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Parenting

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Original poster

Undecided about no 3 or not.help!!! :)

79 replies

puccaupunderthemistletoe · 01/01/2008 22:01

Dh & I have been discussing about going for a possible dc no 3, we have dd (almost 4) and ds (16 mths).

I hate being pg, and it would prob mean another section (which i loathed) but i can't shake this idea of having another off. Probably both sides of family would be mortified, as both sides are both typical of the 2 kids and thats it, plus of course we have one of each so our family is complete now .

Is it sooooo much harder with 3 than 2? just don't know whether to go for it or not lol. I suppose i am scared too of how much harder life will be.

HELP!! i have done a similar thread to this before but my brain still in turmoil.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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LynetteScavo · 01/01/2008 22:05

If you think about having another baby, you'd probably never do it. I just closed my eyes and jumped, IFSWIM

yelnats · 01/01/2008 22:08

Will watch with interest. Would love a 3rd but like yourself wonder about how much harder life would be - ie bigger car, holidays, would need to move house etc.

McDreamy · 01/01/2008 22:10

We are currently trying for number 3 and it scares me as well as excites me. I get real mixed emotions every month when i find I am not pg, relief mixed with saddness.

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singyswife · 01/01/2008 22:11

HI, will be watching for advise too, would love another one, does that ever go away???

Frizbe · 01/01/2008 22:12

I have an ss which makes us a 3 (without the pain of giving birth to a 3rd ) when I got preggers with dd2 it did mean a bigger car (ouch) you need a villa for hols, as most hotels can only fit 4 in a room once no3 is out of a travel cot.....and no one can gurantee you adjoining rooms As for rooms you can rack em and stack em!
Go for it, big families are great the older ones look after the younger ones mainly, you just need to put your refereeing skills to the test sometimes!

snooks · 01/01/2008 22:13

I'm currently 23 weeks with no.3. I guess you'd better trust your instincts. Since going for no.3 I've had a mc at 9 weeks earlier this year, then with this pregnancy I've had all day nausea/throwing up til 16 weeks (never had ANY with ds1&2) and the sciatica (sp?) is already starting to kick in, I can't get remotely comfy at night, I feel tired, fat and worn out. I could go on....HOWEVER....

to quote someone whose post I read on a similar thread a while ago, we didn't feel "complete" as a family and I've always felt as if there is "someone waiting in the wings". Hope all this makes sense - add the inability to be concise to my list of woes

Maidamess · 01/01/2008 22:14

3 is much harder. But then I'm useless!

singyswife · 01/01/2008 22:16

Hi, we already have the bigger car as we have two dogs and 2 kids who take their bikes everywhere with them. With regards to hotel rooms we caravan (yes good old britsh caravaners). What stops me is we have 2 dd's who fight all the time, when I put them to bed at night in their seperate rooms the silence is wonderful. I dont know about having two sharing (house isnt really big enough to create another room and cant move house). Also my dd2 is very demanding and I dont know how she would cope with a baby. This thread is interesting.

137wallis · 01/01/2008 22:18

I've got 5 and didn't find 3 much harder than 2, yes it is more diffecult to go out and on holiday but thats a couple of times a year, and places are starting to cater for larger families, just one word of warning, my sis decided her family wasn't compleate with 2 so tried for no.3 and ended up having twins!

lovecamping · 01/01/2008 22:19

what exactly are your concerns ladies?

life is in so many ways harder but in as many ways BETTER....

cadelaide · 01/01/2008 22:22

I haven't found 3 terribly hard.
I found the jump from 1 to 2 very hard work but no. 3 is lemon squeezy.

snooks · 01/01/2008 22:25

Let's be honest here, the jump from 2 to 3 can never be as hard as from 0 to 1

lovecamping · 01/01/2008 22:28

i think it also depends on the temperments and personalities of your current children. dd1 i knew would be great, dd2 turned into a really active toddler but by then it was too late so i've had to cope with a hyper toddler and a newborn which was very difficult. now that baby is almost 1 and toddler's language has come on, i'm finding it much much easier.

singyswife · 01/01/2008 22:35

i am very active with my children and I am worried that will have to stop if a baby comes along. a friend of mine has 4 children and she admits that she never actaully has quality time or can really remember her days, she says they just pass in a blur of dealing with children, I would hate for this to happen with my two.

Bounder · 01/01/2008 23:18

It is alot more work, although I expect it depends to a degree on the gender/ parsonality thing - I had three boys with four years and they are very physical wih eachother! As parents you are always outnumbered.
Also costs alot more for hols if you like to do hotels, even just for stopovers or weekends as the maximum no of children is always 2 in your room. Theyre not old enough to be in their own, frankly cant be trusted, so it means that we have to split up.
Still wouldn`t be without him though!

Beauregard · 01/01/2008 23:19

ooh will watch this thread as i am undecided too.

Jacanne · 01/01/2008 23:30

I am undecided too - though that indecision may be irrelevant as DH and I have recently been a bit, ummm, careless

Jacanne · 01/01/2008 23:31

Also the idea of section no 3 is pretty terrifying to me too, we also have the familial disapproval.

sugarplumfairy · 01/01/2008 23:36

Also have 3 and last one was the most laid back baby of them all. Mine are now 14, 11 and 7 so big gaps but not planned that way it just took longer than we thought.
IME no 3 does fit in very well, have a large estate car and big dog as well and already had a 4 bedroom house.
We just felt that we had to have another one, it's hard to describe why, we already had one of each as well!
DD2 is full of character probably because she has to make herself heard among the noise.
It is noisy and never boring and can be a endless round of arguing, extra washing, after school clubs etc but last Friday we all went to the beach with the dog and we had a great time as a fivesome, it just works for us, I never wanted to have 4, and I think if you feel the need then it probably is meant to be.

Original poster

puccaupunderthemistletoe · 02/01/2008 00:14

Oooh got chin wagging with my nan, come back to find all these replies

Our dd is a love, very quiet and enjoys her own company and loves her brother dearly, ds is also very sweet but a climber (a typical boy!) and drives me nuts regularly lol they get on brilliantly the majority of the time , both were dream babies, good sleepers etc.

The other thing that worries me is even less time with each child one on one. Also don't know if anyone else feels this way, but i feel blessed to have 2 happy healthy kids and feel almost like we would be pushing our luck if we have another iykwim.

Shocked to see how many others want to make that jump but are wary lol

OP posts:

Original poster

puccaupunderthemistletoe · 02/01/2008 00:16

I also think, if we don't go for it now, we never will, as the age gap gets bigger etc, plus with ds walking, off bottles, and getting much easier.

OP posts:

sb6699 · 02/01/2008 01:13

I've got 3 (age 9, 3 and 1) and now feel family is "complete" whereas I wasn't sure with just the 2.

Have to admit I do find 3 is hard work always juggling, endless washing, and at times all of them wanting attention at the same time but it is fun and you're far more confident with baby no 3 as you've done it all before.

I've been very lucky - my children are very close and big brother loves spending time with the 2 los which is a godsend.

expatinscotland · 02/01/2008 01:29

hope you find some peace, pucca.

after missed MC with surpise dc3, it's hard to know what might be right for you might not be right for me or others.

i hope you come to a conclusion that brings you peace.

Original poster

puccaupunderthemistletoe · 02/01/2008 12:16

bump

OP posts:

scorpio1 · 02/01/2008 12:19

forget what others may or may not hink.

i you want one, have one.

im pg with db3, our fourth between us. im so chuffed i always wanted alot of children.

It will be a bit harder yes, but not that much.

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