I never take my toddler out

[Wednesday23]

I have an 19 month old daughter and I almost never take her out. I've never taken her to a park or toddler group and I feel so guilty about it. I work and I don't drive so taking her places is really hard. We have fun at home and she's a happy kid but it always eats away at me.

@RedCandyApple

*RedCandyApple You’ve never taken her to a park? You don’t need to drive to visit a park? Many people don’t drive That depends on where you live.*

I would be really shocked if someone lived somewhere so isolated there wasn’t even a child's playground within walking distance yet didn't drive!

Really? Lots of people live in the countryside ( not in villages ) and not everyone drive. And not everyone has a car at their disposal all day! Not Going to a park or soft play really isn't bad parenting. There's plenty to do and discover outdoors in nature/ the woods/ beach/ garden.

I don’t think the issue is working and not driving, that’s the case for many and it would be very, very unusual to be so isolated that you don’t have a play park or a bus stop but can work.

Are you anxious or worried about taking her out? Are you naturally introverted and don’t want to go out yourself?

Everyone is different but going out is so vital, it doesn’t have to be a big deal. Just a walk around where you live looking for different flowers or bugs, it’s also where you can teach road safety, about strangers, self care if the weather changes etc I know she’s young but things like that become second nature and are important to know.

Odd on so many levels.

Oh my god... Of course I've taken her outside. We pop to the shops and have a local woodland we walk through, she goes to her grandparents while I work and plays with her cousin, visits other family and goes to feed the ducks. We sometimes jump in a taxi and go for lunch in town. I've never taken her to a park because there actually isn't a park in walking distance (I also suffer with chronic illness so can't walk an awful lot) plus my in-laws have a mini park in their garden that we use.

I probably should have been more clear but by "I never take her out", I meant mostly toddler groups, soft play etc. She did used to go to a baby group but it was stopped due to COVID just before Christmas.

Really? Lots of people live in the countryside ( not in villages ) and not everyone drive. And not everyone has a car at their disposal all day!
Not Going to a park or soft play really isn't bad parenting. There's plenty to do and discover outdoors in nature/ the woods/ beach/ garden.

Yeh that’s all great only she says she never takes her toddler out, not just that they never go park/ soft play, that she never takes them out and they stay home all the time

X posted with the drip feed 🙄

So you do take her out

Just not to soft play or a group. So? Soft play is hell on Earth for most people, why are you feeling guilty about it?

Are you alright?

@Wednesday23

Oh my god... Of course I've taken her outside. We pop to the shops and have a local woodland we walk through, she goes to her grandparents while I work and plays with her cousin, visits other family and goes to feed the ducks. We sometimes jump in a taxi and go for lunch in town. I've never taken her to a park because there actually isn't a park in walking distance (I also suffer with chronic illness so can't walk an awful lot) plus my in-laws have a mini park in their garden that we use.

I probably should have been more clear but by "I never take her out", I meant mostly toddler groups, soft play etc. She did used to go to a baby group but it was stopped due to COVID just before Christmas.

Oh I really wouldn't worry in that case! The only positive of the pandemic for me was not having to go to any baby groups and so have no intention of ever going to soft play. The days when I'm at home with my toddler are for us to do what we want and hang out together. Let's face it, you're probably your DD's favourite person in the whole world so why wouldn't she want to spend the day with you?

I think you should have said not taken to toddler groups your post gives the complete wrong picture !

This doesn't seem an issue OP. Children don't need to go to soft play, special events or classes generally. Your DC sounds like they're getting enough stimulation from the places they go already!

That was a huge drip feed your thread title is literally “I never take my toddler out” then you go on to list all the places you take her you said you “almost never” take her out, then apparently that’s not true? You said you “have fun at home” when you do take her out and surely grandparents take her to the park? Odd post.

@collieresponder88

I think you should have said not taken to toddler groups your post gives the complete wrong picture !

Exactly, loads of patents don’t do toddler groups, though I suspect the thread was deliberately misleading.

Jeezo, what a ridiculously over the top thread title and unclear opening post.

The second post is the opposite to your first so what was you hoping for here?

There were plenty of days me and my eldest just stayed home we would (shock horror) cuddle on the sofa and watch tv, or he would play on his iPad or whatever while I did housework. I did reluctantly take him to some baby groups, moo music etc and we had a park nearby. I despised soft play but took him the odd time. Lockdown happened when he was 3 so we obviously missed a year then and then he was at school full time. I'd say 60-70% of days we stayed in. And he's fine!! Thriving at school and very intelligent.
Where I live now actually doesn't have a park within walking distance and isn't on a bus route! It has one bus a week that goes to the nearest town which is 15 miles away!

Sounds fine as long as you get out of the house each day. My boy is 18mo and goes to nursery 3 days a week.
We go to a music class and a messy play class on a Monday (will drop one when the weather gets better) and I have Friday free for play dates, walk in the park, playground etc. today we went to a museum.
We live in a small flat so is difficult to entertain him for more than a couple of hours inside. He loves kicking a ball and running around.

@Ginger1982

Jeezo, what a ridiculously over the top thread title and unclear opening post.

This^^

Not going to toddler groups or soft play is fine. Tbh, they don't get much out of soft play at that age ime. Toddler groups maybe more so, but she goes to nursery does she? I'd say she gets more out of that than going to toddler group. It's a non issue

I'm not sure what you feel bad about @Wednesday23 Your posts seem to say:

"I work daughter goes to grandparents, plays with family, they have a big garden, take her to the ducks, we have little walks in the local woodland or hop in the taxi to go into town. Aibu or am I an awful Mom?"

@Wednesday23

Oh my god... Of course I've taken her outside. We pop to the shops and have a local woodland we walk through, she goes to her grandparents while I work and plays with her cousin, visits other family and goes to feed the ducks. We sometimes jump in a taxi and go for lunch in town. I've never taken her to a park because there actually isn't a park in walking distance (I also suffer with chronic illness so can't walk an awful lot) plus my in-laws have a mini park in their garden that we use.

I probably should have been more clear but by "I never take her out", I meant mostly toddler groups, soft play etc. She did used to go to a baby group but it was stopped due to COVID just before Christmas.

Oh, god, that all sounds totally fine! I’ve never taken DD to soft play and I never will, it sounds awful. And we don’t really have money for toddler groups. She’s in nursery 4 days a week and with me on Fridays and she’s so knackered from nursery play she usually asks to stay home and bake, read, potter. At the weekend we go to the park or walks or feed the ducks. She’s perfectly content and it’s never occurred to me to sign her up to classes.

She talks a lot about wanting to do ballet but that’s only because a nursery friend does, and she seems happy enough wearing my dresses and “dancing” at home. I honestly wouldn’t worry about it. She’s got family and fresh air, who needs soft play? Chuck the sofa cushions on the floor if she wants to clamber around.

@Ginger1982

Jeezo, what a ridiculously over the top thread title and unclear opening post.

Yep. I have wasted MINUTES of my life on this threadRaging.

I still think you should be doing a whole lot more. All the activities are based around you. Go somewhere for lunch with a play park nearby? Honestly, you and they don't get this time back. The excitement/the enthusiasm at this age for the things you aren't doing - it's such a shame for her to miss that. I think you should try to make more effort.

Title: I never take my toddler out

Subsequent post: I take my toddler out to a variety of different places

@INeedNewShoes

Title: I never take my toddler out

Subsequent post: I take my toddler out to a variety of different places

That sums it up.

Go somewhere for lunch with a play park nearby? Honestly, you and they don't get this time back. The excitement/the enthusiasm at this age for the things you aren't doing - it's such a shame for her to miss that. I think you should try to make more effort.
Eh, my daughter’s favourite thing is going out for lunch. She thinks it’s the bee’s knees. If she’s given the choice of what she wants to do it’s always, always “Can we go to a CAFÉ”. To me it sounds like OP and her kid are having a love time with things kids would absolutely be enthusiastic about: lunch date with mum, feeding the ducks, going to the woods. These are all highlights for lots of kids, they don’t have to go to toddler sensory or tots tennis or whatever.

Oh my god... Of course I've taken her outside. We pop to the shops and have a local woodland we walk through, she goes to her grandparents while I work and plays with her cousin, visits other family and goes to feed the ducks.

So why start a thread saying you "never take your toddler out" ???

What a ridiculous waste of everyone's time.