What are your personal boundaries with your kids? Mine are 6 and 3 and up until maybe a year ago, I felt persistently exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally.
Having grown up in a dysfunctional family where our lives revolved around alcohol, I have made it my mission to create a wonderful childhood for my kids, to the detriment of myself. I realised this when my friend said to me "so you spent your whole childhood coming bottom of the list and you're going to punish yourself by spending your adulthood doing the same.",
It hit me like a ton of bricks when she put it like that.
My 6 year old had constant control of the remote control whenever we were relaxing at home, our weekends used to be spent doing kid orientated stuff all weekend, every weekend, I was around for every bed time, every school run, my clothes were threadbare whilst they swanned around in higher branded high street clothes that looked beautiful. They never stayed anywhere over night and the youngest was still getting in bed with me each night whilst DH was kicked out into the spare bed.
I've since joined the gym, go to a painting group, get my nails done and have had some moles removed. I do feel better, but still find that my kids are so used to being revolved around that they interrupt my adult conversations and both talk incessantly.
Recently, I have imposed a boundary where they're not allowed to tell long stories when I'm cooking or driving. This is after burning myself a few times and also skipping a red light. I really can't concentrate on 2 things at once. My eldest daughter has a stammer and this goes against all the advice we've been given about giving her space and time to talk whenever she wants it and getting down to her level. It was mentality killing me following this "plan" as I was so drained by it. I feel guilty but it has made such a difference to my mental enjoyment famiy life since saying "is this a time to talk or is mummy needing to concentrate right now?" Sometimes she looks sad when I say it, but I just couldn't go on with it. Her younger sister is similar, also developing a stammer, so I've erected the same boundary early on.
I also find that DH isn't so great with boundaries so will allow them to interrupt/ talk at inappropriate times, lets it go, ignores it and then yells at them. I just think that boundaries are so much better than resorting to that.
Last night, DH and I were trying to watch something on TV at 6pm, the DCs had their toys out before bed time, but instead the 6 YO took to yelling and wailing loudly, climbing all over us and jumping around for attention. They're just not used to not having control of what's on TV... it made me think that a boundary needs to be had here.
What boundaries do other parents have?