Who has legal right to name baby?

[gamechanging]

My husband and I are going through a difficult patch that might end in divorce (he has been emotionally and financially abusive). Our second baby is due in a couple of month's time and I have a name that I love! I remember from naming our first baby, he pretty much dictated what it would be.

Anyway, with this one I am determined to not let that happen again, and after everything he has put us both through (I know how stress can affect a foetus), I don't think he should get a say. I can't find anything online on who gets the ultimate say on naming a baby, when a couple are married (if they aren't married, it's the mother).

Anyone have any ideas?

Yeah we had to wait 7 weeks to register for a late July birth. You can ring up child benefits and add a child to a claim before then. The name given to HMRC over the phone must match the name registered afterwards

I dimly remember form Coronation street that Tracey Langton was meant to be Caroline, but Ray thought it was too posh and nipped in first with Tracey. Deirdre wasn't pleased.

Don’t tell him the baby has been born until you get to the registers office and do the forms?

You will know of the birth before he will (obviously don't tell him when you go into labour). As soon as you can after the birth, make an appointment with the registrar, I think you can book it online. After that's done then tell him about the birth, even if he tries to book an appointment it will be after yours. I think there's a 6 week wait most places xx

If he registers the baby with a name you really hate, you can change the name once within the first year. However, he could do the same if he hates the name you chose.

@Elieza

Don’t tell him the baby has been born until you get to the registers office and do the forms?

She can't hide a baby for 6-8 weeks!

She can't hide a baby for 6-8 weeks!

She hasn’t said she would need to do this. If she can’t get an appointment sooner, then neither can he.

If he registers the baby with a name you really hate, you can change the name once within the first year. However, he could do the same if he hates the name you chose.

Do it on day 364.

I think there's a 6 week wait most places

Most? Where are you getting that from?

If the date of the appt sent to the father was after the date the mother had registered, it would flag up on our pre registration checks and/or when we tried to enter the details on our system as already being registered. We have them have to look into it further to confirm if this was the case.

@SherbertFace

The papers will be passed to you as the patient. But *@Aspergirl77* is a registrar and says in her area there are no physical papers.

There are usually discharge papers issued to the mother along with the red book, but if someone turns up without themwanting to register and all the checks we do are ok we will just do it.

She hasn’t said she would need to do this. If she can’t get an appointment sooner, then neither can he.
So do tell him the baby has been born but just get an appointment sooner than he does?

A good plan indeed but not the one I was responding to! I was answering them 'don't tell him the baby has been born' post.

@MrsGhastlyCrumb

Well, you could just call your baby the name you have chosen. Mine both have Sunday names and nicknames they answer to. (My name is also different on my birth certificate).

Presumably you can change it legally later on, too. @Aspergirl77 might be able to advise- do people have an option to return within a certain period if they regret their choice, or pay to change it?

Yes you can change the forenames (but not the surname) via the register office - you have 12 months from the date of registration to do this, we call it a ‘space 17’ name change, it can only be done once and there is a £40ish fee to pay to do it. A word if warning if you register your preferred name and the father turns up with a space 17 form and pays the fee, we’ll do a name change without consulting the mother as we can accept the application from either parent.

File for divorce now?

@BoredZelda

If he registers the baby with a name you really hate, you can change the name once within the first year. However, he could do the same if he hates the name you chose.

Do it on day 364.

That wouldn't work.

The baby has to be registered within 42 days of the birth. It can only be changed once in the first year.

I guess she could register the baby in whatever name he choses (or let him) then immediately change the name. It's more of a risk to register the baby in a name he hates in case he changes it without her knowledge, then there is no chance of changing it again other than by deed poll, which requires permission from both parents.

In the hospital, the baby is know as "baby (mother's surname)".

There's a deadline by which you have to register the birth and the child's name (sorry, don't remember what it is, but they give you an information sheet at the hospital). As other's have said, whoever registers the birth at the registry office gets to say what the baby's first and last name will be. I went on my own to register my child's birth and didn't get asked what the dad thought about the name or anything like that.

And if you think you may divorce, give the baby your surname. From personal experience, it's a massive pain in the arse if your child has a different surname from you.

@C152

In the hospital, the baby is know as "baby (mother's surname)".

There's a deadline by which you have to register the birth and the child's name (sorry, don't remember what it is, but they give you an information sheet at the hospital). As other's have said, whoever registers the birth at the registry office gets to say what the baby's first and last name will be. I went on my own to register my child's birth and didn't get asked what the dad thought about the name or anything like that.

If you're unmarried, so both need to attend the appointment, mom gets final say on surname and whether dad is included, and they explain the legal implications of both.

@C152

And if you think you may divorce, give the baby your surname. From personal experience, it's a massive pain in the arse if your child has a different surname from you.

Can I ask in what way it's been a pain in the arse?

My first child has a different surname to me and it's never been an issue at all.

Does the father need the marriage cert to prove they are married as a pp said?
You could conveniently 'lose' it.

Girlmom2 - do you mean if you're unmarried both parents need to attend? I didn't know that. I was married and went on my own and wasn't asked any questions about what the dad thought / agreed about the name. I don't remember them talking about implications of names, but it was years ago, so they may well have done and I've forgotten.

PolytheneRam - it's a pain in the arse because, even when we were married, I always ended up travelling alone with my son. And every single time I had to carry a signed permission letter from his dad (saying he agreed to me taking our son out of the country), our marriage certificate and my son's full birth certificate and, almost without fail, I was always asked for these documents at passport control. I find it grating to be honest. I just wish they'd go back to what they used to do and put the baby on the mother's passport or at least give both parents names on the child's passport.

Can't you change the name within the first year for free? Does that take consent from both parents? If not, you could re register and keep quiet about it...

Both can do it unfortunately. Like others said keep documents and get to register office yourself to do the naming.
There are lengthy waits for appointments atm with covid backlogs, we had over 7 weeks to wait after booking in to register our newborn (I took baby with me, dh had older ones).

@C152

Girlmom2 - do you mean if you're unmarried both parents need to attend? I didn't know that. I was married and went on my own and wasn't asked any questions about what the dad thought / agreed about the name. I don't remember them talking about implications of names, but it was years ago, so they may well have done and I've forgotten.

Yes both parents need to attend if you're unmarried and want both on the birth certificate, then you have to re-register the birth if you marry.