Tell me you're a tired parent without telling me you're a tired parent

[babysleephelp]

Copied from a Facebook post I saw but the responses were funny so thought I'd ask here!

Today I played "sleeping bunnies" multiple times just for a 10 second rest on the floor where I could close my eyes

Thought how nice it would be to have to spend a few days in hospital to get some rest... something minor like a broken toe hmmm

Waking up to DD stroking my hair and tucking me into her bed, where I'd fallen asleep reading her a story.

I tried to put some chips in the oven and they jumped out of my hand and all over the floor. Then I didn’t quite land the ham on the shelf in the fridge so an entire pack of water thin ham flopped on the floor.

But the worst bit was… I went to reheat my cold coffee in the microwave and there was already a mug of cold coffee in there that I’d microwaved and forgotten

I put my phone and car keys in the fridge when putting milk back. I then got to the appointment 15 mins late because I had been searching for the keys…. 😑

Put dirty dishes in the washing machine instead of the dishwasher.

Had to have an MRI the other week and the 45 minutes inside the machine with constant drilling and banging sounds was the most relaxing part of my day.

@JammyRedRooo when I was in labour having #3 I got induced on the Thursday morning and ended up emergency c section on Saturday morning. Thursday/Friday morning was the most relaxed I’ve been in the last year and a half (ds is now 1)

Threw a muslin in the bin and the nappy in the washing machine. Cue horrendous clean up and rewashing and rewashing the laundry. I did the exact same thing the next day.

Went to sainsbury's and tried to pay by tapping a sanitary towel (unused) over the card reader.

Put a roast chicken back in fridge after seasoning and stuffing instead of the oven. Ended up with a takeaway when I finally realised.

Sprayed deodorant in my hair and dry shampoo under my arms. That was a bad day.

Had an in joke with a client went to call her honey but called her horny instead...

Hallucinations. Actual hallucinations. And I didn’t care.

Went to the supermarket for essentials after a sleepless night when DD was a baby, got out of the shop and couldn't find my keys anywhere, got to the car and I'd left the keys in the ignition and drivers door wide open. Thank god the car was still there when I returned!

Put the fairy liquid in the fridge.
Told the postman “bye, love you” .
Twice made coffee in the machine and left part of the filtering bit out each time. Oh dear god the mess.

@canary1

Fantasises about getting locked in Joe Goldberg’s glass cage ( from YOU) just for a bit of a rest

🤣🤣🤣

Nappy in the washing machine, pyjamas in the bin…. more than once….

Put baby's socks in the nappy bin and her dirty nappy in the wash basket...!! Only when I went to put a load in the washing machine did it click what I'd done...!

Made a coffee. Only I forgot to actually put a cup under the machine before I pressed the button!

I rock... I stand in queues and rock. I wait at the school gates and rock. I brush my teeth and rock. I rock!

I forgot to put my handbrake on... twice in 1 day 🙈

@SantasChestnuts

I rock... I stand in queues and rock. I wait at the school gates and rock. I brush my teeth and rock. I rock!

Me too!

Fantasies of divorce

Stopped at the end of a queue of traffic at some temporary lights that were on red. Except the queue of traffic was actually parked cars and the lights were on green.

@KittenKong

Hallucinations. Actual hallucinations. And I didn’t care.

I've been there after 3 solid days of no sleep. Terrifying x

Fell asleep on bathroom floor at work

Turned on my car ignition and put handbrake down, about to pull away from my parking space when I realised my baby was still strapped to my chest in the sling…

Milk in the kettle, teabags in the ‘fridge, purse in the freezer.

Shirt on inside out, only realised when I saw the label hanging on the outside. Whilst in the queue for coffee. After having been in an all morning meeting. And I had spent a not insignificant amount of time that morning idly pondering where the breast pocket on the shirt had gone and why I was so sure it had one. Patterned shirt too, with spare button still in a little plastic bag hanging off the label. Stylish.

Ds dropped a toy car behind the sofa. I couldn't reach it so asked him to get the salad tongs from the kitchen. Except I forgot the word for tongs and called them kitchen pliers. Somehow he understood.