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Original poster

Am I a lazy mum?

57 replies

goodlucksoonplease · 19/12/2021 12:06

I have a 12 week old. I tried breastfeeding but she wasn't feeding properly at first and I got PND (to the point I was nearly admitted to a mother and baby unit) so I gave up after about 2 days. I keep her in baby grows most of the time, she has loads of clothes but I just feel it's easier and she is comfier in baby grows if we're not seeing anyone. I see all these babies on my mum groups in cute Christmas outfits but my girl just lives in baby grows!
Am I lazy?

OP posts:
happinessischocolate · 19/12/2021 12:10

No you're not.

Babies don't care what they're wearing as long as their warm. Breastfeeding is great, if it works for you and baby, if it doesn't then it's not the right option for you.

I spent the first 3 months of my dds life, in the lounge watching daytime tv with her on my boob. And that was without all the restrictions with covid.

Whatever gets you through the day, we're all just winging it.

FindingMeno · 19/12/2021 12:12

Of course not.
I wonder why I ever put my dc's in anything other than baby grows.

Whysotired · 19/12/2021 12:13

No your not lazy at all. Breastfeeding is so hard. If it didn’t work, then formula is the way to go - don’t beat yourself up over it. Also my DS lived in baby grows for the first 6 months. Babies do not care what they are wearing. As long as baby is feed, clean and safe you doing an amazing job! X

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AliceW89 · 19/12/2021 12:13

My DS lives in sleepsuits and babygrows until ~ 6 months. Newborn was survival mode for me and they were just far easier and practical than ‘outfits’. Nothing wrong with it at all x

ComDummings · 19/12/2021 12:14

No you’re not! You’re sensible Grin I used to put my first baby in outfits. Like joggers and a top. Why did I bother? It was a waste of clothing when he had lovely babygrows which I only used for night time. Bonkers.

MrsSkylerWhite · 19/12/2021 12:16

No, you’re sensible.

Fritilleries · 19/12/2021 12:16

Mine wore baby grows with jumpers and joggers for extra warmth. Nobody gives a shit and if they do? Who cares. Smile

LightDrizzle · 19/12/2021 12:17

No! Well not on the basis of what you’ve written down.

Babies look adorable in baby grows and more importantly they are comfortable and safe. You can layer with a cardigan or coat without them getting ruckled around the middle. Dressing them in outfits is not about the baby’s wants and needs, it’s about parental preference and there’s nothing wrong with that as long as the outfits aren’t uncomfortable, but it really isn’t necessary or intrinsically desirable.
Sorry you had a tough start, you are not alone in that and don’t let it make you second guess yourself at every turn. It’s hard having a new baby.

PinkyU · 19/12/2021 12:18

All my lo’s were in baby grows until they were walking. We had daytime ones and bedtime ones, I was also a sucker for the footed dungaree and vest sets.

We did get some eyebrows but I had run out of all my fucks to give any.

A comfy baby is a happier baby.

WithANameLikeDaniCalifornia · 19/12/2021 12:26

My dc was in baby grows until he was over 1 year old. If your dds clothes are clean and changed regularly there’s nothing wrong with what she’s wearing. People that put their children in these fiddly outfits with buttons up the back etc are just idiots. Don’t believe what you see on social media either.

shabbadababa · 19/12/2021 12:26

No your not.

Me and my children 3,4&9 all sit it out comfy pj's if no-one is visiting. I couldn't think of anything worse than my children sat playing in jeans and a jumper in the house. They love playing in their pjs easier to get to the toilet and to play! If your lazy. I'm lazy haha!

Vicky1989x · 19/12/2021 12:27

My DD spent for the first 8 months in babygrows. She was a champion puker (reflux) so was easier. Grin

ImmutableSexQueen · 19/12/2021 12:27

My HV complained I kept my baby in babygrows and wanted to 'see all her pretty dresses'. So I dressed her up on hv days and clinic days. Personally, I think babygrows are fabulous babywear, probably comfortable and not itchy, so I dressed her that way as often as I could. She wore cardigans over them, lovely soft woollies knitted by her aunt. Perfect. I'd recommend that style of dress to anyone (under about eighteen months old, obviously. Otherwise you'd look a bit Matt Lucas).

Abitlost2 · 19/12/2021 12:28

Lovely , comfy babygrows are so nice for little babies. I loved all mine in them. I actually think a lot of that fussy clothing loiks v uncomfortable tbh, als bands on v bald baby girls look incredibly uncomfortable , hate seeing that

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 19/12/2021 12:29

Drip that mum guilt now.
You're doing great!

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 19/12/2021 12:29

Drop even

BertieBotts · 19/12/2021 12:31

You sound completely normal :)

My 17 week old is still mostly wearing babygrows.

UndertheCedartree · 19/12/2021 12:31

Absolutely not! A 12 week old should be in babygros! I dressed mine occasionally if seeing people but most of the time babygros.

I'm sorry to hear you have had such bad PND. How are you doing now?

Abitlost2 · 19/12/2021 12:31

Mine all walked early and I missed baby grows so much, they are so adorable and comfy for baby!! If there are other areas you are struggling with talk to your gp but dont compare yourself to others op. Two of my babies/toddlers were terrible sleepers and i did compare but it was such a waste of time and energy.

edin16 · 19/12/2021 12:32

You're doing what you need to do to get through, that's all you can do at that state. Why create more work for yourself with having to think about outfits ect.
DS has 18 months old and I still do things to make my life easier. This week I have: lied to him that his pop up tent has gone missing because I can't be arsed putting it up and down. I've only just put him in clothes today, he's been in his dressing gown up till now. And now I'm rocking him to sleep because I can't be arsed with the nap fight and it at least gives me 10 minutes to play on my phone. Oh, and the cat ate his dinner last night while I was leaving it to cool.

And let's face it, Instagram is not what's really going on in their lives. They've probably wrestled their babies into the outfits, taken 5000 rapid pictures to get a single smiling photo then then the baby has probably pooped/vomited/both and they've changed them again.

Crispynoodle · 19/12/2021 12:33

That's an oxymoron! You are not a lazy mum you're doing beautifully and exactly the same as every other mummy! Well done you and congratulations x

dani9031 · 19/12/2021 12:33

I put my baby girl in babygros as like you say it's much easier when changing them and they're more comfortable 😊 I did the same with my first baby too! It also keeps their hands and feet covered too so they're nice and warm. As for the breastfeeding, I agree with others, it's great if you can do it but if not for whatever reason, formula is a perfectly safe alternative. I breastfed my daughter for the first month and had to switch to formula as she wasn't gaining weight as she should've been on breastmilk alone. She's now thriving and a very happy baby. I do understand about the guilt of giving up breastfeeding though, so shush to your health visitor if you need any extra support. You're not a bad mum at all!

driftcompatible · 19/12/2021 12:33

Remember mums on the groups aren't posting pictures of themselves crying and covered in sick and yelling at their partner with unwashed hair and a messy house. People choose their pictures and what to post.

You're doing a great job. Focus on your lane and don't be seduced by Debbie and whatever bollocks she's trying to sell about her life.

Ohdofuckoffcovid · 19/12/2021 12:33

A baby is not a doll or i stagram fodder, you’re baby is comfy! I think bottle feeding is more work than breastfeeding. Keep doing you.

dani9031 · 19/12/2021 12:35

That was meant to say speak to your health visitor, bloody autocorrect!