Am i the worst mother in the world for wanting to return to work when my baby is still so young?

[gemloving]

My baby will be 5 months next week. I also have a 2 1/2 year old but he goes to nursery 4x a week.

I'm not enjoying it. I find it repetitive & very boring. I absolutely adore and love my baby and my toddler - don't get me wrong but I miss my job. I love my job.

I'm thinking of going back when baby is 6 1/2 months but do it staggered, I can use annual leave to be at home for another 2-3 months for 2 days in the week.

I should be grateful that we can afford for me to stay at home but I resent my husband who gets to close the door and work. I feel ashamed for how I feel but can't change it.

Not aat all! I went back ft when mine were 8m and 6m respectively. I'd do the same again.

I like to work. I don't like to be home with the kids full time outside of annual leave etc.

No man would ever ask themselves if they were a bad parent for this, and they usually go back 2 to 3 weeks after the birth.

I had to go back for financial reasons when DS was 5 months. I didn't feel guilty but I did wish I could stay with him. My DSis went back when DS was 2 months.

It doesn't make you a worse parent if you don't have a whole year off, you know.

Not at all. You do what's best for you. I'm expecting my first baby in April but as I'm self-employed I can only afford about 6 weeks maternity leave so I'll be going back to work quite soon. I don't feel guilty about it. It is what it is.

I went back at 20 weeks with all 3 of mine - 2 of them being twins. I'm the main earner by 3x (soon to be 4x) I don't have the luxury of feeling guilty about it - it is what it is

I went back (albeit very part time initially) at 8 weeks and 12 weeks and upped my hours to full time at five months both times. I could give some reasons why that made sense for our family, but fundamentally it was because I love my job and I have never been an ‘imaginative play’ mum. The DC we’re fine at the time and seem pretty balanced now 10+ years down the line. I am certain that I am a better mum than I would have been if I had stayed at home longer, undoubtedly resentful of missing a job I enjoyed. The big downside was the exhaustion of being at work while nights were still really disturbed. Good luck

I went back to work when my son was 6mo with no regrets at all

My first I had to go back when she was 12 weeks, second and third choose to go back when they were 6 months. But it was part time. If you are out the house 7am to 6pm 5 days a week I am afraid I do think that is not the best option foramost all babies if in nursery.

Not at all OP. I’ve been a million times happier going back to work. If we were to have another child there is no way I’d take a years maternity leave either.

As much as It is very very hard with a baby my 3rd is just 5 months there is no way I could put them in nursery that young (I have worked in lots of nurserys) i wouldn't send my children anywhere before they can talk, sorry not what you wanted to hear. But answering honestly

I went back to work pt when DS1 was four months, and DS2 went when he was five months. We had no family help, nobody fighting over sleepovers or days out with them like I read on here, so I put them in nursery and went back to work for that physical and psychological space. It absolutely saved me.
Now 18 and 16 and never a moments regret. We're all bonded well enough and my pension looks great.

@Learnthroughplay3

As much as It is very very hard with a baby my 3rd is just 5 months there is no way I could put them in nursery that young (I have worked in lots of nurserys) i wouldn't send my children anywhere before they can talk, sorry not what you wanted to hear. But answering honestly

That's nice for you. Feel free to keep it to yourself next time you're in a completely irrelevant discussion.

I went back at 5 months full time
Its hard but I'm glad I chose to do so

Like every French mum I went back to at 13 weeks. Drop your cultural guilt and be a shining example to your kids.

I went back to work at 13 weeks without a backward glance and never regretted it once. We did shared parental leave so husband did the next 3 months. She was at nursery from 6 months and is now a well adjusted, securely attached 2 year old.

@BuffySummersReportingforSanity Just because someone has a different opinion it doesn't mean they must keep it to themselves. What that PP had to say wasn't irrelevant. She was simply giving her opinion. Don't be immature.

Another one who went back to work when baby was 5.5 months, entirely planned and by choice, and it worked well for all of us.

Lots of people go back to work when their kids are that age. Personally I wouldn't waste the time off, but everyone is different and my life was much easier on mat leave lol.

@cloudacious

Not at all. The alternative is often not child friendly at all and totally parent centered -introducing nursery just when they've given up on outsiders and decided to always be with you forever and ever.

Nothing wrong with that at all.

Having a years maternity leave is very new, I think lots of women go back sooner you just don't hear about it.

It doesn’t matter what other people think OP, do what works for you and your family

Hi All, I had a chat with my husband who is ever so supportive. We also have a 2 1/2 year old and he doesn't go to nursery but a childminder, it's two of them and I trust them.

I had a bad day yesterday but I've decided to go back at the end of January (31st) as we're off to Portugal next week for 10 days, I will then spend another 7 days in Germany with my family in November, then it's Christmas and will spend another week in Germany in January before I go back.

I'll stagger it, so will only be in the office 3 days for the first month, then 4 days, then once he turns 1, back the full 5 days but will continue to work from home 3 days a week and hubby will be WFH 2 days a week.

Thank you so so so much for your words of encouragement and it's fine if you have a different opinion but as some say, in a lot of countries, people done have a choice unless they become a SAHM and given I am the main breadwinner, that's not an option and even if I wasn't, it wouldn't be an option for me.

Great plan, OP. Enjoy the next few months with family and best wishes on your return to work.

I went back at 6 months. Maternity leave wasn't for me. I felt better for it.

My sister went back at 17 weeks, because that's when her full pay went to.

I went back to work full time when DT’s were six months old. That was the normal maternity leave then and my career wouldn’t wait any longer. I had always planned on returning to work.
The nursery was brilliant and they stayed there until they started school. Two of the staff became our babysitters.

My maternity full pay lasts four weeks! Not sure what I'll do after that but childcare from 5/6 months doesn't seem unreasonable to me!