At what age do you drop DC at a party and leave?

[AshGirl]

My DS has SEND so it's a different story for us but I'm interested in what age parents of a NT DC would drop and run. Is Reception age a bit too young?

I agree that certain areas seem to have different "rules" though.
My SIL was amazed that I was dropping my DC off at Reception parties - it wasn't the done thing in her circles to do that until at least Year 2, and many continued into Year 3.

For those who would drop at nursery/reception age, I'm assuming you would make this clear to the host parent? So "Here's X. I'm off now and will be back to pick them up at 3." Rather than just shoving them into the party room and doing a runner?

The only big party we've hosted so far for 4yo DS, all the parents stayed - but it does give me the chills to think that parents might just abandon their children to my care without doing an express "handover" - "Here's X. You are now responsible for making sure they don't drown/run into the road/get snatched by some random member of the public." Sort of like signing in at nursery/school. But maybe that's because we were holding the party in a huge hall on the main road with lots of entrances and exits. If it was in a house, I guess it would be easier to ensure all the children were safe.

When they are at school, so 4 or 5 (depending on when their birthday is in the year)

Here all parents stayed in reception. Y1 there were very few parties due to covid. Y2 most stayed at my daughters party at a trampoline place. Only one dropped off. At people’s houses everyone drops off though. Most recent one was in a village hall and about half stayed. We dropped off, daughter is v confident and doesn’t want us there.

Depends on child, parents, event and venue.

I nearly left ds(6) at a bouncy castle event in a games room in a community hub once until on the way out I found another boy wandering the corridors lost after going to look for the loo. After that I would sit at a discreet distance with the other parents that hung around and only leave if the kids were completely "fenced in" as the party childs parents and helpers just cannot watch every child at that age. Especially when it is full class parties and they dont even know their names or faces and wouldnt even notice if one went missing.

Expectations vary. You need to always check with parents before leaving your child alone - in my circle, for example, parents are expected to stay at all ages unless specifically told not to.

Never done drop and run with primary aged.

We dumped ours and ran (5th birthday party). Maybe we shouldn’t have. It was a small party room though, if each child had brought two parents there would have been no space. We were just across the road in a coffee shop if we were needed.

It’s DS’s birthday in 3 weeks and I am hoping the majority of parents drop and run - I don’t want to have to make small talk with 10 randoms sets of parents.

In Kindergarten (so 6th birthday parties) if it was at home, if it was at a venue we stayed close by - so ice skating or Timezone parties at the big shopping centre we’d hang around the shops while the party was on.

We stay if it’s at the pool/beach/playground and hang out with the other parents.

Would never expect to be catered for when staying!

In Australia- and at 10 parents still assume they are staying. It's bloody awkward and I don't like it!

Probably around 9 i was shocked when someone left there child at my ds birthday 6 at the time then they were over a hour late to collect never even knew the parent

Generally 6 here but lots of parents stay to socialise with other parents - it's a sociable year group.

5

Year 3 so 8th birthdays and parents stay which I find odd. I do try to cater for parents and siblings because you are taking up a chunk of family/weekend time if you expect a parent to stay so seems sensible to me to acknowledge it as a family event.

It depends on how well you know the parents in my opinion .

Reception a couple dropped most stayed. I was glad it wasn't more as I did need to do keep an extra eye on those, make sure they got taken to the loo etc.
Yr 1 about 50/50.
From year 2 I'd say most dropped. If someone stayed there was a reason e.g. a particularly timid child, friend of the parents staying for a natter and to help out, family travelling from a distance, younger sibling invited to keep birthday child's younger sibling company.
We always had a sheet to leave a contact number if you were dropping and running - and venues like sports centre that run their own parties did the same, so they were 'checked in'.
And yes it was often families with more kids who dropped sooner, if only one parent available and more children to look after there was no choice.

With my dd it started y1 so around 6. My ds has Sen so I wouldn't leave him .

Also I'd say depends on party size 3-4 kids in house is different to 30 in a hall.

Parties are usually busy. I don't know what type of party you could leave your 5 or 7 year old tbh.

Its not fair on the host having to watch all the kids. I think it's far too young.

I'm hosting a party for my year R child in a few weeks. I've said in the invite that parents can drop and go, we'll be interesting to see how many do so. Its at our house so we just don't have space for 8 kids plus their parents so I'm hoping most will leave!

No idea. DS8 hasn't been invited to a party in years. His "friends" at school have had them, so it's not a covid thing anymore. He just never gets asked if he wants to go.

When eldest was in YR, I had 3 younger and didn’t expect to turn to a party and usher them in too! so usually dropped and left. For younger three, I’d done it for eldest so did it for them. Based on parties hosted, on average, YR I’d say 50% parents stayed, Y1 25% and one parent in Y2.

However, this is all pre-Covid. So the DC had been to parties before starting school, had been away from me (preschool, swimming, dance etc) as had other DC from their parents. I had been to coffee mornings, assemblies etc and met the other parents. I can see how it would be different now.

This is so interesting, thanks for your comments. My DS is my PFB and has SEND (difficulties with communication and toileting among other issues) so it seems amazing that some YR kids are happy to be left!

Agree that Covid has had an impact and in recent years children have had much less practice at parties so would be less likely to know how to navigate potential issues.

No judgement intended by the way. I am genuinely interested by what life is like for NT families

@sanityisamyth

No idea. DS8 hasn't been invited to a party in years. His "friends" at school have had them, so it's not a covid thing anymore. He just never gets asked if he wants to go.

I'm so sorry to hear that

I am very worried that my DS will be excluded from parties in case parents think he 'won't cope' in some way

@AshGirl That's really sad. Hopefully your DS will get some invites and things will be fine. Can you be on standby somewhere close by if they text/call you if he needs some support? Good luck x