Hesitant to have another baby with current Russian threat?

[sm2510]

Possibly a bit daft but would the current Ukraine/Russia situation make you think again about having another baby? I have 2 dc (5 and 3) and have been thinking about having a third, but the current situation is making me anxious about the future and the thought of being pregnant if things get worse over here really frightens me. I guess my fear is not being able to access the care I’d need (I’d need a c section as I’ve had 2 already) if things really kicked off here. Am I being completely ridiculous?!

🤣🤣🤣 @ people saying you shouldn’t have more than 2 children. Wtf is this? Communist China?

I have 3 kids and am proud. I would’ve had another one if our finances allowed.

But back to the OP: don’t be so silly. Unless you live in Ukraine, you don’t need to worry about things like this.

@NowEvenBetter

Yes, Brutus, of course. Same as I get judged for not inflicting life on someone to suffer existence on a planet in its death throes caused by humans over breeding. (Whoever mentioned plastic/flights etc.-nah, making a person exist is the worst thing, by incomparable margins that a person can do to the environment. ‘Catastrophic, unprecedented and irreversible climate change’ isn’t something I’d appreciate being forced to exist in, the upcoming decades are going to be awful)

Alright, Goady McGoaderson.

Definitely have another child. Our population is falling and, despite the weird anti-human sentiment common amongst middle class lefties, people are good, especially when raised by a family like you, where you have two thriving kids already. The world has ALWAYS been going to hell in a handcart, and most of of history has been worse. Of course, we didn't have a choice in the olden days, but it's still good to have as many kids as you feel you would like.

I’m in my 40s. So judge away. We can afford to give our four kids a decent start in life and some savings to help them in early adulthood. They are also environmentally aware.

Plus they’re here now so I can’t exactly put them back.

@BrutusMcDogface

I’m in my 40s. So judge away. We can afford to give our four kids a decent start in life and some savings to help them in early adulthood. They are also environmentally aware.

Plus they’re here now so I can’t exactly put them back.

I'd loved to have had more. I envy larger families and all the interesting dynamics.

I rarely use mumsnet and I’m struck by how much more unfriendly people are than in real life (or maybe mumsnet just attracts unfriendly ones?!) Thank you to those whose comments have shown empathy (I don’t just mean the ones who said sure, have another baby). I welcome all the opinions and think they’re all valid but it seems the anonymity on here makes some people quite rude.

There have always been many reasons not to have children. Taking into account factors like world peace, environmental dangers etc. means no one would ever have children. Just look at people who decided to have children in the middle of WW2 - I'm sure some must have judged them pretty harshly. Yet those children have lived through the most peaceful and prosperous times Europe has ever seen!

The number of children people have is due to social pressures and this thread is the perfect example. Most people here have 2 children because that is the socially acceptable number in our society. Many of the posters smugly saying they had 2 because 2 are plenty, would definitely have had more if they'd been born in Nigeria, Palestine or other countries with a high birth rate.

Besides, the birth rate on the UK is so low we are below replacement level. The OP having 3,4 or 10 kids is not going to make a difference.

Do you mean from a safety perspective?

I think I’d be more concerned about the rising cost of living, which is going to get much worse. Will you be able to afford another, if prices keep on increasing?

Personally, two is perfect.

The worlds always had shit, people act like this is new.
There's been starving dying adults and children that pay the price for others choices since the dawn of 'humanity'
Suddenly it's a bit closer and people are shocked and concerned
People in here worrying that coffee will be pricey when there's kids drinking filthy water elsewhere

My point was, do what makes you happy. Ultimately it doesn't matter, life is short enjoy it

I'd be more worried the long term environmental impact of having a third child regarding population growth and diminishing resources than the war in Ukraine.
If population growth is not stemmed than wars are more likely.

We generally need to be having more children if we want to be looked after in older age. Environmentally, 2 is fine. Socially, we need 3/4 children.

Immigration can solve that

Immigrants from countries with a birth rate of 5+?

I guess my fear is not being able to access the care I’d need (I’d need a c section as I’ve had 2 already) if things really kicked off here

Honestly can't believe people in this country can think like this...Get a grip .. seriously. Here in the UK, we're not going to become refugees.

I agree with you, @sm2510. Some people can be very rude.

Yes. Utterly ridiculous. You probably shouldn't have another child if this is your mindset.

If you want another, have another.

People rabbit on about the world being over populated but also want cures for every disease going.

@sunshineamongsttheshitstorm

Does everyone on this thread saying how irresponsible it is to have a 3rd child live a very ecologically friendly life? Drive electric cars or not drive at all. Walk all the school runs. Not eat meat at all as that is one of the biggest factors that could help climate change. Not go on planes. Etc etc etc. Whilst growing the population obviously impacts the environment it's the people on this planet now plus the huge cooperations we have now that aren't doing there bit. Stop telling other people how to live their lives meanwhile I can bet your life choices aren't clean cut but yet telling other people to live a certain way is just beggars belief.

Mumsnet hypocrisy at its finest.
Obviously you will all be on to tell me what eco friendly angels you are now 😇

All of those things are a drop in the ocean compared to the emissions caused by the entire lifetime of an extra person. Yes you should obviously live an eco lifestyle as well but the number one biggest thing that affects your footprint is the number of children you have, this is well known.

But the op didn't mention the environment or just the state of the world. She mentioned that because Russia has invaded Ukraine, she might not be able to have a c section. Does she honestly think in a year or so's time, she'll be fleeing the country with no access to healthcare? If so, that's totally batshit

We have 4 kids, youngest turned 1 in Feb. Proper lockdown baby
They are such a joyous, wild bunch. They're amazing. They also adore each other, and fight like cat and dog too.
Love having a big family, it's the best thing. You do you, if you want another child, go for it

I'm more concerned about the cost of living, so that puts off having a third. If you can afford it, and want another, go for it.

No what's happening in the Ukraine wouldn't stop me if I could afford another child

As it is I have 4 and really don't care what people on here think.

Yes, this is ridiculous. So is the belief on Mumsnet that you're killing the planet if you have more than two children, although I suppose that's just secular liberalism for you.

@beattieedny Yes, it's anti human, especially because historically a lot of the people "concerned about overpopulation" have been eugenicists. Similarly when people say we can use immigration to fix our fertility collapse I do wonder quite how happy these immigrants would be to know we basically want to import some serfs. But then this is where my beliefs (standard Christian) diverge from the prevailing Mumsnet mindset that humans are a blight on the planet.

@BrutusMcDogface don’t pay anyone who judges any attention. It’s pathetic. It doesn’t affect them personally and I’m sure there’s plenty you could judge others on if you were as pathetic.