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Original poster

I never take my toddler out

107 replies

Wednesday23 · 04/02/2022 20:42

I have an 19 month old daughter and I almost never take her out. I've never taken her to a park or toddler group and I feel so guilty about it. I work and I don't drive so taking her places is really hard. We have fun at home and she's a happy kid but it always eats away at me.

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MartinMartinMarti · 04/02/2022 21:24

I find this very sad.

Even if she does activities at a nursery, she will gain so much from learning from you how to socialise and interact with the world.

And you are missing out on much of the joy of having a little one, which is seeing how they start to make sense of the world outside of their immediate comfort zone.

On a practical note, how are you not (both) brain zappingly bored?

CurtainTroubles · 04/02/2022 21:24

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OlivejuiceU2 · 04/02/2022 21:25

I have an 18 month old and is in nursery 3 days a week but we still get out plenty to the park, for walks, soft play, for dinner etc. I feel bad if we don’t go out for a whole day if I’m honest but my LO loves being outside even if it’s 20 mins pottering around the garden.

What’s holding you back?

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Chuchali · 04/02/2022 21:25

Do you have any parks/pools/groups within walking or bus distance on the days you're not working?

What does she do when you're at work?

hivemindneeded · 04/02/2022 21:26

If she is in nursery during the week - or looked after by a childminder, that's probably enough stimulus. But at weekends, why not put aside one half day a weekend to show her the world. Nothing massive. Take her to the park, for a bus or train ride, to feed the ducks if there is a pond or canal nearby, or to look around a pet shop or toy shop. Let her 'help' you with food shopping. You'll have fun together, you'll feel better about yourself as a mum and she'll learn about the world.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 04/02/2022 21:26

Lots of people saying it’s awful but don’t forget OPs DC was born during a lockdown where we were told to stay home or we will either die or kill someone.

OP- I would suggest you give your GP or HV a call on Monday for a chat

swissrollisntswiss · 04/02/2022 21:27

She does need time outside but if she is in nursery and they do that then it’s probably sufficient. DS is the same age and we spend a lot of time out/outside, partly because he is easier to entertain. If DH is looking after him alone then they are always out as he finds playtime at home very tedious. We don’t do anything extravagant, often we just walk up to the park. I also like meeting up with other mums, partly for the social aspect but I also enjoy seeing DS interacting with other children. We also work full time and he is in nursery so we don’t get to see it so much. We’re all different though, if you and DD are happy then I’m sure it’s fine.

20viona · 04/02/2022 21:28

This needs addressing. My 2 year old does 3 days in nursery and we always go out even if it's just for a walk on the other days. Unless there's more to this you are doing them a disservice.

cookiesandcream24 · 04/02/2022 21:29

@RedCandyApple totally agree?! How can you not go out!

I make a plan either the night before in the morning every day for my toddler and it always involves a park or some outdoor time.

Are you anxious about leaving the house with her OP?

Also all these people who rely on nursery to do everything as that's their 'socialising' therefor you don't need to do much on the days you have them Confused I physically cannot imagine this.

Why have kids if you don't want to raise them yourself 😂

RedCandyApple · 04/02/2022 21:29

@OnceuponaRainbow18

Lots of people saying it’s awful but don’t forget OPs DC was born during a lockdown where we were told to stay home or we will either die or kill someone.

OP- I would suggest you give your GP or HV a call on Monday for a chat

You were still allowed out for exercise, so all summer they stayed at home?
RedCandyApple · 04/02/2022 21:30

[quote cookiesandcream24]@RedCandyApple totally agree?! How can you not go out!

I make a plan either the night before in the morning every day for my toddler and it always involves a park or some outdoor time.

Are you anxious about leaving the house with her OP?

Also all these people who rely on nursery to do everything as that's their 'socialising' therefor you don't need to do much on the days you have them Confused I physically cannot imagine this.

Why have kids if you don't want to raise them yourself 😂[/quote]
I’m so confused why people are trying to normalise this, a almost 2 year old has never been taken to a park? Soft play? So they spend all weekend every weekend at home. Confused

Prinnny · 04/02/2022 21:33

Yeah I think YABU tbh. Even in lockdown we went for daily walks, now it’s a daily trip to swimming, playgroup, soft play etc plus a dog walk and I still get asked what we doing now mummy! Don’t get me wrong I love a day at home watching Disney+ and making cakes etc but to NEVER go anywhere is weird AF!

Chocolatetrifle · 04/02/2022 21:33

All you need to do is get outside for a walk, look at the scenery, feed any local ducks etc. Soon she will be getting old enough for a balance bike or scooter. Some nursery settings do not give much outdoors time, especially in this weather and winter months. Easier to keep a baby indoors, a toddler, not so much I find.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 04/02/2022 21:35

@RedCandyApple

Well yes we could go out to exercise but some people were scared shitless and didn’t and now are clearly not in a good place

Ginger1982 · 04/02/2022 21:36

YABU. What does she do when you're working?

mynameiscalypso · 04/02/2022 21:37

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@RedCandyApple

Well yes we could go out to exercise but some people were scared shitless and didn’t and now are clearly not in a good place[/quote]
Exactly. I would gently suggest that someone who hasn't been able to take their toddler out to a park needs support rather than being told that they're a shit parent.

MartinMartinMarti · 04/02/2022 21:42

Those talking about lockdown…. My LO was a newborn when lockdown happened so I understand the issues.

But if this mum is still so affected by it that she’s never taken her kid to a park, she needs serious support.

ladycarlotta · 04/02/2022 21:43

I’m so confused why people are trying to normalise this, a almost 2 year old has never been taken to a park? Soft play? So they spend all weekend every weekend at home. confused

let's just overlook the pandemic we've all been living through for the past 2 years, then, shall we?

My kid didn't go to soft play, swimming lessons, other people's houses, public transport, cafes, etc etc for ages. All the things I'd have loved to do with her. And at least we'd had a year before Covid to be 'normal' before they chained up all the playground equipment. Many many babies have spent their first few years this way: if you're a bit isolated anyway, with a newborn, and then there's a global pandemic, I can understand never learning to do this stuff, because there is no social framework for it.

However, OP, if your child still isn't getting any access to this on their days away from you, it's time to start. This is a really great age for it. I echo PPs who suggest just trying little things - getting a bus, running round in the park, going to the library or the shops. It's just little things but it helps the day pass for both of you and your little one will learn so much. Good luck. Please don't feel guilty.

SMBC2020 · 04/02/2022 21:45

My DD is the same age and I'm impressed that you can tolerate staying at home with her coz mine trashes the house!
Do you have a partner who can drive or someone else who could take you places?
I know that you might be happy at home but I think that your DD needs to be out playing and seeing other things. If you're anxious, put her in the buggy and go for a 10 minute walk and build it up from there.
Good luck!

Wartywart · 04/02/2022 21:45

Just try a little walk from your home with a purpose in mind - "find a red leaf" or "find a beetle", something like that. Take the buggy. Fresh air is really important for both you and your child. Like a pp said, it helps people sleep.

Doesn't have to be a long expedition - even 20 minutes. Just give it a purpose. And don't make excuses about the weather - obviously driving rain isn't great, but cold and windy is fine!

CurtainTroubles · 04/02/2022 21:45

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RedCandyApple · 04/02/2022 21:45

We haven’t had a lockdown for a very very long time, I don’t think that can still be used as an excuse

Hugasauras · 04/02/2022 21:46

What did you do at weekends etc before baby? Surely you didn't stay home all the time?

Hercisback · 04/02/2022 21:46

Play areas in parks did close.

However I went out every day with my kids in lockdown.

Zolla · 04/02/2022 21:47

Never mind your toddler, I’d go insane! My little ones are at school/nursery/grandparents 4 days a week but on my day off, we do a toddler class. I do drive but I choose to get the bus to it & have a bit of a walk each end. My toddler loves the bus! We tend to go to the park on the way home or we meet friends for a play at a softplay somewhere. At the weekends, we go for walks as a family, sometimes go to family members houses, we go to the local parks (& I live reasonably rurally, there are still 3 parks we can walk too!), we go to softplay or swimming (we do drive to them but they are on easy bus routes).. sometimes, we just go to the supermarket. My eldest enjoys getting a list & finding what we need & my youngest loves the trolley or trying to help her sister!