Things you wished you knew before having a baby

[DaniLaLaLand]

What is the one thing that nobody told you about having a child, that you wish you knew?

Mine are inducing a baby can take AGES (4 days)
Epidurals are like small operations in themselves and not guaranteed to work
People text constantly just before baby is due to ask stupid questions (have you had the baby yet? Any signs??)

Nothing. Because I think if I'd known the reality, I probably never would have done it.

Newborn babies shouldn't sleep all the time... it can be a sign of a problem. They should be feeding regularly.

Your parenting plans are unlikely to succeed fully and just go with the flow.

There is more than one right way to do things.

Your baby doesn't have to do/ behave/ sleep like what other babies do.

With DD1 I tried SOOOOO hard to get her to sleep in her cot she cried so much. I regret that bitterly. She hated to cot and I should have just accepted it and tell my expectations to Foff.

That they become adults....😂

A very different ball game!

That newborn babies sound like wild animals when they sleep.

That getting to the end of the day with everyone still alive is enough. Everything else is a bonus!

That newborns can fall asleep just before closing their eyes and this leads to their eyes appearing to roll back in their head. Freaked me out SO much the first couple times my son did it.

Breastfeeding is hard and learning a bit about it beforehand will make it less stressful.

That NCT new mums can get super competitive about whose baby is best at feeding, nappies, sleeping and virtuoso violin playing by a 3 month old who speaks 3 languages!

That it’s all a phase…. The bad stuff, but unfortunately the good stuff too!

I came on to say what @Pyri said - everything is a phase - it’s often the mantra in our house with two under two.

But also, it’s ok to take the path of least resistance sometimes. Cosleeping, extra treats, letting them sleep on you, keeping a bottle/dummy until they’re older, breast feeding or bottle feeding or both. Don’t try and force you and baby into a specific box or routine because that’s what everyone else does. It’s ok to take an easier option that makes you both happy

As far as lack of sleep goes, it can be trench warfare, but everyone WILL survive and still love each other (just about).

Most partners/husbands hold a 'Shitty Name Suggestion' license. To be forewarned is to be forearmed.

The sheer volume of b-feeding involved. I couldn’t believe how many hours I spent doing it in the early days.

Birth plans are a total waste of time, breast feeding can be very difficult and maternity leave can be really boring!

You learn that 4 hours is a good nights sleep
Every milestone is bitter sweet
MILs are a nightmare

And the best one

If they won't stop crying either take them outside or put them in water :)

I wish I'd known what to do if breast feeding failed, how long to persevere before switching to formula, how much formula to feed a newborn etc, instead of being rushed into hospital with an underweight baby after 5 days.

That nappy rash can be very stubborn and hard to get rid of 😩

Also, that first births can be quick (4 hour labour here!) And that it's not too bad for everyone (I was soo nervous about birth but pleasantly surprised and didn't find it unbearable pain at all - only needed gas and air, although I know in was lucky!)

You will worry about everything!
You will be proud of every little thing they do!

Stop waiting for everything to 'get better'. Every age has its ups and downs, when you learn to just take each day as it comes and roll with the punches you feel a lot more free. Your child will sleep through eventually for example, don't feel like a failure because your 10 month old/2/3 year old isn't yet, they're all different. Comparison is the thief of joy as they say!

Nothing. Because I think if I'd known the reality, I probably never would have done it.

This

That they have little pauses in breathing, and the startle reflex, scared the hell out of me!
To keep treating my anxiety, i came off medication before i got pregnant and really should have gone back on when i had her, i stressed every time i went out with her on a bus or went to a cafe etc that she'd cry and annoy people, in reality she was a chilled baby and rarely cried so i don't know why i worried so much. I wish i could go back in time and make more of my maternity leave

The baby part is the easy bit ...that toddlers can sleep a lot worse than newborns ( v v true in our case). I didn't even have "easy babies" but 18 months to 3 years was v v full on, found the immobile baby bit a walk in the park ..

Breastfeeding takes a good 3 weeks to establish, bf and formula feeding are v v v different. I bf and definitely saw and still do health benefits but hey sleep so much less than formula fed babies, I don't care what anyone says , it's true. Look at the sleep boards on here , majoriy are bf babies. I am still very pro bf but good to have v realistic expectations.

@Lsquiggles couldn't agree more, my DC's are older now but every age has its challenges