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Parenting

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Original poster

At what age do you drop DC at a party and leave?

110 replies

AshGirl · 27/02/2022 16:52

My DS has SEND so it's a different story for us but I'm interested in what age parents of a NT DC would drop and run. Is Reception age a bit too young?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

episcomama · 27/02/2022 20:25

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal

Effing never if you're the helicopter parents at my DC's school - not long back from collecting DS (Y3) from an 8th birthday party at which I was one of only 2 parents who didn't stay. God only knows how they think their little darlings will cope at secondary school.

(We also got an email from the school last week inviting the Y5s on a three day residential. Within seconds there were messages flying back and forth on the WhatsApp group asking if parents could go with them!!!)

Good grief.

RidingMyBike · 27/02/2022 20:31

We haven't left DD yet (6) but there's been hardly any parties for two years so it feels different?

Was also warned by friend in the police who wouldn't leave any of her three kids at a party, play date etc until she knew the parents well as she'd seen too much dodgy stuff going on behind closed doors.

HelloDulling · 27/02/2022 20:35

@itsnotdeep

Depends whether its your PFB or not.

Nope. My first born was happy to be left from Year 1, her younger brother never really got used to it, then Covid came in Year 5, so parties stopped.

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elliejjtiny · 27/02/2022 20:36

I always ask the host what they prefer although when dc4 was in reception and still in nappies I said I needed to stay. Dc1 was going to parties on his own at 4, dc2 went to his first party on his own aged 11. It really depends on lots of things.

HelloDulling · 27/02/2022 20:38

Leaving them in Reception works if they have all been in Nursery together. When mine had Reception parties, there was no way I wanted responsibility for 25 four and five year olds, none of whom knew me or DH, and whose names I didn’t know.

Miriam101 · 27/02/2022 20:40

Our 4yo’s first party in Reception specifically said it was a drop off and she was fine. Since then we’ve assumed we’re doing the same but I’ve felt a bit guilty when I’ve realised most other parents are staying! She’s always been fine with us not being there though

JellybabyGina87 · 27/02/2022 20:44

Depends on the set up of the party. All the parties my kids have been to the parents have stayed apart from one time when it was held in a hall and they had hired a company to run the party. Most of the parties they've been to have been in soft play or trampoline places and I wouldn't leave them there as no one would be watching them if they hurt themselves, the family of the child having the party wouldn't be able to supervise every child in the party. They're also open to the public so anyone could have access to them and they could get out. Parties in houses, you generally leave and pick them up later but again it depends on who's doing the party and whether it feels right to leave them.

BettyOBarley · 27/02/2022 20:46

Must be strange round here then - DD is in Yr3 and it's still 50/50! To be fair though a lot of the party venues are a bit of a drive, so I often stay purely as by the time you left them and came back there would be no point, and we all like a catch up and a coffee, it's not to supervise!
I'd have had no issue with leaving DD from Yr1 though if it was worth going home, no one left them in reception.

Spotsandstars · 27/02/2022 20:49

Yr3 for our school parties generally. Reception is way too young.

Greydogs123 · 27/02/2022 20:51

I’m qualified in childcare and hate having to do small talk, so once they were in yr 1 I put on the invitation that I was happy for children to be left if parents wished. We only have 8 each time, so it was a manageable number and I prefer it.

TrendingNowt · 27/02/2022 20:52

About 8. Perhaps 6 or 7 if they'll be with an older sibling 8+

De88 · 27/02/2022 20:54

Depends where they are. If at a well known friend's house probably 2/3. If it was somewhere secure where they'd always be seen, and there were enough well known, trusted adults and I wasn't needed to stay probably about 4/5.

Quornflakegirl · 27/02/2022 20:55

Whole class parties in a hall I would stay as they are mayhem but those types of parties tend to end around age 7/8. A party at soft play/ bowling etc I would drop and go from age 7.

De88 · 27/02/2022 20:56

If it was somewhere open to the public as well it'd be somewhere big, so probably 7/8 again as long as enough trusted adults around.

Doje · 27/02/2022 20:58

Depends on the type of party.

DS (just turned 6) is still having parties where they invite the whole class. I don't think any parent(s) could manage to watch 30+ kids so I'd stay. Other DS (just turned 8) is having parties with just 6-8 kids. Much more manageable and I'd leave him no problem.

Sally872 · 27/02/2022 20:59

Stayed for the first couple of parties agr 5 then once I knew dd comfortable to stay herself I left her. Always checked with host if OK to stay when I wanted to stay and ok to go when I wanted to go.

For 5 year olds most parties were whole class in a hall with some chairs for parents who wanted to stay. Sometimes a tea or biscuit but parents weren't really catered for.

Svara · 27/02/2022 21:01

Amnotamug · 27/02/2022 21:02

My children are all in their 20s and I can honestly say it was unheard of for parents to stay at parties…it just wasn’t something that anyone even discussed. This was from age 5 .
I would have the grandmas and my husband there as the responsible adults…it was never a problem.

woodhill · 27/02/2022 21:20

@Amnotamug

My children are all in their 20s and I can honestly say it was unheard of for parents to stay at parties…it just wasn’t something that anyone even discussed. This was from age 5 . I would have the grandmas and my husband there as the responsible adults…it was never a problem.

Yes exactly

ApplesinmyPocket · 27/02/2022 21:38

@Amnotamug

My children are all in their 20s and I can honestly say it was unheard of for parents to stay at parties…it just wasn’t something that anyone even discussed. This was from age 5 . I would have the grandmas and my husband there as the responsible adults…it was never a problem.

Ditto. Mine are older than yours so their parties were in the 80s/90s. From 4/5 (reception) you dropped and ran. I think we all reasoned that they go to school without you and these are the children they are at school with so it seemed perfectly normal. I have to say that up to about 8 parties tended to be in people's homes though rather than at a public venue.

I remember one parent staying at DD2's 6th birthday but she was unusual.

MajorCarolDanvers · 27/02/2022 21:42

When they started primary school straight away parents stopped staying at parties.

Age 5

ChocolateMassacre · 27/02/2022 21:44

I think it would depend on the venue, the child and the supervising parents, wouldn't it?

I would never leave a child under around 6/7 at a venue involving free access to water or roads without knowing that a parent I trusted was going to be actively supervising them. It's just not worth the risk. Children do wander off and they don't always look where they're going. Nor would I be happy to leave a young child in a large group somewhere where there was public access and it would be difficult for the host parent to supervise, e.g. large softplay.

If the party was at home or in a contained, easily supervised space, I'd be happy to leave from age 4/5 so long as I thought that it wouldn't be too much trouble for the parents. My DS is usually very good but can occasionally be silly, especially if overexcited, and I wouldn't want to inflict that on a parent trying to run a party.

MadeinSW3 · 27/02/2022 21:47

Age 4! Nursery age. Very confident mine were and enjoyed fun. Let them get on with it play and socialise! Should be activi ties going and food not sure why one would want to stay. In shock at suggestion for 7yr olds.

SpikeySmooth · 27/02/2022 21:47

About 8 years old. DD was very insecure until then.

RedskyThisNight · 27/02/2022 21:48

Some did from age 4.
pretty much everyone from 5
Only odd person didn't at age 6.

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