How do you get 'me time' with a one year old?

[guac]

I wake up when he wakes up, go to sleep when he goes to sleep, and in between I'm taking care of him or in future I'll be at work. Where does the me time come in? Husband finishes work close to baby's bedtime and works 6 days a week. Is 'me time' pretty much non existent until my child is significantly older?

Pretty much. Maybe put him to bed earlier so you get more time to yourself?

I put my 1yo to bed at 7. Have you tried an earlier bedtime?

Yeah you don’t get any. Sorry.

You don’t get Me Time until your child is older. Mine was 3.5 before I got any time to myself.

Nap time? Evenings after baby is in bed?

What is it you want to do in your me time - have a bath, do an exercise class, go out with your friends?

I’d say evening, and when they’re napping at that age. Sometimes it’s worth a late night to meet up with friends even if you’re going to be tired the next day.

Then at the weekend can you take yourself off for a morning every couple of weeks?

Are you sleeping for 12 hours a day? I’m thinking either your child doesn’t sleep much or you sleep a lot

I’d it’s the latter, is there anything medical that could be the reason? At 1 they are tiring. You need some time away from them.

Yep. The only me time I get is the commute or the few hours a week riding my horse while DH has DD.
DH works shifts 6 days a week. I work 4 long days.
But I have started booking the odd few hours of annual leave for a break but keeping DD in nursery. That’s lovely time!

My baby is slightly younger than yours (8 months) but I get up at 6 when my baby gets up at 7, use nap time (she naps about 3 hours a day) and put her to bed at 7pm. Overall I get 6 hours ish of time awake without her. Maybe this isn’t normal I’m not sure (and we definitely do have a good sleeper), but it seems to be for most of my friends. Also my DH really puts in the hours on the weekend.

Of course you can get me time! Use baby’s nap times and have a 7pm bedtime.

@Orangedaisy

Yeah you don’t get any. Sorry.

Mine are 2 and just turned 4, no 'me time' as yet... I'm hoping in 2023 when they're both in school....🤞🤞🤞

@SheWoreYellow

I’d say evening, and when they’re napping at that age. Sometimes it’s worth a late night to meet up with friends even if you’re going to be tired the next day.

Then at the weekend can you take yourself off for a morning every couple of weeks?

Are you sleeping for 12 hours a day? I’m thinking either your child doesn’t sleep much or you sleep a lot

I’d it’s the latter, is there anything medical that could be the reason? At 1 they are tiring. You need some time away from them.

This.

DS has been asleep since 18:30 we put him in there at 18:00 and he flopped around a bit on the bed for half hour then went to sleep. I’ll go to sleep at 10 ish so that’ll be 4 hours to ourselves every evening regardless of what goes on in the day (whether he’s here/at GPs/at nursery).

Then a 1hr+ nap at lunchtime. So in any given day there’s 5hours to ourselves minus when we take dc out on our own and leave the other to get on with something.

Plus not minus obvz

Your baby should be sleeping more than you are, so use evenings/early mornings and nap time.

If you can afford it, get a good regular babysitter or use a nursery/childminder for a few hours a week.

Get DH to have some time with the baby so you can have time to yourself, even if only every other week or something.

Me time is very important, try and prioritise it wherever you can.

What time do you go to bed?

Both of mine have gone to bed at 7.00, youngest who is 4 still does. Eldest is 9 and entertains himself in another room until bed. I’ve made sure I have the evenings to myself!

What time is your husband working until if he finishes at baby's bedtime and you go to bed at the same time? Either he is working very late or you are sleeping very early. Could either of those be adjusted so that you get some down time in the evenings?

My youngest is nearly 2 and I have got my evenings back at last. My oldest goes to sleep at 8 so I get a couple of hours after that to watch TV, read etc.

No free time during the day yet though!

Can your husband look after dc on the day he doesn't work for a couple of hours alone? It would allow you to get out for me time or have a bath, do a work out etc. Is there anyone who can help you for an hour or so in the week- friends, family, etc? I'm sure they wouldn't mind watching the baby for a bit to let you have a bath in peace or get some jobs done

Agree with others who said during naps and in the evening when in bed. I have a 1yo and 2yo and that’s where I get catch up or down time.

Since the 2nd baby was born myself and DH take one evening each a week to ourselves. Usually just an hour or two to grab a coffee or look in the shops but it’s time alone away from the house.

I notice a couple of things after reading replies. He goes to bed around 8:15pm because he doesn't wake until 7am and I'd rather stick to that than have an earlier wake time and earlier bedtime.

As for naps, he will nap twice a day but only for half an hour UNLESS, I lie next to him. If I lie next to him at the 30 minute mark he will grab on to me and fall back asleep but should he wake and I'm not there, he wakes up. So I'm restricted to spend time next to him for naps

I guess I have an hour/hour and a half to play around with when he goes to bed but I'm normally so tired I just get into bed and go on my phone for that time and fall asleep. I do think I'm lacking in iron and not eating well which probably doesn't help things.

can you grab a nap with the baby?

then you will have more energy for yourself in the evenings and enjoy your time a little?

Also eat broccoli, guiness, heavy iron things! keep your levels up

Are you taking iron tablets?
I had no me time until mine was about 3. I had to spend the evenings tidying up/clearing away after dinner etc. He didn’t sleep much and was very demanding.
Could you get a childminder to have him once a week or something like that?

You need to prioritise yourself, because otherwise there’s a good chance you’ll end up unhappy and resentful. And that’s not good for you or your family.

Have you heard of the saying you can’t pour from an empty cup? In my experience as a mum, it’s all too true.

You know you need more time, so now you need to think of practical solutions…

How could you carve out more time? You could try a 7pm bedtime and go to bed at 10pm, that’s three hours. You could play around with naps to see if he’d do one longer 1hr+ one. You could encourage independent play (even five minutes so you could drink a hot drink)! You could get your partner to do an activity with them one weekend (swimming lessons, soft play etc.).

And how could you spend it on things that actually fill up your cup? I’m a terrible one for frittering time away on my phone (bad lockdown habit I need do shame), but one the days I’m more conscious of how I spend my precious alone time I’m generally happier.
Have a think about what actually makes you happy and schedule it in. On that note…I’m off to read a book in bed!

I completely understand you OP. I have just had to lay down next to my one year old to get her to sleep and now she's asleep I'm still laying here on my phone because I'm too tired to get up. But I have to as I have to tidy and wash up. Finish some work on my laptop. What an incentive to get up. Sometimes I just fall asleep. I did manage to get her to bed at 7pm a few times but like you that just meant an earlier wake up time. I'm trying to plan activities for my DH to do with my DD on the weekend to give me so free time!

Sorry for all the typos!