Help! Completely unprepared to send baby to nursery

[AnotherThingToDo]

In 3 weeks’ time my baby will start at nursery for 3 days a week, I’ll be returning to work four days a week and my husband will take our baby for one day a week. Great plan.

Except that we’re completely unprepared, and I’m feeling a bit panicked about it. My baby will be 11.5 months when he starts nursery. He picks at 3 meals a day, but I’d guess that 80% of his calories is still from milk. And he still mostly contact naps on me.

He just doesn’t seem ready to hand over to someone else to take care of. I can see how they might get him to adapt to new napping routines quite quickly, but I’m worried that he isn’t weaned enough.

Ive tried expressing but don’t get much. And I’ve tried a couple of different formulas but he refuses them. Help!?

At that age just give him a cup of cows milk.
I wouldn’t be faffing with formula for 2 weeks.

Not much experience of sending a baby, but I will just say that my DS days things at nursery in his lunchbox he never would at home (like sandwiches). You could give formula and send in some weaning-type foods (finger foods cut small and perhaps a purée) and you'll soon find out what he's eating!

eats, not days

You’re probably worrying about nothing, he’ll likely eat what the others do and quickly get on to 3 meals and 2 snacks a day just by following along with the nursery routine. I wouldn’t faff with formula, they will probably give him cows milk from a sippy cup and if he takes it great, if not then it’s not a problem. He can still have breastfeeds first thing and before bed. The naps will be the same, he will quickly adjust as they all tend to go down for a post lunch nap together. The only advice I would give is to have him start a couple of weeks before you go back to work so you don’t need to stress about the adjustment to the routine.

DD was a contact napper and nursery had no issues getting her to nap there from day 1. Was slightly magical! Also yes they tend to eat much more varied stuff when surrounded by their peers who have the same thing.

Prepare for night feeds to increase though!

My nursery were willing to hold her to sleep, as she got adjusted. She eats far better at nursery than at home. Milk she makes up on the way home or over night

My ds1 was similar (and a similar age) when he started nursery. He ate more solids there than at home and switch fed (ie started bf much more at night than he had been doing). I didn't bother with formula but he wouldn't take milk from a sippy cup/bottle - always preferred water and still does.

Thanks everyone, quite reassuring that he might just adjust. I’m not sure I could be up feeding him any more in the night… I’m hoping nursery will be stimulating and help him to sleep better!

A good idea to try some cows milk. He certainly like yogurt.

Nursery is some kind of magical place where young children behave, nap easily & eat everything they are given 😂 honestly, do not worry. My youngest has been a child who needs pitch black, white noise, cot naps. Very easily woken up. At nursery, naps on the floor (on a mat) in semi-darkened room with children playing/crying/noise making very close by! Naps for 2 hours straight. She also eats everything they offer yet if we make some of the same meals at home, not a chance she’s eating them 🙈

I’m always astonished at drop off to see all the younger toddlers (15-18 months) sat neatly in a circle clapping & shaking instruments to music. Or if I’m a bit later, sat quietly tucking into breakfast at the table. No crying, no fussing, no-one wandering off.. a genuine miracle 😂

It’s so hard with your first, you worry about everything! But both they & you will quickly adapt & it’ll become the norm. I found both my girls get/got good habits from nursery. Easier to put down to nap, less sensitive to noise, sat better at the table, became more interested in trying new food, became interested in helping to tidy up, learnt to share (sometimes, that’s still not perfect at almost 5 🙈) etc etc!

My DS was similar to how you describe when he went to nursery. I sent him in with a bottle and some formula the first week, he refused to touch it, so from then on he had cows' milk from a cup during the day and breastfed in the evening. He was fine. He ate more at nursery than he did at home as he copied the other children and there's the element of competition, too. Nursery keyworkers are generally napping superheroes, goodness knows how they do it, but they always had more success getting him to nap when he was little than I did.

It's a big adjustment, but he, and you, will be fine. It's entirely normal to feel like this in the lead up to them actually going, once he's there and you're over the strangeness of the first week or so it gets much easier.

Should add, my DS also started sleeping through the night and stopped breastfeeding all night once he started nursery and was over the unsettled period at the start.

Echo pp, don’t worry about naps and food.

Do have a robust plan in place for back up childcare for when he’s ill though and be prepared to have to use it frequently.

We are a few weeks ahead of you and DS has only actually been in nursery 50% of the time because of illnesses he’s picked up - sickness bugs and high temperatures mean we’ve either had to keep him off or they’ve called us to pick him up. We are really struggling as we have no family support so are working all hours around him.

Thank you @Bobholll and @toastfiend that’s incredibly reassuring. It’s so hard to imagine right now and I keep imagining how hungry he’d be if he ate like he does at home. I think mealtimes are still basically just entertainment for him. Anyway, a huge relief to think so many others have adjusted. Nursery workers seem to be so undervalued for the miracles they work!

And thanks for the advice @MaverickDanger We’ll be in the same position with no family nearby and we should probably anticipate a lot of illness at first, what with being a lockdown baby and going into winter.

Genuine miracle workers. They are heavily underpaid! Particularly the toddler room I recon. Toddlers are insane & exhausting. I struggle with one at a time. They have like 12-15 toddlers to manage .. they should be paid millions 😂

Genuine miracle workers. They are heavily underpaid! Particularly the toddler room I recon. Toddlers are insane & exhausting. I struggle with one at a time. They have like 12-15 toddlers to manage .. they should be paid millions 😂

@Bobholll Aw thank you! I'm a nursery nurse...I wish you were my manager!!!! 😂