Leaving kids with someone who has a criminal history

[AnotherAnxiousMess]

My partner and I are going away for a weekend. We have two daughters, 2 and 4 years old. My MIL is coming across to our house to take care of them whilst we’re away, I’ve only ever left them overnight with my parents before, so this is a big deal for me anyway. But to add to it, she is bringing her bf along, they’ve only been together for about 6 months and I don’t know much about him and have only met him a few times. I recently found out that he has a criminal history and has been to prison. I got my partner to ask his mum about what the charges were for and was told it was for burglary and assault, but it was years ago. AIBU to not feel comfortable leaving my kids overnight with this guy?

@AnotherAnxiousMess

Thanks everyone for reaffirming what I was thinking. My partner thinks I’m overreacting, because he trusts his mum. It’s probably going to turn into a big fight between us and the MIL, I don’t think it ever crossed her mind that it would be a problem as she never even asked if he could come along, she just assumed it would be fine.

She clearly can't go without seeing her boyfriend and depends on him so much so soon, I don't think she's the right person to look after your children. Criminal convictions or not, none of you know this man well enough.

That assumption is the biggest problem. I couldn't go away and trust her not to just lie about it now.

I know my own DM was a sensible person but that didn't always translate when it came to her decisions whilst in a relationship.

@AnotherAnxiousMess

Just to clarify, I have met him about 5 times and so have my kids. He seems like an ok person…. But I wouldn’t say I know him enough to leave my kids with him.

And you're absolutely right. He may turn out to be a great guy. And 3 years down the line you're going on holiday with him and your mil.

But right now he's an unknown quantity and it's just not worth the risk.

@HereBdragons

For fucks sake, she should be old enough to know better than that. You don’t take your boyfriend to your babysitting job. Even teenagers know this. I would not be happy with this OP. Have you even met the man?

This.

Why is she bringing her boyfriend to babysit?

Ita not necessarily about the conviction. Quite frankly in my previous line of work I met many people who had been inside for violent crimes and they would rather cut their own leg off before they would hurt a child.

That said I met many who were in for seemingly less worrying crimes that I wouldn't trust with a goldfish let alone a child.

Not to mention the many I knew through a specific line of work that had no convictions and I wouldn't let within 20 miles of my dc.

You don't know him well enough, nor does your MIL for him to be in a scenario where MIL could leave the room and him be alone its about lack of time, contact etc

How could your partner be ok with that?

He should be on your side and it should be a resounding NO