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Parenting

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Original poster

Leaving kids with someone who has a criminal history

55 replies

AnotherAnxiousMess · 13/03/2022 15:28

My partner and I are going away for a weekend. We have two daughters, 2 and 4 years old. My MIL is coming across to our house to take care of them whilst we’re away, I’ve only ever left them overnight with my parents before, so this is a big deal for me anyway. But to add to it, she is bringing her bf along, they’ve only been together for about 6 months and I don’t know much about him and have only met him a few times. I recently found out that he has a criminal history and has been to prison. I got my partner to ask his mum about what the charges were for and was told it was for burglary and assault, but it was years ago. AIBU to not feel comfortable leaving my kids overnight with this guy?

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AHungryCaterpillar · 13/03/2022 15:30

The fact she’s only known him 6m would be a no for me without or without the criminal record.

AHungryCaterpillar · 13/03/2022 15:31

That should be with* !

Thesearmsofmine · 13/03/2022 15:31

Even without that I wouldn’t have had him looking after my children. They have only been together for 6 months.

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TeaForTiger · 13/03/2022 15:32

Of course not. And if it was the only option I would cancel my trip.

Even without the criminal record.

TinaYouFatLard · 13/03/2022 15:33

Criminality aside I would not leave my children with a man I barely knew.

TeaForTiger · 13/03/2022 15:33

I mean, why would he even want to stay in a stranger's house with their young DC??

Justkeepon · 13/03/2022 15:34

I wouldn't leave my children with anyone I didn't know regardless of whether they had been to prison or not, your MIL has only known him 6 months so even she doesn't know him very well

HereBdragons · 13/03/2022 15:34

For fucks sake, she should be old enough to know better than that. You don’t take your boyfriend to your babysitting job. Even teenagers know this. I would not be happy with this OP. Have you even met the man?

Orchidflower1 · 13/03/2022 15:34

@TinaYouFatLard

Criminality aside I would not leave my children with a man I barely knew.

This totally- is there anyone else who can have them. If not I’d cancel the trip.

PeacefulPrune · 13/03/2022 15:34

I defo wouldn't be happy with that, even without the criminal record. You haven't known his long enough. Did she even ask if she could bring him?

Ulchabhan · 13/03/2022 15:35

Why does your MIL need to bring her partner?

axolotlfloof · 13/03/2022 15:35

Don't do it, it's a terrible idea.

tribpot · 13/03/2022 15:35

Nope. Even without the criminal conviction. You barely know this person.

PeacefulPrune · 13/03/2022 15:36

Exactly @TeaForTiger.

Penhaligon · 13/03/2022 15:37

There is no way I'd be okay with this.

Steelesauce · 13/03/2022 15:38

Its the only knowing 6 months that would be the no for me.

I know someone who went to prison for attempted murder. They are the nicest guy and I would 100% leave my children with them. It happened over 30 years ago (way before I knew them) and they have a completely different life now. So I wouldn't judge someone 100% on a previous criminal history.

Pinkbonbon · 13/03/2022 15:40

Ahaha no chance!

No way would I let a man I didn't know stay in NY home without me even there. Let alone eith my kids.

Madness.

babywalker56 · 13/03/2022 15:42

I agree with all of the above comments!

Criminal record aside, I wouldn't be leaving my kids with someone I didn't know let alone a man staying in my house for a whole weekend with my kids. Why does she even need to bring him, it doesn't make much sense?

Redshoeblueshoe · 13/03/2022 15:43

6 months - no way. What does your DH think ?

NowEvenBetter · 13/03/2022 15:43

Shows very poor judgement on the MILs part, that she’d even consider bringing her new boyfriend who she’s only been dating a few months to provide childcare for her grandkids. Shouldn’t even be an option.

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/03/2022 15:44

One of the most dangerous things you can do, in relation to child abuse, is leave a child with an unrelated man. Yours and MIL's naïveté means you wont be looking for signs of grooming.

Not a hope in hell I'd leave my girl in similar circumstances. And it would make me wonder about MIL and her judgement.

daisyjgrey · 13/03/2022 15:45

That record wouldn't be a massive concern, if I knew him and had known him for a decent amount of time.

I wouldn't leave my child with a man I didn't know. Full stop.

Clymene · 13/03/2022 15:45

@Ulchabhan

Why does your MIL need to bring her partner?

He's not her partner. He's her boyfriend. But yes, if she won't come without him, cancel the weekend away. Any woman who would bring a bloke she hardly knows to look after two tiny children is not the sort of women I want around my kids.

FTEngineerM · 13/03/2022 15:46

It’s not about the convictions, that could have been decades ago as a stupid youth. It’s about the fact it’s only 6 months for her and YOU don’t even know him at all!!!

Original poster

AnotherAnxiousMess · 13/03/2022 15:50

Thanks everyone for reaffirming what I was thinking. My partner thinks I’m overreacting, because he trusts his mum. It’s probably going to turn into a big fight between us and the MIL, I don’t think it ever crossed her mind that it would be a problem as she never even asked if he could come along, she just assumed it would be fine.

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