I never take my toddler out

[Wednesday23]

I have an 19 month old daughter and I almost never take her out. I've never taken her to a park or toddler group and I feel so guilty about it. I work and I don't drive so taking her places is really hard. We have fun at home and she's a happy kid but it always eats away at me.

Is there a baby group you or her GPS could start going to? She’s hitting the age that interaction with other kids is good.

Soft play and baby/groups don't exist in other countries OP. I grew up in one where they weren't a thing and I'm a balanced, socially competent adult with lots of friends and good relationships. So is every other person who's never been to a toddler group. I won't be taking my children if I can avoid it, they sound like hell on earth to me.

Your daughter will be fine, I promise you! I'm assuming she'll go to pre-school or normal school when the time comes. She's socialising with extended family. She will be just fine. If she's happy, that's all that matters right now.

[quote MollyPea]**@RedCandyApple* alright, time to take your meds love, what a vindictive nasty hellbtch you are 😂[/quote]
Hilarious. Seems I’m not the only one who needs to “take my meds” “I never take my toddler out” next post “I take my daughter out all the time”

Describing toddler groups as ‘hell on earth’ is pretty offensive to the people, who are more often than not volunteers, running these things so mothers and children have the opportunity to play and socialise at a tiny cost or even free. They are an absolute life line for a lot of people.

@AliceW89

Describing toddler groups as ‘hell on earth’ is pretty offensive to the people, who are more often than not volunteers, running these things so mothers and children have the opportunity to play and socialise at a tiny cost or even free. They are an absolute life line for a lot of people.

Agreed. I moved from abroad when I was pregnant with my first baby. DH worked long hours and commuted so was out of the house from 7am-7pm. I genuinely think I’d have committed suicide without the haven of toddler groups.

Huge dripfeed op. So you do take her out just not to toddler groups

I described soft play as hell. I know, I’ve been there when my DSC were younger and I don’t take toddler DD. Other people love it. That’s great. Just a matter of opinion.

Some people don’t like the idea of toddler groups, maybe they’re introverts. That’s okay. Saying for them a group sounds like hell shouldn’t offend people who run or attend them. We all enjoy different things and can say so.

In fairness the OP does say almost never and I suspect she felt pressurised to say she was doing more due to all the hectoring posts telling her what a terrible mum she is. It is difficult for some people to go to play groups etc and perhaps the OP is nervous of going.
To the OP, I found it challenging to get out there at first but toddler groups can be great. I went with my son to Surestart centres all the time and then volunteered with them until lockdown started. You will meet lots of understanding people and I'm sure they would be helpful to you and your daughter. Hopefully these centres will continue in some shape or form.

Why?? I can’t drive either (dd is now 11) and we always go out. When she was tiny newborn we walked to baby groups and I took her swimming every week from 8 weeks old up until the first lockdown.. we had to walk there and back.. 35 minute walk at least each way through country lanes. We walk to parks or got the bus or train to other places we want to go. We went to baby / toddler groups at least twice a week until she started nursery @3.5 then we only went once a week till she started school.

What a pathetic dripfeed.

You don’t need to drive to visit a park?

You do if the nearest one is miles away 🤷‍♀️ There were no parks in walking distance when my daughter was that age.

We pop to the shops and have a local woodland we walk through,

That's plenty
A wood is natural play ground

If you feel "so guilty" and it "eats away at you", then its not really that difficult to change. Not sure what you want people to say. They might say its fine, you obviously don't think its fine or you wouldn't feel guilty. Just get the buggy out and go.

I'm sorry, but that is terrible. Whats wrong with walking or catching a bus? Your depriving your child of socialising with other toddlers theor age and experiencing the world outside the home. There's no excise for this, a bus ride into town once a week for an hour and 30 at a play group or a walk to a local park is really not a big deal

Don’t feel bad, op. The world you and your child live in sounds very secure and quite idyllic.

So what's your point again ?

@AliceW89

Describing toddler groups as ‘hell on earth’ is pretty offensive to the people, who are more often than not volunteers, running these things so mothers and children have the opportunity to play and socialise at a tiny cost or even free. They are an absolute life line for a lot of people.

Which is why I said ‘to me’. To other people they’re a lifeline, absolutely.

Different people like different things and all that…

Why are people so aggressive on these threads? This isn't AIBU. Can't imagine that the OP will be back in a hurry. If you are still reading OP, please don't feel guilty, you are the person who best knows you and your daughter and I'm sure you will find your way through. Try and see what services your local council offers or maybe your local museum if you have one. Sometimes they have activities for younger children especially over half term. Best wishes

@MissMaple82

I'm sorry, but that is terrible. Whats wrong with walking or catching a bus? Your depriving your child of socialising with other toddlers theor age and experiencing the world outside the home. There's no excise for this, a bus ride into town once a week for an hour and 30 at a play group or a walk to a local park is really not a big deal

I think yo missed the drip feed update

There's plenty of time for soft play when she's older. Trust me. Plenty of time 😭

What about the library. I used to go to the library a lot when my dd was this age. I started taking her to playgroup when she was a baby though. I would've lost my mind otherwise. It's easy to get stuck in staying in though I do realise that.

@RedCandyApple

*RedCandyApple You’ve never taken her to a park? You don’t need to drive to visit a park? Many people don’t drive That depends on where you live.*

I would be really shocked if someone lived somewhere so isolated there wasn’t even a child's playground within walking distance yet didn't drive!

Um ... you know that's normal for lots of people?

When DD was a baby my DP had to drive to work so I didn't have a car, and I certainly couldn't have walked her to a playground - the nearest was further away than her nursery and that was 2.5 miles walk!

I just accepted I needed to keep parks/playgrounds for when we had the car, and otherwise we did other things.

@Ginger1982

Jeezo, what a ridiculously over the top thread title and unclear opening post.

This

@Wednesday23

Oh my god... Of course I've taken her outside. We pop to the shops and have a local woodland we walk through, she goes to her grandparents while I work and plays with her cousin, visits other family and goes to feed the ducks. We sometimes jump in a taxi and go for lunch in town. I've never taken her to a park because there actually isn't a park in walking distance (I also suffer with chronic illness so can't walk an awful lot) plus my in-laws have a mini park in their garden that we use.

I probably should have been more clear but by "I never take her out", I meant mostly toddler groups, soft play etc. She did used to go to a baby group but it was stopped due to COVID just before Christmas.

That' sounds fine to me, thanks for clarifying. I wouldn't have gone to toddler groups but they didn't exist forty years ago. You go to the shops, visit the grandparents. I'm sure your daughter has plenty of fresh air and meets others in her life. It's nice being at home when you're not working.