My 12 year old DS's behaviour has been terrible for a while now. It's getting to the stage where I wake up on egg shells.
Some of the problems -
Constant backchatting and disrespectful comments. For example barking at me to "hurry up" in the morning.
Constant battles when he doesn't agree with what he's being told to do. He is like a dog with a bone and will just not do what he is told and goes over and over the reasons why he thinks he doesn't have to do it / wants to do something else. He will literally stand in the same room and keep it going. It's so draining.
Not doing what he is told. For eg me and his dad said he cannot go out of school for lunch for the first year at high school. I found out he has been doing this. He just does what he wants and doesn't really care much if he gets found out.
If he gets consequences he will shout that this won't work, that it is just going to misbehave more. He will refuse to hand the phone over and shout.
One issue is that he goes to his dad's 3 days and nights a week and he is well behaved there. He respects his dad, but has no respect for me. They have different rules and routines there, and his nan (who his dad lives with) spoils him. This isn't a recent change though, he's been going there 3 days every week since he was very young and we split up.
Another problem is that I'm on a very low income so there isn't much I can remove as 'consequences'. His phone is about all I can remove. There also isn't much I can give as 'rewards' because I can't afford it.
He says he cannot change his behaviour, cannot help it. Our relationship is becoming fraught and our house tense.
What can I do to turn this around? If anyone has any advice I'd be really grateful?