Is co sleeping with a newborn a huge no?

[OtterAndDog]

Basically that ^

Get a Next2Me cot. My eldest slept between me and the cot- the cot gave peace of mind she wasn't going to fall out of bed. My youngest went in the cot and it was just like sleeping next to him but gave me more freedom to sleep how I like.

No, it's absolutely vital in my opinion

@NotMyselfWithoutCoffee

I'm sorry I've heard too many bad stories about sids and cosleeping so I would say no. Bound to be people disagreeing with me, but thinking of a tiny baby sandwiched between 2 parents for a start.. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. I wouldn't be willing to take the risk even with all the precautions.

Well they aren't supposed to be between 2 parents, only next to one. Maybe that's why you've heard bad stories

@bridepanic

Fascinated by this - why can’t you co-sleep and formula feed? Also, do you have a duvet on the bed when you do this, or are you very cold? I feel like I couldn’t sleep without a duvet.

I did. I couldn't breastfeed but also wasn't willing to leave my newborn to scream for hours. I just had the duvet up to my waist and layered long sleeved tops on. When you're that tired though you can sleep anywhere in anything

@Xiomara22

You don’t need to breastfeed to cosleep. It’s wonderful and great for bonding

I agree. I became a very light sleeper when I became a mum, having been a deep one before. I don't see how breastfeeding could've made me a lighter sleeper, the slightest movement or noise from him and I would wake. We'd sleep in the C position and then sit up to formula feed. It worked well

@bridepanic

Fascinated by this - why can’t you co-sleep and formula feed? Also, do you have a duvet on the bed when you do this, or are you very cold? I feel like I couldn’t sleep without a duvet.

You can co-sleep and formula feed it's just not as safe. FF babies are already at higher risk of SIDS, you can't bottle feed lying down so you increase the risk of falling asleep sitting in bed and the baby rolling somewhere unsafe, and the breastfeeding mother's hormones mean she sleep less deeply and sleep patterns sync up with the baby.

I did have a duvet but I tucked the end of it under the end of the mattress so it came up to waist height and I couldn't accidentally pull it up over the baby.

@bridepanic

Fascinated by this - why can’t you co-sleep and formula feed? Also, do you have a duvet on the bed when you do this, or are you very cold? I feel like I couldn’t sleep without a duvet.

Dressing gowns. Wonderful things. Duvet to waist and a thick, fleecy dressing gown.

I co slept with all of mine for the first few weeks.

I co-slept with all three of mine, happy memories ❤️

It's a definite no from me. Each to their own but I was nervous enough as it was!!! We had a moses basket and then a next 2 me. When DS was tiny the next 2 me was too big for him and he didn't settle, so the moses basket was ideal.

You definitley should not co-sleep if formula feeding. Formula fed babies are already at a higher risk of sids even without co-sleeping. Breastfed babies sleep a lot lighter in general and are more alert. Formula fed babies loose a reflect called natural arousal as they generally sleep much more deeply than bf babies.

Because a bf mum is making milk their bodies often wake them up even before the baby does; let down etc so it's a lot safer.

@Abitlost2

You definitley should not co-sleep if formula feeding. Formula fed babies are already at a higher risk of sids even without co-sleeping. Breastfed babies sleep a lot lighter in general and are more alert. Formula fed babies loose a reflect called natural arousal as they generally sleep much more deeply than bf babies.

Theres really no clear evidence that formula fed babies sleep more deeply/ are more difficult to reuse. There are studies that seem to suggest it and studies that suggest theres no link. And its always funny how when it comes to co-sleeping this is always asserted, but any other time its suggested that formula makes babies sleep more deeply/ wake less the suggestion is totally shot down by breastfeeding advocates.

Like I said before, I had pnd triggered by inability to breastfeed. I got very fixated on the increased sids risk and honestly I went to quite a dark place with it all, I really don't want to cosleep because of it but it really was the only way for us - it was cosleep or let baby scream for hours and I wasnt prepared for the latter.

Despite not being a magical unicorn breastfeeding mum, I found i slept incredibly lightly anyway and invariably woke up seconds before DD did, 14 months later I still do.

Ultimately there really is a need for more research/evidence about formula feeding and co-sleeping, though I'm not sure it will ever be done because of ethics. A big part of why its safer when you're breastfeeding is because of the position you adopt, and that's something I found I did naturally anyway (though probably because I'd read the lullaby trust info prior).

It's also worth saying again that the lullaby trust doesn't say you have to breastfeed to cosleep.

I'm not encouraging anyone else who is formula feeding to breastfeed, it really is a personal choice and it needs to be an informed one. But I do think the risk of giving a blanket 'no you can't do it if you're not breastfeeding, just no' makes it so much more likely that formula feeding mums won't bother reading how to do it safely and then end up, through exhaustion or desperation, doing it unsafely.

*rouse obviously, you definitely shouldn't reuse babies