

In some countries families have naked sauna together at all ages. If nudity isn’t a sexual thing and everyone is comfortable than there never needs to be an age when it stops. In England some familes are more like “nudity = sexual how can you be naked around a child 😱” which is hilarious to me as nudity is not in itself sexual to me but I guess makes sense to them in the same way that for some countries sight of a woman’s hair or elbow is 😱.

@Clarabe1

I don’t think it’s an issue when your kids are toddlers but dear God am I glad I don’t have a memory of my parents in the altogether. I would have probably removed my own eyeballs. For the love of God wear a nightie!

Yes I am glad I don't have that memory of my parents 😂😂

DS is 10 (I'm female) and will sometimes walk in if I'm changing and it doesn't really bother either of us. I wouldn't make a point of stripping off in front of him or walking about naked on the landing when he's likely to see me doing so but if he catches me changing when he comes into my room / bathroom unannounced, then sobeit.

I don't think it's appropriate to be naked in front of your kids regardless of their age.

Surprised with the comments in this thread, especially where dad walks naked in front of daughters 🤯

I am very uncomfortable with nudity. People say oh it’s just a body and it’s natural but I really don’t want to see anyones arse or balls or whatever.

My kids are 3 and 5. It hasn’t occurred to me yet to bother covering up/ we often shower or bath together. I think that at 12 though I will feel differently about it!
Not sure when it will stop but I’m sure I will feel uncomfortable before 12!

@Clarabe1

I don’t think it’s an issue when your kids are toddlers but dear God am I glad I don’t have a memory of my parents in the altogether. I would have probably removed my own eyeballs. For the love of God wear a nightie!

I find this so different to my life.

@BourbonVanilla

I don't think it's appropriate to be naked in front of your kids regardless of their age.

Surprised with the comments in this thread, especially where dad walks naked in front of daughters 🤯

OH and DD used to have baths together.

Try and get your head around that one.

@BourbonVanilla

I don't think it's appropriate to be naked in front of your kids regardless of their age.

Surprised with the comments in this thread, especially where dad walks naked in front of daughters 🤯

But you probably learnt that from your parents right? If they were very uptight and uncomfortable about being naked and thought it was inappropriate then that would be what you learnt and what you will pass on to your children too.

Isn't it better that they learn what naked bodies can look like from seeing their parents as they grow up rather than base their expectations on what they see in porn?

@Gowithme to be completely honest I would have rather have learned from porn than seeing my parents in the buff. The very thought traumatises me.