An issue with my 11 year old...

[Mommykk]

I have four kids my 2 oldest are boys they're 11 and 8 and my girls are 5 and almost 2.

Technically my 11 year old is my step son but I've always considered him my own. Me and his father gave been together for over 9 years so he was almost 2 at the time. His mother has always been in and out of the picture. Pretty much plays mommy when she feels like it. I have never talked bad about her especially not around any of thr kids. Well recently my oldest got mad at me because he didn't want to go to the store and I told him he had to I couldn't leave him at home alone. Well he told me that he hated me acting like I was his mom because he is not my son. It hurt me so bad because I have always trated him like my own child. I dont want him to be in trouble for what he said but how do I bring this up to him and how do we move past it.

I hope he wouldn't be "in trouble."

Tell him you know you're not his mum, but you love him as a son, and you hope the two of you can always have a close relationship, and that both of you need to respect each other's feelings. Leave it at that. He's 11, he's a child, and he said something hurtful whilst angry. Not unusual. Making a huge deal out of this one off and trying to force him to consider you his mother will accomplish nothing.

You need to make sure that you don’t overstep.
Especially in terms of parenting - does your DH do enough, rather than you doing his parenting “jobs”?

Why couldn't you leave an 11 year old home alone ?

I also don't see the issue with an 11 year old staying home whilst you go to the shop

He obviously doesn't feel like your "own". It is a bit naive of you to think he would, and a bit insensitive to disregard his feelings in the matter. It sounds like his feelings have been totally ignored and never acknowledged at all