Who has legal right to name baby?

[gamechanging]

My husband and I are going through a difficult patch that might end in divorce (he has been emotionally and financially abusive). Our second baby is due in a couple of month's time and I have a name that I love! I remember from naming our first baby, he pretty much dictated what it would be.

Anyway, with this one I am determined to not let that happen again, and after everything he has put us both through (I know how stress can affect a foetus), I don't think he should get a say. I can't find anything online on who gets the ultimate say on naming a baby, when a couple are married (if they aren't married, it's the mother).

Anyone have any ideas?

I think it would be whoever gets to the births registry first? You will get the form with the number to call when you get discharged from hospital (or I did anyway) so could you make yourself an appointment ASAP? Not that easy though if you have a c section. Some hospitals also can register births though, maybe see if your hospital can do that?

I think when you are married, either parent can register the birth (and so the official name). So you would need to ensure you do the registration.

I think it's equal rights when you are married.
However I'm sure hospital give you papers that need to go to the registrar. They will be given to you as the patient. So make sure he doesn't register the baby without you or more to the point go on your own or with a trusted friend.

Sat country are you?

@ChristmasPlanning

Sat country are you?

Woops

What country are you in?

Make sure he doesn’t get his hands on any papers the hospital provides you with that prove the birth of your child.

You know he doesn’t have to be at the hospital at all either for the birth or afterwards.
Tell the hospital not to allow him in.

Unless you can register the birth at the hospital or you're not going to tell him when the baby is born you might struggle to stop him registering the baby first.

I would speak to your midwife, in some areas the registrar might ask for some proof of the birth, like the red book or NHS number, your midwife might know the local protocol and will definitely know if you can register at the hospital.

I am a registrar in SE England. We receive electronic birth notifications from the local health authority for all births and stillbirths in our registration area, these are matched with the birth entry at the time of registration. We don’t have to check any discharge paperwork or other evidence of the birth to to complete the registration (however it can be helpful in some circumstances). In your situation, if the father had an appointment first to register we would just do it as he has equal parental rights and responsibilities because he is be married to the mother.

Choose your battles wisely. If he wants to name your daughter Fanny or See-You-Next-Tuesday then you really should make sure he doesn’t register the birth. But if his preferred name is something that probably won’t traumatise her then just go along with it.

@Petrov

Choose your battles wisely. If he wants to name your daughter Fanny or See-You-Next-Tuesday then you really should make sure he doesn’t register the birth. But if his preferred name is something that probably won’t traumatise her then just go along with it.

Why should she go alone with it?

@Aspergirl77

I am a registrar in SE England. We receive electronic birth notifications from the local health authority for all births and stillbirths in our registration area, these are matched with the birth entry at the time of registration. We don’t have to check any discharge paperwork or other evidence of the birth to to complete the registration (however it can be helpful in some circumstances). In your situation, if the father had an appointment first to register we would just do it as he has equal parental rights and responsibilities because he is be married to the mother.

What would happen if she accidentally texted the Husband the wrong date?

Maybe he should have learned to pick his battles wiser or he wouldn’t be going trough divorce now. The OP says she was practically bullied into accepting the name he choose for their first child and now she has to reign in again ? No way

But if his preferred name is something that probably won’t traumatise her then just go along with it.

What! Why should she 'just go along with it'? Why can't her husband just go along with whatever she wants to call the baby?

When I was in hospital after the birth of my first one mum went hysterical and her husband had to be ordered off the ward. He'd registered the birth with a name she hated, I think it was Alfie or Archie and very very unpopular in the 1970s. I think she said it was his grandfather's name. I've often wondered if she ever forgave him so it must have made a big impression on me at the time.

So if you are married I think it is just who gets their first. I didn't even go to register my 2nd child, DH did it although we had agreed the names.

I wouldn’t have him at the birth and make sure I’d go to the registry office first crawling on my hands and knees to get the name I wanted before he dictated anything to me.

You have the right, not him! The papers will be passed to you as the patient. To ease your mind, tell the midwife your birthing plan and make it clear that you don’t want him there. It might be his baby too, but it’s your birth, your choice!

Look after yourself and your baby x

The papers will be passed to you as the patient.
But @Aspergirl77 is a registrar and says in her area there are no physical papers.

Well, you could just call your baby the name you have chosen. Mine both have Sunday names and nicknames they answer to. (My name is also different on my birth certificate).

Presumably you can change it legally later on, too. @Aspergirl77 might be able to advise- do people have an option to return within a certain period if they regret their choice, or pay to change it?

Is it possible to contact the registrar and speak with them about not letting him register the baby. There must be a way around this.

@BeingATwatItsABingThing

Is it possible to contact the registrar and speak with them about not letting him register the baby. There must be a way around this.

No because he has a legal right. You'd need to go to court.

If you are married then the father has equal rights to name the baby as long as they have their marriage certificate to prove the marriage. They don't need anything else.

My dad named me something completely different to what my mum wanted and she was pissed off when he came back from the registry office.

My DH registered DC2 in September as only one parent can go due to covid if they are married. Easier for me to stay home as was breastfeeding and looking after toddler too

@Longdistance

I wouldn’t have him at the birth and make sure I’d go to the registry office first crawling on my hands and knees to get the name I wanted before he dictated anything to me.

Waiting times for appointments are about 6-8 weeks at the moment because of the backlog from covid (presumably)

Does the baby need to be there at the registration?

@stairgates

Does the baby need to be there at the registration?

Nope