At what age do you drop DC at a party and leave?

[AshGirl]

My DS has SEND so it's a different story for us but I'm interested in what age parents of a NT DC would drop and run. Is Reception age a bit too young?

My child is year 2 and all the parents stayed at a recent party. Covid has meant not many parties so I think this is why

All depends - venue location, size of party, how well you and your child know the hosts etc.

I've had parents insisting to stay due to their DC needs and I've invited their other child too but these were small at home parties.

6 seems to be the cut off here, even then, some parents stay (I didn’t, I legged it for a quiet coffee, as DD is independent and confident enough)

Year 1 usually. DC1 had a party that year and we insisted kids were dropped off (as a couple of other mums took the piss and used to bring along non-invited siblings).

I wouldn't leave a child unless they were able to communicate their needs effectively and were toilet trained and confident with it.

For me that meant around year one/age 5-6.

@Mummysgonetobed

6 in my experience. Stayed in reception but not year 1.

Same here.

Except for parties in the park where the host brings booze and parents tend to hang about a bit and chat and have a drink

Depends on the child, the type of party and your child's relationship with the party giver. There is no fixed age they go alone

@poppupppirate

I wouldn't leave a child unless they were able to communicate their needs effectively and were toilet trained and confident with it.

For me that meant around year one/age 5-6.

I would also add it depends on the type of party.

At their home I'd be more comfortable. A busy soft play/swimming type place I wouldn't feel comfortable if there were large numbers of children and potentially not fully supervised.
A small day out party I would be ok with (cinema, bowling, cake making workshop type things) as it's easier to watch over a small group.

Depended on the party - if at someone’s home who I know then maybe 5/6 but if public venue then I would stay til about 8 years - whilst staying with my kids I have found a kid wandering around a leisure centre lost after going to loo, wandering out of front door of building or going to the loos by themselves at a bowling alley which was full of adults whilst I have stayed with my kids, not keen on that.

DD went to her first party in Reception, in Pizza Express. She wanted me to leave her so I pootled around the shops nearby and then got a phonecall that she wanted me to come back, so I did.

She had her own party a few months later and only 1 parent stayed, but she's my friend. The next year no parents stayed at all.

Due to lockdowns etc she's only been to a few more since the first, and we haven't stayed at any of them. One was at someone's house, one at soft play, one at a bounce place. She's comfortable being left, now. When we have her next party (she'll be 8), I won't be asking anyone to stay but they can if they want to.

Pre covid we had a soft play party for yr 1. 8/10 parents stayed but that was the norm in our circles and often how the mums got to know each other. It was fine that 2 dropped and rna however those 2 kids played up the most/wanted all the attention etc and we still remember that!

Year 2 some still stayed. Yr 1/2 big hall parties around 80% stayed and often got a coffee but wouldnt expect the food (maybe picked at it afterwards)

Yr 2 gym party probably about half stayed? It was fairly normal unless you had childcare issues and youd ask another mum to "keep an eye".

I'm always surprised on here when people leave at 5. Lots of 5 year olds wont ask if they're upset/need something.

I think 8 plus it was unusual to stay unless you were friends/helping.

Dd has just had her 6th birthday. So some of the kids are 5/6. At her party some stayed some dropped and left. Most of the mums that stayed are the ones I speak to most or sit with at the park after school etc. We just had some water and cans of Coke for the parents and a box of nice biscuits (left over from Christmas).

Dd has been to a few parties, most of them she tells me I can leave, one or two she has asked me to stay.

@itsnotdeep

Depends whether its your PFB or not.

No it doesn't. I couldn't wait to drop and run

I have 2 DC, one in reception and one is yr2. Reception everyone either stays or asks a nominated parent their child is familiar with to look after them, those with siblings who have no alternative childcare have brought them rather than leave their child.

For my DC in year 2, I had about 20% check they were ok to drop and go at his party, everyone else assumed that was the plan. However, I stayed at a party in a big soft play and I think all the other parents did too, no way the host could have kept an eye on the party kids in amongst the general choas.

Well my son who isn’t NT but coped fine with parties was dropped at 5/6 and my daughter who is NT but suffered with anxiety 7/8. So it must surely depend on the child? I had no problem asking parents if I could stay until she was comfortable and no parent ever told me to bugger off. Thankfully she is now at age 8 completely comfortable and can cope with parties. As my son has got older his ability to cope with things has got worse so depending on the party he might struggle 🤷🏻‍♀️ He’s 12 now.

To be honest it never occurred to me to worry about accidents. I don't remember that being something that was a concern, DS1 is 13 now though, so we are going back a bit! He was bloody awful to potty train as well. I wonder why I didn't think about it? Perhaps there were no parties during that part where accidents were more likely.

Perhaps I am out of date compared with what modern parents do.

Effing never if you're the helicopter parents at my DC's school - not long back from collecting DS (Y3) from an 8th birthday party at which I was one of only 2 parents who didn't stay. God only knows how they think their little darlings will cope at secondary school.

(We also got an email from the school last week inviting the Y5s on a three day residential. Within seconds there were messages flying back and forth on the WhatsApp group asking if parents could go with them!!!)

I struggle with the thought of leaving my kids with one/ two parents responsible for how many, 30 of them? I also don't know any of the parents very well so I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving them alone with unknown adults. Maybe it's just me lol

Where I am most parents stay and chat ( year 2) not because we are precious , it’s just the sociable thing to do xx

It depends on the situation and the first mum in my experience. If the first mum drops and leaves, most do the same. If they sit with a cuppa, the others stay. Generally most younger parties I've dropped at people stay if under 7, saying that my youngest is 7 and dropping him off felt very wrong recently, but that's because as a result of covid he hadn't been to a birthday party before aside from one where it was a given parents would stay because they were only three!!

Depends whether its your PFB or not.
Hate the phrase pfb, so judgey!!!

My daughter is 7 and I still don’t leave her

Oh dear.

When mine were growing up it was four

Lots of reception parties and no one left them. I think it’s more 7/8 here but obviously different if you no the other parents well.