Do you hide things from the kids?

[Mummyongin]

Do you hide things, specifically to hold boundaries eg screens, remotes, snacks etc? If not, how do you hold the boundary if it’s being pushed?

I take the laptop and switch to my room at night if they're not left where they should be, they're not hidden as such though as the DC know I've got them.

I'm not sure hiding things in your case would stop the waking. I used to get up really early as a child. I'd play, read and 'watch' the testcard or ceefax until childrens TV came on and eat spoonfuls of jam or cocoa powder and dry cereal as my Mum hid the biscuits!

Put a shop bell above her door so it alerts you to her opening it?

Put a high bolt on the door in the room the TV is in?

The lady who used to live here had bolts on the outside of the kids bedrooms and on the kitchen door plus child locks on the kitchen cupboards

Do you have virgin media? I think you can pin lock the set top box

I remove the TV remotes for for downstairs there is no button to switch it on you MUST use the remote so the kids come into my room and use my TV which wakes me up anyway

@Aquamarine1029

We’ve tried putting the tv on a timed plug but she worked out how to use the google speaker to turn the plug on, she frequently works out our hiding places for things.

Does she not have consequences for such blatantly bad behaviour?

She was honestly so proud to work out the tv thing she told us straight away - so I didn’t treat it as bad behaviour as she didn’t realise it was wrong. We told her the tv didn’t work before 7am so she thought she fixed it. I’m asking advice to parent better so open to suggestions.

Set your alarm and her grow clock for 6. Tell her she can read book and play with her toys until 6. Get up and feed her breakfast at 6.

I’d just get up with her tbh. Feel your pain though as a fellow night owl.

My DTs are 4, they’ve got up once each and gone downstairs which set the alarm off. Made a fearful racket, which scared them so they’ve not done it since. Now, they’ll either come find mama or their sibling depending upon their mood, but I’m nearly always up now when they wake up. I couldn’t leave them unsupervised for two hours whilst I was in bed, I dread to think what they’d do in that time!

Food and drink wise they can help themselves to things I leave on the side, but they generally ask for a snack.

If she can’t be trusted not to have chocolate and sweets at that time in a morning then stop buying them. I wouldn’t hide them as it sounds like it would become a game for her to find them.
At 5 she should be able to get some fruit or a bowl of cereal. But I’d also make a rule that she’s not allowed out of her bedroom before 6am. We have the same rule for my eldest and I hear him come out of his room at 6:01.

My son is a dreadful sleeper I put his food and a drink upstairs ready for morning

What consequences are there for her? For not staying in her room quietly until gro clock says it’s morning? For going through the snack cupboard before breakfast? 1-2 hours of tv? Def think you need to insist she stays put til 6, and then go down with her and be a bit more hands on with what she’s up to. Activity books? Lego? Help you with breakfast? At least police the tv a bit.

I would use the gro clock again and start putting her back in her room in the morning if she comes out before the sun comes up on it. Have you tried a star chart - one star for each morning she stays in her room until the sun comes up then some sort of treat at the end of the week if she gets full stars?

Though, at 5 she is old enough to understand rules and consequences, I'd start putting these in place now.

I’m surprised there aren’t more kids like mine tbh, the morning is the tip of the iceberg with her. I will ask DH to share the early morning alarms so I can top up on sleep on his days.

Yes all the time if they are in that mood to destroy the house until they reach the thing, it's much easier to hide it and endure the tantrum because he doesn't know where to look. For example 3yo wanted to play with an umbrella yesterday, it's now on the highest shelf.

DS1 used to go absolutely crazy trying to get things if I told him he couldn't have more, but if I said it was all finished then he'd stop. I had to hide them too.

Does she respond well if you say no TV before clock is yellow, or a time if she can tell the time, but she's allowed to play in her room or similar?

I'd also give her access to food that is reasonable, like cereal or make a sandwich before you go to bed or something so that she's not tempted by the snacks.

But I don't think making things inaccessible is a bad way of enforcing a boundary. If it works it works. I would recommend being honest and clear where possible though. Say you may not use the TV before 7, rather than it doesn't work before 7. And I think it's fair not to punish her for something she thought was helpful!

It should sort itself out a bit when the clocks go back.

Is it possible her bedtime is a bit too early? She might just not need the amount of sleep that would have her waking up at 7.

I’m a night owl but no way on earth my 5 year old is downstairs for 2 hours unsupervised on her own.. once I hear her get up, I’m up too. Which is exhausting as my DD is up at 6am on the dot. But that’s parenting. To be fair, she wouldn’t dream of trying anything like that.. I’d be absolutely furious. She’d get shouted at, TV banned & no treats for two weeks, no birthday parties or play dates etc.

Why do you not get really cross with her?!

Your solutions - get up with her. If you are a heavy sleeper, set an alarm. You are going to have to suck up being tried.

Explain to her under no circumstances is she to go downstairs on her own. If she does, she gets punished quite harshly.

Sticker chart for good behaviour? Not convinced your DD will respond if she thinks eating treats before you wake up is something to bs proud of

Maybe some compromise that she can have an iPad or equivalent in the morning in bed? That’s what I do with DD if I’m knackered.

Hide the snacks. I hide food or DD just badgers for it all the time. I keep biscuits & chocolate in the cupboard with child lock on it! We have the locks that require a magnet to open them & I keep the magnet on the top shelf of the fridge 🙈

Unless your up and supervising her, she's free to do what she wants. That's your responsibility to deal with. Not a 5 year olds. Stop looking for cop out suggestions to get her to stay in bed longer and start going to bed earlier. Jeez.

@jellybe

I would use the gro clock again and start putting her back in her room in the morning if she comes out before the sun comes up on it. Have you tried a star chart - one star for each morning she stays in her room until the sun comes up then some sort of treat at the end of the week if she gets full stars?

Though, at 5 she is old enough to understand rules and consequences, I'd start putting these in place now.

I get it, and that sounds great but it’s not without downsides. She shares a room with her younger brother so putting her back in her room at 5.30/6am would wake him up. We’ve tried reward charts and it just makes her less inclined to do anything that isn’t rewarded and then meltdown if she misses a star and loses the reward.

Maybe I’m losing the plot or have a very challenging 5 year old but I’m struggling to imagine how some of the suggestions here would work?

We don’t hide anything, we just have rules and consequences.

What is the current consequence for sneaking downstairs and eating crisps and chocolate, presumably after she’s been told not to do it?

In your situation I would just make sure I didn’t have crisps or chocolate in the house. She can’t find and eat what isn’t there. Eventually she will realise this and give up at which point you can buy them again.

Let her stay up later. We solve this issue with my 6yr old by an 8pm bedtime. He now gets up just before 7am :)

I’m asking advice to parent better so open to suggestions.

You get up when your small child gets up. It's not rocket science. It's pure negligence that you don't.

Maybe I’m losing the plot or have a very challenging 5 year old but I’m struggling to imagine how some of the suggestions here would work?

Your five year old isn't "very challenging." She's being left to her own devices and makes poor choices *beacuse she's five." Just like any other unsupervised five year old would do.

She’s an early bird and is happy on her own watching TV, I don’t see the problem. Regarding the food, I suppose explain the snacks are treats and not allowed before breakfast but have alternatives left out instead that you are both happy with. If she keeps taking the snacks, either decide what the consequences are or just put them where she can’t reach.
I definitely wouldn’t be setting an alarm for 5:30 to sit watching her watch tv. If you’re happy with her downstairs on her own then that suits you, your parenting and your household. Just because others do differently doesn’t mean you have to follow suit.
Do what suits best for you

Could you encourage her to come through to you instead? Ds comes and gets in bed with me and dh if he wakes up before us. He knows he is now allowed downstairs alone. TV wise, he knows how to turn it on with the remote, but has no idea how to use it. As for snacks, he knows where they are, but they're out of his reach, if he wants anything he knows to ask.

We don't hide anything. We have reasonable rules in place and we don't set her up to fail.

She's 5, getting up all by herself,bored ,hungry and doing what she wants. What do you expect? For her to write her next symphony? She can't really stay in her bed either because she'll wake up her brother. It's unrealistic to expect her to be there in complete silence.

So you either wake up with her or leave her acceptable snacks/breakfast and warn her of the consequences if she eats the chocolate/biscuits etc.

If she's up at 5am and in at the chocolates, I think you're past the hiding it stage TBH.

I'd be getting up with her and supervising.

My kids are almost as tall as I am now (eldest is 9). They can just climb on chairs to get in at things hidden up high now. I don't hide stuff but instead punish/have consequences for going against my wishes.