Those of you who insist on anatomically correctly named body parts...

[canihaveacoffeeplease]

Do you insist on your children calling their bum their anus too?

'Don't forget to wipe your anus darling'

'Sweetie, did you flush and wipe your anus?'

If not why not? Just wondering

No Bum or Anus in our house when it comes to wiping.
It is strictly intergluteal cleft.

@crosbystillsandmash

Please don't turn something so important into a 'laugh' or an excuse to mock others.

Using the correct terminology is a vital tool in protecting children from abuse.

Please educate yourself.

The OP sounds like one of those people who can't help herself sneering at people who are better educated than herself. There's a lot of it around, sadly.

She is probably also envious of people who didn't grow up with tons of hangups about body parts.

But (almost literally) not knowing your arse from your elbow isn't something to feel proud of yourself for, OP.

But would you call the elbow the cubitus - that's the correct term

Or say umbilicus rather than navel

The issue here seems to be with those who use weird nicknames only ('cookie' or indeed anything else that is eaten being particularly grim) and who teach those only.

It's not either/or.

Most people use both, to suit the circumstances. DC are well capable of the same.

And agree that the real issue is that there is no female equivalent to 'willy' (not the actual body part, of course, but a standard term for it)

My 2yo uses vulva. For her own protection. I sit through child protection training.

If she can tell you that someone touched her vulva, there's no confusion over what was touched.

@Vapeyvapevape

Willy is a nickname for a penis but just about everyone knows what it is .If a boy says ‘someone touched my willy’ it would be taken seriously. Why haven’t we got a nickname for female parts that everyone knows means vulva/ vagina ?

@vapeyvapevape We do - fanny.

@RedHelenB both are important.

Do you know what and where is anus is? You don’t just wipe your anus, you will your whole bum.

The other thread you refer to is women calling the vulva the vagina. People not knowing the difference.

I think this thread establishes that people need to be better educated.

@scaevola we were taught umbilicus by my mum (because she had a weird dislike of tummy button). I couldn’t say it (naturally, as a toddler) so shortened it to ‘bis’- which no one else understood. Naval would have been fine!

Incidentally it’s vulva, bottom, anus, Willy and penis with my kids. And tummy button.

Can someone explain to me what exactly the problem is with the word vulva? BTW saying vagina isn't describing the vulva, is it?

There have been cases where children have tried to describe abuse and not been listened to, or the case has been lost because of children only knowing twee nicknames which make no actual sense.

I’d love to see actual citations of this rather than vague, 3rd hand anecdotes that get punted every time this discussion comes up. I’ve been a child protection social worker for many years and can’t think of an investigation hampered by a child calling their vulva a nickname - and even if they do use the words, we still need to check what they mean to the child.

The biggest barrier to disclosing abuse is adults not listening to children, being dismissive of their concerns and making assumptions. Children should be able to disclose in whatever way they feel comfortable, confident that the adults around them will carefully listen.

The reason people cringe at young children using the word "vulva" is it's not simply an anatomical term, it's the latin name. It's like a 3 year old yelling "ow! I've bumped my patella".

We use every day english words for other parts of our body, so it sounds forced teaching children very formal latin terms.

@miltonj

Not being goady like at all, but I've never understood how using anatomically correct names for genitals protect children from sexual abuse. Could somebody explain please? I understand the argument of it makes it easier to explain if they itch or are in pain but I don't understand the abuse element.

We had a really interesting and disturbing session at my kids nursery…story went like this…

Young child comes into nursery every day telling the staff her daddy puts pennies in her purse. Staff were falling over themselves to tell her what a good girl she must be to get pennies and she’s very lucky. This continues for months/years. Someone eventually asked ‘where do you keep this purse, it must be full up by now’. You can imagine the rest.

Staff were traumatised and felt guilty that they spent so long positively reinforcing abuse with this child (albeit unknowingly).

The session went on to explain that if there was a commonality on the terms we use for genitals, staff might have been able to understand quicker through conversation.

I don’t think it’s about being anatomically correct, it’s about consistency as we all use varying words.

Right there's a difference between using the term "vagina" to refer to everything in that region and calling your genitalia Mrs floomfyshmoomfykittenwotsit

I'm all for teaching kids the right terms for things to protect them from abuse but this is different from some twat on mumsnet going "oh you wash your VAGINA do you?! How do you get the sponge up there?!"

Best not say Et cetera then as that is Latin.

@vapeyvapevape We do - fanny.

Except that fanny means bottom in the US.

A child mentions every day about daddy putting pennies in her purse?
Nobody picks up on that being rather strange?
I would find it an odd topic of conversation for a pre school child.

I think you need a refresh on anatomy OP

Will and bum here.Everyone knows that willy means penis.

@DeepaBeesKit I think the reason people cringe is that we’ve been taught it’s a shameful word and that women have never been allowed to openly talk about their genitalia, instead there’s been hundreds of stupid euphemisms for it to try and disguise what it is and what it actually does… this really needs addressing.

My son knows all the correct names for body parts, but we say "have you wiped your bottom". I don't see that as an issue

@CatonMat

A child mentions every day about daddy putting pennies in her purse? Nobody picks up on that being rather strange? I would find it an odd topic of conversation for a pre school child.

My little girl always asks her dad for coins to put in her purse... she loves coins and has named her new teddy Coins.

I don't know why she'd say coins in her purse if she was being abused, even if she'd been taught her vagina/vulva was called a purse.

@Jellycatspyjamas

There have been cases where children have tried to describe abuse and not been listened to, or the case has been lost because of children only knowing twee nicknames which make no actual sense.

I’d love to see actual citations of this rather than vague, 3rd hand anecdotes that get punted every time this discussion comes up. I’ve been a child protection social worker for many years and can’t think of an investigation hampered by a child calling their vulva a nickname - and even if they do use the words, we still need to check what they mean to the child.

The biggest barrier to disclosing abuse is adults not listening to children, being dismissive of their concerns and making assumptions. Children should be able to disclose in whatever way they feel comfortable, confident that the adults around them will carefully listen.

I would have thought that by the time a child protection services become involved, it is clear that the child is reporting abuse.

What most people are talking about is that first conversation, maybe with a teacher or a friend, that can trigger concerns being raised. If the person having that conversation thinks the child is talking about an actual cookie for example, it may never get as far as a social worker.

We use 'fanny' with our 2 year old but that will most likely change as she gets older and more verbal.

I thought this was the equivalent of 'willy' and I'm fairly certain if she said to an adult 'uncle licked my fanny' then that would be pretty obvious. We're in the UK, not the US.

I'm assuming this is "inspired" by the other thread
Where the OP didn't know the difference between the vulva and the vagina?
Yes the distinction is important.

@canihaveacoffeeplease

Do you insist on your children calling their bum their anus too?

'Don't forget to wipe your anus darling'

'Sweetie, did you flush and wipe your anus?'

If not why not? Just wondering

How does one flush ones anus?