Is co sleeping with a newborn a huge no?

[OtterAndDog]

Basically that ^

Nope

My DH comes from a country where co-sleeping from birth is the cultural norm.
I’ve done it with all 3 of mine from the day they were born.
Follow the safe sleep 7, and statistically speaking, it has very similar outcomes to babies sleeping in a separate sleep space.

Nope. I did it. It is wonderful. Good for both mum and baby and evidence from Japan suggests it reduces the risk of SIDS. Make sure you do it safely- there's plenty of advice including here www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping/. Don't smoke, drink, drug and it works best if mum is breastfeeding. Enjoy every cuddle

@SlamLikeAGuitar

My DH comes from a country where co-sleeping from birth is the cultural norm. I’ve done it with all 3 of mine from the day they were born. Follow the safe sleep 7, and statistically speaking, it has very similar outcomes to babies sleeping in a separate sleep space.

That's reassuring to hear. I'm pregnant and will be first time mum so not sure what to expect, but I just can't picture being able to settle them properly in a cot. Plus being selfish, I want to be as close to them as poss!

@Igmum

Nope. I did it. It is wonderful. Good for both mum and baby and evidence from Japan suggests it reduces the risk of SIDS. Make sure you do it safely- there's plenty of advice including here www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping/. Don't smoke, drink, drug and it works best if mum is breastfeeding. Enjoy every cuddle

I will look up the Japanese study! Thank you that is really helpful xx

I have co-slept with all 3 of mine. It was wonderful.

No. I’d go so far as to say that it should be the norm, with a ‘baby moon’ of at least a couple of weeks in bed together in peace.

I did it with twins- one at a time and a co sleeper next to the bed at the same height as the bed was a life saver

As long as you’re following the safe sleep rules it’s fine.

That means:

You’re breastfeeding
You & your partner don’t smoke
You won’t bedshare after drinking or taking drugs
No pillows or blankets anywhere near the baby
Your baby isn’t premature or of low birth weight
There’s nowhere for the baby to get trapped between mattress and headboard / mattress and wall etc
No pets on the bed

Get the book, 'Sweet Sleep'. I has really bad poat natal anxiety and didn't allow myself to the point of hallucinations because I was so scared of SIDS and something happening to my baby. This book and co-sleeping helped me more than anything!

It’s perfectly normal. Your baby needs to be full term and you should only cosleep if you’re breastfeeding. I wish I’d done if from birth but I had a EMCS and couldn’t lie on my side. Started cosleeping properly when the 4 month sleep regression hit and it saved my sanity, my relationship with my daughter and my marriage

Babies want to be close to you. Look into the benefits, they’re amazing.

Thank you for your replies ladies.
Those of who you co-slept with your newborn - did you also share a bed with your partner? If so, where did baby go - in between you both?

@Jerryandtom

Get the book, 'Sweet Sleep'. I has really bad poat natal anxiety and didn't allow myself to the point of hallucinations because I was so scared of SIDS and something happening to my baby. This book and co-sleeping helped me more than anything!

Brill thanks for the recommendation xx

@OtterAndDog

Thank you for your replies ladies. Those of who you co-slept with your newborn - did you also share a bed with your partner? If so, where did baby go - in between you both?

Baby can only sleep next to the person breastfeeding it.

Your partner will sleep too deeply and be a risk for rolling on the baby.

Either you have baby just on your side (but make sure the baby can't get trapped between bed and wall) or preferably your partner sleeps elsewhere.

I'm sorry I've heard too many bad stories about sids and cosleeping so I would say no.
Bound to be people disagreeing with me, but thinking of a tiny baby sandwiched between 2 parents for a start.. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I wouldn't be willing to take the risk even with all the precautions.

Baby sleeps on your side, not between you and your partner.

@OtterAndDog

Thank you for your replies ladies. Those of who you co-slept with your newborn - did you also share a bed with your partner? If so, where did baby go - in between you both?

I co slept with breastfeeding DD DH in another bed Didn’t drink alcohol, kept her free from walls, over top of duvet etc Followed guidance all the time and learnt to feed lying down

@NotMyselfWithoutCoffee for a start.....the baby doesn't go between the parents, they sleep on the side of the breastfeeding mother.

DS2 would only cosleep, we had a next2me set up, no chance of him sleeping in there, it got me the most sleep as I dozed while he fed.

He's 16 months now though, and was poorly the other night and would he hell sleep in our bed, he was pointing at his own cot in his own room - I may or may not have ended up climbing in there with him for him to settle hah!

[quote QforCucumber]@NotMyselfWithoutCoffee for a start.....the baby doesn't go between the parents, they sleep on the side of the breastfeeding mother.

DS2 would only cosleep, we had a next2me set up, no chance of him sleeping in there, it got me the most sleep as I dozed while he fed.

He's 16 months now though, and was poorly the other night and would he hell sleep in our bed, he was pointing at his own cot in his own room - I may or may not have ended up climbing in there with him for him to settle hah![/quote]
Ooh so he's decided he likes his own cot by himself? I did wonder at what age do they decide that they don't want to be in your bed anymore

I had a drop side cot against the bed so it went cot-our bed-baby on my arm-me-dh

The cot meant I could use all the way to the edge of the mattress if you see what I mean. Also handy for storage! Baby slept on my arm and I somehow always knew where she was, even when I was asleep.

I've done it several times with my baby. If you follow the guidelines it's absolutely lovely.

Word of warning, make sure you've got a pillow behind your back - I didn't do that and had the worst back ache of my life after a few nights!

I Co slept with our first and also with our second now who is 4 weeks. We have since birth. He sleeps where my pillow would be, I am down the bed and diagonal and DP is over on his side. There’s no chance of pillows/quilts getting to him that way, when he cries I wake feed him DP changes him and we go back to sleep for another 2-4 hours.

90% of all SIDS deaths when co sleeping could have been eradicated by the parents not taking drugs or alcohol.

I looked into the figures and a baby is 6 times more likely to die from cancer by the age of 1 than if it co slept with a parent (not drinking or taking drugs). Yet.. I never hear parents worry about that keeping them awake for hours on end.

Nope. I found it reassuring and it felt safer (when done safely).
Mine was a v heavy sleeping newborn, 10 hours a night after a couple of weeks. I coslept and a few times i woke suddenly and found him really really deeply asleep and breathing infrequently and stroked his cheek until he was in a bit of a lighter sleep and breathing more regularly. It felt safer being so close and aware of things like that.

The top of my pram had a small
Crib on it like the bed bit

I would take that too bed with me whilst she was tiny just incase

Then she got in bed with me when she was bigger

Still there.... she's 4
But we are so so close

But I lost
My husband through it as our intamacy died and I'd rather sleep with her.

I've since moved on and met someone else when she was three and I still have
To sleep in her bed most of the night.

Not great for relationships

I co-slept while breastfeeding (until DS was around 16 months and self weened), I didn't initially plan to but my DS fed so often that I just wasn't getting enough sleep.

As soon as I started co-sleeping he barely woke me and the situation all around was so much better.

OH wasn't comfortable sleeping in the same bed as he was worried he'd roll into me and inadvertently roll us off the bed, so we did move to a comfy single mattress on the floor (which put my mind at ease in case DS rolled onto the floor from a higher bed).

As long as you don't drink, smoke, and sleep in the right sort of position I really don't think there is a problem. I would say switch sides though, I would sometimes wake up very uneven if he only drank from one side that night.

Do your research and you'll be fine.