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Original poster

MoH at sisters wedding 6w after due date

26 replies

DizzySquirrel90 · 12/10/2021 16:39

Hi

I originally posted this in 'pregnancy' topic but didn't get any replies. Hoping for some here 🤞🏼

I'm currently 36+1, and so thankful and grateful.

I am planning to exclusively BF.

I'm MoH at my sisters wedding 6 weeks after due date. And am slightly concerned about that.

My sister is so excited to have her nephew at her wedding, but in order to be as little inconvenience as possible, does anyone have any tips? Has anyone done something similar?

I can foresee it being a stressful day for myself and my partner

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pickingdaisies · 12/10/2021 16:43

Oh lord. No advice, just well done for taking it on, and good luck to you all!

Poppins2016 · 12/10/2021 16:55

I attended a wedding with a 3 week old and would do it again if I needed to.

Make sure you have all baby supplies ready the night before, plus your own things.

Delegate someone to look after baby while you get ready in advance. Allow double the time you need in case of baby needing to breastfeed unexpectedly (this will happen).

Put your dress on last!

Take a sling with you, newborns love the cosy comfort and most will drift off to sleep happily, leaving you with hands free!

Set expectations. It's likely you'll need to sit and breastfeed a lot.

Remember that babies are portable at this age. Your limit on how long you stay will be your tiredness and how you feel, not the baby. I actually ended up staying at the wedding I attended until 11 pm, chatting and cluster feeding!

Poppins2016 · 12/10/2021 16:57

One more thing... is the dress suitable for breastfeeding? You'll want to look into getting it altered if not... at that age if you're breastfeeding you'll want the freedom of just feeding wherever you are, not going back to a hotel room (you'll end up spending more time away from the wedding than at it in that scenario)!

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DappledThings · 12/10/2021 17:01

Being able to feed in the dress would be myain concern. If you can donthis easily enough it should be fine

SallySkelington · 12/10/2021 21:29

Don't have a light coloured dress! You might still be bleeding quite heavily

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 12/10/2021 22:39

I went to a wedding with someone who had a 5 week old there.

She had the baby strapped to her the whole time....so you really cant be picky about what the outfit looks like. She also had a bag full of supplies handy for when she needed it. She was up on the dancefloor until about 11pm with everyone though, baby still strapped to her! She'd got these baby headphone things for when the music was loud. Tbh she looked like she had a great time. I didnt have a baby at the time but now I have one I wonder if she was a bit of a wonder woman!

Poppins2016 · 13/10/2021 09:42

@Letsallscreamatthesistene I reckon she had a great time but was probably exhausted the next day! 🤣
I guess it's one of those things where the people and atmosphere around you fuels you!

CraftyGin · 13/10/2021 09:51

Wedding - yes
Matron of Honour - no

AbsentMind · 13/10/2021 14:41

Bumping for you...!

Aquamarine1029 · 13/10/2021 14:48

It might make your life much easier to have another outfit to change into once the ceremony and pictures are done.

At 6 weeks, your baby is going to be calling all of the shots. Is your sister understanding of this? Does she realise that you will have to be attending to your baby quite frequently for feeds?

Aquamarine1029 · 13/10/2021 14:49

To add, do you have to be in the wedding? Does she not have a best friend who could be MOH?

gogohm · 13/10/2021 15:13

If you are wearing a dress, have arranged a space you can slip it down to feed, i did this at my own wedding. Also take whatever help is offered, I'm sure it will be fine and your family will be happy to see little one

Willowrose63 · 13/10/2021 15:27

I think around 6 weeks old babies go through a cluster feeding stage where they want to feed extremely frequently. My daughter definitely did this at that age and it was quite intense!
I'd say definitely make sure you can breastfeed in your dress and maybe that the dress is OK with big comfy knickers as you might still need to be wearing pads at that stage. Also second what someone said about getting a stretchy sling, there are some really pretty ones out there you could get a nice one to go with your dress.
Actually just re reading back over a few posts and @Poppins2016 has given great advice!

DriftingBlue · 13/10/2021 15:34

At 6 weeks, I would find a way to attend the wedding as a guest for my sibling. I would bow out as MOH unless your sister is fine with you doing nothing more than standing with her during the ceremony. Honestly, even that may be stressful given that you will need to be in a particular outfit.

BingBongToTheMoon · 13/10/2021 15:41

I definitely would bow out of being MOH.
Also, baby might actually only be 4 weeks at the wedding.

PeanutButterFalcon · 13/10/2021 15:42

I did this recently with my baby. I had a bouncy chair for her to sit in and was breast feeding. Actually broke my dress trying to feed her! Luckily there was safety pins to repair it. I had somewhere I could hide all my baby things and feed when needed, and was so worried about it. She ended up being in a carrier on my chest the entire time, (after the official photos) loved dancing and had her baby headphones on. Honestly was a lot easier than I imagined it to be and she had colic! Everyone was giving me stories on how they had been through similar and no one minded.

PeanutButterFalcon · 13/10/2021 15:44

I will say, the dress I had didn’t fit. Have a back up in a different size and check it the day before. I also took flat shoes again for after photos

MrsFin · 13/10/2021 15:51

You're aware the baby might be late right? Or you might need a Caesarian, or might be struggling to feed, or have pnd, our you might still be bleeding, or have really sore nipples, or piles, or something.....
Without wanting to put a downer on things, I'm not sure if be up to the job of MoH 6 weeks after my due date.

Echobelly · 13/10/2021 15:56

Sister should be realistic that you shouldn't really be expected to do much on the day - by all means walk in with her or whatever, but nothing should depend on you. I probably wouldn't accept any role with a tiny baby - both mine were 'easy' babies but I'd have been hard pushed to keep up with a whole wedding day with either at 6 weeks.

CraftyGin · 13/10/2021 16:09

OP,

What kind of venue is your DSis getting married in. If it is a place where you stay overnight, then fab. You can have a little nap in the day.

I loved being a new mum (5 times!) but at six weeks you are absolutely shattered and possibly in zombie mode. I was fine with this, as long as I was in relative control of my situation, eg stay at home when I like, go out when I like. The thought of being 'trapped' 8 hours + with a game face on would fill me with dread.

I would suggest that you just go as a regular guest and enjoy it without any additional stress or expectation. It's not fair on you at this point to have this looming, and it's not fair on your sister to possibly be let down, or to feel guilty that you are performing under duress.

Original poster
DizzySquirrel90 · 13/10/2021 20:05

Hi all

Thanks for all tips and advice. Much appreciated.

For those saying I should bow out - My sister is aware that I'm going to have a 4/6 week old, and that I may need to step aside at any point. My sister is my best friend and therefore I want to be there for her on this day. She has worked with children in a nursery since graduating childcare and is fully aware of how demanding it can and will be.

It is a wedding in a hotel and we have a room to slip off to at any point.

OP posts:
Poppins2016 · 14/10/2021 13:53

Given that your sister understands and that you're in a hotel so it's easy to slip off, I wouldn't worry too much. Go with the flow depending on how you feel! You may well feel that it's all manageable (equally, you may not, but it would be a shame to change anything based on 'what if' scenarios, given that your sister sounds understanding that you won't be able to take much on).

I'd just make it clear that you're essentially maid of honour in 'honorary name only' rather than 'function' if that makes sense. Cheerlead while she gets ready (while sitting and breastfeeding!), put on your dress, walk down the aisle and then sit and enjoy your new baby at the reception for as long as you feel able to.

For context (and to offer a different perspective to those saying "no way"), as I mentioned above, I took a 3 week old to a wedding. I'm also currently writing this while breastfeeding baby number 2 aged 4 weeks old, so my response isn't influenced by rose tinted glasses! If I needed to be maid of honour this weekend in the situation you're describing, I would feel that it's doable. Full disclosure - I had straightforward vaginal births, second degree tear requiring stitches the first time round, first degree tear last time - uncomfortable up to about 3 weeks post partum.

BungleandGeorge · 14/10/2021 14:10

I think it will be fine. My biggest worry would be the outfit- does it accommodate breast pads and a potentially rapidly changing shape? If it’s not very friendly to milk leakage and baby stains if second the suggestion to take something nice to get changed into

CaramelWaferAndTea · 14/10/2021 14:15

Took 6 week old to a wedding where I was bridesmaid. It was fine. Basically, sling, and a better more breastfeeding friendly outfit for later on were crucial. We left about 11:30pm. The baby was very portable indeed - and this wasn’t at a hotel, but two central London locations where we just skipped the bus and used a black cab to get between them. Husband did a lot of holding the baby in sling through the drinks reception!

Escapetothecounty · 14/10/2021 14:51

I think it sounds fine, as long as you have a straightforward birth. What do MoH's actually do other than be there whilst bride is getting ready and walk down the aisle?

As long as everyone is understanding and flexible and you have support (DP?) nearby to hold baby at critical moments then hopefully you can enjoy the day. Good that you've got a room on site, that will make it easier and you can slip away as/when required. Make sure your dress is feeding friendly though!

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