Those of you who insist on anatomically correctly named body parts...

[canihaveacoffeeplease]

Do you insist on your children calling their bum their anus too?

'Don't forget to wipe your anus darling'

'Sweetie, did you flush and wipe your anus?'

If not why not? Just wondering

Willy is a nickname for a penis but just about everyone knows what it is .If a boy says ‘someone touched my willy’ it would be taken seriously. Why haven’t we got a nickname for female parts that everyone knows means vulva/ vagina ?

I really don't understand why grown women feel uncomfortable using the word "vulva". It's just a word.

[quote TiredOfThisShiz]@miltonj

I also read something written by a social worker, she explained that a 6 year old girl was telling her teacher that her uncle was touching her 'cookie'. The teacher didn't understand for days until the penny dropped.

OP, I think you're a bit of a dick actually
It's not in fashion to teach your children the correct names for body parts. It's about your children being informed, what's wrong with that?[/quote]
I agree. Why should it bother someone that people are trying to help their children communicate when they're being abused? Yes you can think words are cringe but why on earth would you disagree with its purpose? And if you don't disagree with its purpose, what's the bloody problem? If it stops more children suffering more abuse, then I'll happily accept all the cringe words I find uncomfortable as my discomfort is nowhere near as important.

You can use a nickname if you want, there’s nothing wrong with kids knowing the correct terms either. Use both.

It's not really the kind of thing that needs to be an 'us vs them - only on MN' issue, is it?

We don't need any gotcha moments when it comes to educating children about their bodies.

I would always use a normal nickname and also make sure the proper name is also known.

DC really aren't so limited that they cannot cope with synonyms, even from an early age. This isn't an either/or issue; DC will pick up both, just like they do for everything that has either a nickname or alternate names

)Do remember the NSPCC campaign about 'it doesn't matter what you call it, you can still speak up' when thinking about the role of the naming of parts and disclosures of abuse).

@Vapeyvapevape

Willy is a nickname for a penis but just about everyone knows what it is .If a boy says ‘someone touched my willy’ it would be taken seriously. Why haven’t we got a nickname for female parts that everyone knows means vulva/ vagina ?

Yes, there definitely a lexical gap.

People are uncomfortable saying vulva because they've been brought up to think it's a term not to be referred to, is shameful etc. It's just a word. The more people use it the less embarrassed other people will be using it or hearing it.

I don’t use correct terminology with my kids. I think it’s just important they have words the majority of others understand.

I have taught my ds what the anus is as part of the bottom wiping process yes, but the word "anus" doesn't actually describe the whole bottom does it? So your example doesn't really hold up.
What I'd say in general is that using the correct names is to give children the tools to speak up in cases of abuse.
Do using commonly accepted words like bum and Willy I think are fine. The issue really starts when people insist on coy, silly nicknames like rabbit, flower or mimi.
There have been cases where children have tried to describe abuse and not been listened to, or the case has been lost because of children only knowing twee nicknames which make no actual sense.

No - it’s bum or anus, depending on the situation and as appropriate I teach our toddler the correct words because I don’t want her to feel shame or taboo about her privates. In my family they were never talked about unless totally necessary and it that case, a nickname was used. I want my daughter to grow up a confident woman who is not ignorant or terrified of her own body

bum and bottom arent words that could be mistaken for something else.

I use the word anus all the time. Mine got torn during childbirth and I’ve used the word so many times it doesn’t feel weird. Same with vulva and vagina and penis. If you practise saying these words with your kids the weirdness will go away OP. Lose the shame!

With learning disabilities, they teach 'vagina' and 'penis'. When I asked about why, they said that any police officer/social worker would know that those words mean something very bad may have happened, but the young people don't have to worry about knowing technical terms which might otherwise stop them from reporting. SS/police are skilled at investigating the details later, but the key is that the report is made by the victim.

I'm afraid I don't see how using anatomical words actually protect against abuse.
They certainly would make it much easier to describe clearly, but they aren't some kind of magical shield.

Using correct terminology does not stop a child being abused.

It only gives them the language to very specifically describe what's happened to them after it's happened.

My DS7 came home from school last week a bit upset. I asked him what was wrong, and he replied that another child had "punched him in the intestines".

I found it much more amusing than I should have done as expected him to say tummy, or belly, but I was proud of him for not saying stomach as he knows where that is, whereas he was punched further down around his naval. I suspect he's ASD though so I wouldn't expect most 7 year olds to say that ...

@CatonMat

I'm afraid I don't see how using anatomical words actually protect against abuse. They certainly would make it much easier to describe clearly, but they aren't some kind of magical shield.

They're not but if a child is raised using the correct names and is able to do so confidently and without embarrassment then the hope is that they have the language and the confidence to quickly describe what has happened. It's a tool worth using, but not magic, no.

Ooh, OP, did you feel really pleased with yourself when you’d written your post? Like you’d said something reeeeeeaaaaaally clever that no one had ever said before?

@MadameGazellee

Yuck I hate this! Seeing people insist on writing vulva makes me cringe.

Why? It's just the correct term for it.

Does elbow make you cringe? Wrist?

I suggest you examine your own internalised feelings about certain body parts.

On another note, I taught year 7 science for years before I retrained. It was quite shocking how few children didn't know the names of basic body parts, or would be sniggering and laughing when the correct terms were mentioned. I totally agree that it's a safeguarding issue and parents need to make children aware of the correct names of at least their own anatomy. We don't have a problem using arms and legs, so why vulva and penis?

Willy is a nickname for a penis but just about everyone knows what it is .If a boy says ‘someone touched my willy’ it would be taken seriously. Why haven’t we got a nickname for female parts that everyone knows means vulva/ vagina ?

Because women and girls are subtly taught from an early age to feel much more shame and embarrassment about their bodies than boys and men. The language divide is a good example.

@Starfish1021

Jesus you do know why people ‘insist’ on correctly naming body parts? To protect them from abuse. It’s not some ‘fad’ as you seem to be suggesting.

That does not protect them from abuse, it's really not that simple. if you think A child knowing the anatomical names in itself means nothing, empowering them to tell an adult and to listen when they talk to you is way more important.

From a safeguarding perspective, it’s obviously necessary to use the correct words like pp have given examples for but in my opinion, vagina is fine, I won’t be telling my daughter to wipe her vulva.

It's the body confidence, and ensuring that a child knows which parts are private that needs instilling into them.