I’m really struggling with my twelve month old

[Thebackofbeyondandback]

I have a baby, who will be twelve months soon. I am back at work and he is in nursery five days a week. He eats well at nursery, naps vary, he is very popular with the staff (I know they are sort of paid to like him but they do seem genuine in their affection for him.)

A few things concern me though: he is terribly clingy. He wants to be picked up all the time but then doesn’t want to just cuddle, he wants to be put down, then picked up again. I’m struggling to get anything done.

I just can’t get him to nap any more. He just refuses. Any naps he has with me now are accidental and usually in the car.

Getting him to sleep at night is awful and it’s usually gone 9 when he goes down. He then wakes between 11 and 12 and refuses to go back in his cot, so he ends up in bed with me or his dad. But then we don’t sleep. He often seems to cry for no apparent reason at all.

I’m just a bit concerned about the extreme clinginess and the lack of sleep.

This is the prime age for separation anxiety and the clinginess and poor sleep are prime symptoms of it. It is a hard stage to go through for all of you but it does pass eventually. Does he have something of yours in his cot at night time?

He does but it makes no difference - he just wants to be held. It’s so difficult!

When does it get better? He’s always been poor at going back down once awake at night but he used to wake at around 2 so you could get a decent chunk of sleep first. Now I’ve only been in bed a couple of hours before he wakes.