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Parenting

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Original poster

Party protocol

81 replies

Opalfeet · 08/10/2021 21:44

My little one at nursery been invited to a party, we don't know the mum or the girl. Obviously the mum has asked nursery to give invites out to everyone- how lovely!

So we will be going because my son says he would like to go to eat cake 🤣

Its traditional, local church hall etc. So what about siblings? I know people have said it's cheeky on here before, but I think that's normally been for full on parties booked at special venues. Do I just ask? Happy to leave him at home, but equally it would be easier for me to take him.

Also how much to spend on a present and do I just guess what to buy a little girl?

Thanks everyone

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mumsiedarlingrevolta · 08/10/2021 21:47

Unless siblings included on the invitation they are not invited.
How many in the nursery class?
Let's say 20.
then add siblings-let's say some have one, some two so 30 extra guests.
So for me it's a no.
Nursery age girls probably like the same as nursery age boys?

APurpleSquirrel · 08/10/2021 21:51

Ask the birthday girls parents if you can bring your other DC, but be prepared to be told no. If it was me, it would be fine for that sort of party. It's more if you're catering for very specific numbers.
At that age I usually spent around £10 & usually got something from Melissa & Doug - good quality wooden toys tick lots of boxes for many parents & kids like them too. Often found good prices in TK Maxx.

Original poster

Opalfeet · 08/10/2021 21:52

No not 20, it's really quite a small nursery. I am asking because I don't know the protocol, I've read on here about people planning for parties and people advising to cater for a bit extra in case people bring siblings. I don't know her so she won't know name of sibling, or would it explicitly say siblings invited? It wasn't a gender question, it was more a personality q. I have no idea what the girl likes

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Knitwit101 · 08/10/2021 21:55

Don't bring siblings. Spend about £10. Buy a book or two.

APurpleSquirrel · 08/10/2021 22:02

How old is the child?

Original poster

Opalfeet · 08/10/2021 22:07

The party girl? 4

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Orangedaisy · 08/10/2021 22:10

Ask re siblings but give them an easy out. They may have not considered it if it’s their first party. If taking sibling spend £15, if not spend £10 ish.

MeadowHay · 08/10/2021 22:14

It would never occur to me that a sibling would be invited to a nursery party unless expressly invited. DD is 3 and has been to a few birthday parties now of kids at nursery and none of the other children had siblings there (and I know at least a few of them have siblings). I think it would be super rude to even ask.

I spend roughly a tenner on presents and I just pick a toy or book etc that I think most children of whatever the age is would like, basically, using my own DD as a frame of reference.

Original poster

Opalfeet · 08/10/2021 22:14

@Orangedaisy yeah if I asked, I'd deffo be like, appreciate it if you cannot cater for siblings etc. Wouldnt just assume I could take him

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Comedycook · 08/10/2021 22:14

If it's a church hall type thing then I think it's fine to bring a sibling, especially if it's a younger one...they only run round the hall usually...if I took a sibling though, I wouldn't allow them to sit at the table for food unless the host specifically offered.

As for a present £5-10 is standard...art and crafts stuff, books etc

Original poster

Opalfeet · 08/10/2021 22:15

@MeadowaHay anything Peppa then? 🤣 Have a Peppa infatuated pre schooler

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Original poster

Opalfeet · 08/10/2021 22:15

Sibling will be under two when we go

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Comedycook · 08/10/2021 22:16

@Opalfeet

Sibling will be under two when we go

Then it's totally fine to bring them along with you imo. I'd raise an eyebrow if it was a soft play party where you pay per guest but a party in a hall is fine.

Original poster

Opalfeet · 08/10/2021 22:18

@Comedycook that's what I was wondering. I may broach the subject with the host, very politely of course and with the option of her being able to say no sorry pretty easily.

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00100001 · 08/10/2021 22:19

Get them something like a colouring/activity book or craft set.

Original poster

Opalfeet · 08/10/2021 22:20

Interesting @MeadowHay I've not been to any parties before were they all traditional type parties. I just thought that if you've done your own catering and hired out a hall it makes it a bit more affordable and maybe open to extra siblings.

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pinkappleorpineapple · 08/10/2021 23:22

I don't think I'd ask unless it was a last resort.
I wouldn't like to bring another child and keep them away from the party food, it seems mean to the child and rude to the host if you don't so not a very comfortable scenario.
People probably hire a hall to not have all the mess in their house and to have a clear start and end time, it doesn't necessarily mean they want to cater for extra children. They might not mind, depends on their personality and budget.
If you do it though be prepared for people bringing siblings to your future parties!

Original poster

Opalfeet · 08/10/2021 23:35

@pinkappleorpineapple if I had a.party in a hall I wouldn't mind...as long as I didn't look after them. I'd just make a few more sandwiches, put out a few more cheap crisps/cakes? I don't think it's a massive deal 🤷‍♀️. I guess with the average being 1.8 children these days I'd take the risk that they would bring siblings. It would be different if I'd booked out a venue and had to pay extra for more bodies

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OnlyFoolsnMothers · 09/10/2021 08:06

How old is the sibling? Anything older than a non walking baby who is going to run around and need feeding- nope.
Present wise 5-10 quid - even just a book is fine

Blahdyblahbla · 09/10/2021 08:13

Probably be nicer for your older child to experience the party without their younger sibling, I tend to leave at home unless a close friend where all the dc know each other anyway.
I usually buy a couple of Julia Donaldson books or put a tenner in a card.

residentkaleidoscope · 09/10/2021 08:16

Don't bring the sibling with you. I don't think it's fair on the party host to feel obligated to feed and entertain another child who wasn't invited. I'd be pissed off if someone did that at one of my kids parties.

bettybyebye · 09/10/2021 08:19

You have the option to leave younger DC at home so why would you even ask if you could bring them? As per PP will be nice for your older one to go and experience his friends party without younger DC trailing round. They are under 2 so won’t understand why they can’t sit and have food/party bag etc. Unfair on the child and on the host family.

AnkleDeep · 09/10/2021 08:22

Please don't take sibling. If siblings were welcome it would have said so on the invitation.

It's rude to even ask because the hostess may feel obliged. Just leave sibling at home.

Cattitudes · 09/10/2021 08:29

I really wouldn't take a sibling unless you really can't help it. Especially at 2 they won't understand if they don't win games or get a party bag. I don't think is is actually easier for you either because instead of chatting with other parents and seeing your son enjoying the party you are having to chase around after a toddler, it is probably just easier for whoever would look after the 2yr old. I think it is also nice to do something just with the older child while the 2yr old gets quality time with someone else. I would definitely enquire beforehand as they might take a more the merrier approach but it really depends what they have planned and how easy it is to expand the numbers.

thirstyformore · 09/10/2021 08:32

I was just about to writer exactly what @Cattitudes said. Don't take the sibling. Don't even ask unless you have no other option

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