The 2 (or more?!) Under 2 Support Thread!

[GrrrlWith2Boys]

Post your woes (or joys) here if you're currently tackling 2 kids under 2 (please say i'm not alone!)

DS1 is super wingey today and driving me batty...the slightest thing and he's whining and crying.

Have managed a 10 min walk with pushchair to get out of house. DS1 watching far too much TV, i haven't brushed my hair and the dog won't stop barking.

I need some gin.

Only started learning when DS1 was tiny and i was 24. My 1st instructor was awful- impatient and difficult to understand. Learning while getting up every hour every night with DS1 was hard, and final straw was my 1st time driving in the dark (and it was hammering down) he was purposely being vague and didn't care i was frightened by the weather / dark. Cried all lesson then stopped for months, and only started again when pregnant with DS2 (with a lovely instructor this time!)

Desperate to pass before my brother though- he's 17 in March.

That instructor sounds like a total shite.

Supergrrl -- snap! I have been permanantly learning to drive since I was pregnant with dd1, so I have had about 60 lessons,and 3 driving instructors! , of course now I'm moving again I'll have to have another instructor and a load more lessons-oh god.
My trouble is I hate driving and I can't seem to find any time to practise, especially because we haven't got anyone to look after the girls whilst dh takes me out. I really want to be able to drive though, because I hate having to rely on dh to take us places even more than I hate driving! My first instructor used to talk about her problems all the time, which was a nightmare, and the most recent one just seems to hate me - TBH I think I'd hate me if I was teaching me to drive - I do tend to burst into tears quite easily!

Hi everyone

can I join your thread?

DD is 23 mths and DS is 4 wks old

Going to have a thorough read through the posts for tips on managing the two of them!

DD has been having some tantrums and I think she's feeling a bit left out after DS's arrival

Having had a million lessons I can say that I didnt really learn to drive until I passed my test. I pootle about places with the girls now which makes a massive difference - particularly when its dark and wet in the winter and we can go for a drive and shout along together to the radio. When everyone is fed up we can go out even if its raining so go for it girls, it will make a world of difference. But I hated learning and it took a two hour lesson twice a week for about 9 months to get me to pass. I refuse to figure out how many hours that is or what it cost. Thing is actually going to Tesco or something is nothing like having a driving lesson - you know the road you will be using and there are no suprises plus you pick the time and the route and things the instructor cares about - like reversing around corners and parrallel parking and dual carraige ways etc etc dont come into it if you dont want them to.

Hi Loucee and congratulations.

And, afternoon(or is it evening?) Ladies.

Can I just add to Padboz's words of hope and wisdom on the driving front? I only passed my test last year when I had DD and I was pregnant again. In fact, until I read these recent posts, I thought I might have been the most embarrassingly untogether learner-driver around. I started learning when I was 17, narrowly failed my test, then stopped for 18 years (for a variety of reasons, only some of them rather good ones) and then passed next time I tried. It can be done... And it makes my life so much more pleasant with the DCs as I can take them on adventures which would take several days with only a double buggy and require a team of dogs to pull it.

(Don't think about driving in terms of your brother passing, Supergrrrl. You must realise as did that it will be really embarrassing if your first child passes before you!)

I like the ideas for teaching the difference between hot and cold -- I'm having a few problems with scientifically minded DD who always wants to touch something, just to check that it is hot when she thinks it is. (Although I think she thinks that some things are hot because they sometimes are... ) I'll get my bowls of water ready (although I think DP has been making progress by pouring cold water over her toes in the bath ).

Hope your DD2 is feeling better, Hazeyjane.

Hi guys, I am here again waitinf to do the dreamfeed....BIG YAWN.

Very good idea re the bowls of water, and with the actual hot one too. I know if she could reach the kettle she would touch it to see if it was hot, so better start early making sureshe knows hot things can hurt.

I have mentioned to DH that I'd like to start driving lessons again and he said great! So, am going to look onto it. And all this bloody rain is making it very hard for me to get out. We have the P&T doubles kit buggy but not the rain cover. The normal rail cover means the front seat is covered,little Izzy in her cocoon gets a bit wet even though she is covered from above (any wind with the rain and that's it for our daily outing!)

Hi Loucee, you and I am in simular situations; I have DD1 who is 21 months, and DD" who is 4 weeks tomorrow. I am finding it really hard when the two are awake at the same time......shouted at DD1 today just for following me around and she did cry. I still feel AWFUL about it.

I sm off to get some chocolate from the fridge.

xx

Hello! Joined this thread a while back and have never had a second to post anything further

HELP, how do I entertain a 3mo and 17mo who are both poorly whilst I am also full of cold?!? DS had his first injections yesterday and has been ratty ever since, and DD (eldest) is full of cold, constantly crying. I have put them both back to bed after a very early start and fingers crossed they are going to sleep, but I still have the rest of the day stretching ahead of me. Normally Id go to a playgroup this morning but she is too ill. Got the docs at 12 for her (possible conjunctivitis, nursery wont let us back in till we have it checked out, even though she doesnt seem to have it today ) but nowt else going on.

Indoor fun suggestions??

Aw Lucy and Gemy - I do feel for you. At the risk of making it worse rather than better it does pass - Mine are just 1 and just 2 and I found it hard when dd2 was tiny but all of a sudden the cloud lifted for me when DD1 could see some point in DD2. They are on the verge of playing together and OMG - bliss - they SLEEP AT THE SAME TIME NOW. (Am I just crowing now?) Anyway its only a few short months away.

Tips : im no expert but I have been there and I know the worst thing is keeping the eldest amused in January/ Feb when its dark early and too cold to go out so for what its worth....

as many story tapes, song tapes etc as you can afford will take the pressure off you some times to actually think of something amusing to say and avoids the TV trap - you can just sing along or do actions to the story. Best of all (sort of) because of the repetition you will learn some stories off by heart by accident that can be recited on car journeys for ever...

when the eldest is fed up and you cant get out the house put youngest in bouncy chair, run a deep bath for the eldest and put in a lot of bubbles - use a kitchen balloon wisk to froth it up, this makes millions - Then throw in 5 assorted items. Get eldest to find them all under the bubbles, have a stab at counting and naming them and put them all on the edge of the bath. Get eldest to shut eyes. Throw in four of them and hide the other one - see if they can spot which is missing. Repeat. This went on for hours sometimes.

I found having a baby doll for the eldest helped.

Every day you possibly can get some fresh air and let the eldest run about. Go on nature walks. Give them a basket and get them to find a stick, a leaf, a feather, a flower and a stone. get them to stick on all the bits and bobs for Daddy as a scrap picture of your day.

Padboz, you have some fab ideas, have you thought of writing a book of top tips!

Cazwa, we have all got colds too. DD2 has the worst and doesn't want to be put down for a second, dd1 is really clingy and jealous and keeps saying "cuddle cuddle". I've had a bout 4 hours slepp for the last couple of nights,consequently I'm afraid we have gone down the Cbeebies route

just when i think i know what a bad day is, i get a REALLY bad one to show me.

Tantrums, hitting, crying, climbing, puking...

I'm not coping very well. DS1 gone to bed for a nap, and DS2 on his 5th bottle since he got up this morning.

I'm starving and on the verge of cracking up.

Might ring MIL later and see if she'll have them both Sunday so DH and i can go to the cinema

Cazwa and hazeyjane - ugh - total sympathy and hugs. Two small people are bad enough. Two ill small people plus an ill mummy is too much.

At the risk of becoming mrs tip, 17 months olds cant draw very well, but what I found was that mine could make patterns with coloured wool on a plain blanket. If you have the energy to sew a few buttons on then they can wrap the wool around them to make specific shapes - you'll end up doing most of it but little one can snuggle in your lap while you wave a bit of wool about with one hand and it gives you a chance to talk about shapes and colours.

This was just for starters - we now have expanded this game into a vast home made fuzy felt type kit - we have squares and triangles and circles of different colour material and we make floor sized scenes out of them... trees, houses, people etc. The little one will chew the bits as they get older so make them big

aw crap supergrrrl. been there. hugs.

Lots of sympathy from me Cazwa, Hazeyjane for the colds; and supergrrrl for the really bad day...

I thought of you as DS won't sleep for more than 2 hours and I haven't been out except on child-related missions for far too long dash to the childminder's, anyone? and it was beginning to get me down. I blame DS having a cold. And the weather forecast (rather than the weather): it keeps saying that it's going to pour with rain and then it's sunny (with only the odd shower thrown in) so I could have skipped about the countryside on exciting adventures with the DCs after all. (OK, so I guess I live in a strange micro-climate because I know the rest of the country is deluged...)

Anyway, I'm off to see a good friend in London tomorrow on the train (with DS in the sling) and he charmed the woman at the station so much she booked him a seat for free . I'd love to take DD too (as my friend has two DDs under 4 and DD would have more fun than DS) but I just don't dare to think I can control both of them yet (what do I mean "yet"? maybe I should type "ever" ??) and the thought of losing DD in a crowded station/bus/street/train does my sanity no good at all. Soon, maybe...

Keep those tips coming, Padboz, I'm definitely going to try some...

have fun Chaotica!

hope to god playgroup is on this week...wish me luck!

argh! this was supposed to be my second ever visit to the village playgroup today and DD2 woke up at 5 with a grotty nappy and wouldnt go back down. She was therefore desperate for sleep by 10.30 and not in a fit state to see anyone. No play group and no tandem nap with dd1.... today might be a long day.

And I needed to get to the shop - nothing but crap in the house to feed them. How much do you need to worry about salt after 12 months? I've got a pack of fresh ravioli stuff here from tesco that dd1 might eat but its bacon and cheese - too salty for a 13 month old even as an emergency? going to have to make something from scratch out of nothing otherwise....

Hi everyone, sorry to hear about your unlucky morning Pad, sometijmes it just goes like doesnt it? Mine have been naughty monkeys too. DD1 seems ONLY happy when she has my total attention I.E if we are in the sitting room and Izzy is there, she will grab my hand abd forcebly take me into the kitchen and then shot the door. When we get in the kitchen, she doesn't want anything, she just kind of leans against a unit as if to say "phew - we're away from she-who-must-not-be-named at last!"

Please re-assure me some more that she will get used to this? IK am thinking of starting her in private nursery just to give us both time off. And maybe she'll benefit anyway?

On a positive note, me and DH are going away to his company conference in April and my parents are having the girls - for TWO nights! And it means I have to buy posh dress for the black-tie affair, and all the goes with. Can I last that long????!!!!!

ha ha Gemy - my eldest likes to shut stair gates on youngest (not on her you understand) so that we're on one side and little one is on the other. On the other hand she persuaded her little sister to snuggle up and look at a book with her long enough for me to wash the floor - this is progress. She pushed her over at bed time tho - two steps forward etc.... (on this point - anyone read sloths shoes - can recommend it).

TWO nights?? wow. only managed one and - this is awful - it was a works christmas do and we went to bed in a hotel having planned on making the best of it - - in TWO SEPARATE DOUBLE BEDS. How awful is that? 1) why do these rooms with 2 double beds in exist? 2) when DP passed out at 4 in the morning on one bed, why did I get in the other? we're still looking at each other suspiciously and questioning if this was the beginning of the end ha ha. We didn't leave the next day til it was dark so we made up for it, still its hardly the much dreamed of night we thought it would be. I assume its normal that the chance to drink ourselves daft and sleep soundly seeming more important than intimacy means we're on the road to separate sheds and bridge nights?

Dress - yay! BUY IT NOW ! ALL THE CHRISTMAS FROCKS ARE ALMOST FREE IN THE SALES. IT WOULD BE AN EXTRAVAGANCE NOT TO!

Padboz, you've got excellent ideas. Love the bath idea especially.

DD is having difficulty sharing toys with her friends then has a tantrum when she doesnt get her own way. I have been ignoring her tantrums, is this right? what's your approach?

Sorry to hear your day's gone pear-shaped, Padboz and I hope you had better luck this week, Supergrrrl -- was the playgroup on? I hope so. I just came back from ours and DD is napping (but DS refuses to).

And cheers, Supergrrl, I had a great time in London yesterday, haven't sat around drinking wine with a friend for far too long. DS behaved too, although I did manage to return with a completely overtired baby. (I'm probably so much fitter for walking around with him in his sling instead of using the buggy... should do that more ofter too.)

Salt? (As you were saying, Padboz) I've relaxed a lot about it once DD got past 12 months in the interests of her eating "grown up" food (ie me and DP not having to cook twice). (I still don't add it to her food though.) Unless there's a kg of it in there, I'd give her the ravioli and be done with it.

Tantrums? I ignore them if it's safe to do so... If it's about sharing toys, I try to replace a toy which has been snatched, or to get the other child to give it back (so your DD doesn't think that it's always her who has to give up the toy). DD is quite good and knows the words for 'turn' and 'share', but she's also recently come out with 'mine!' a lot as well . It takes time, I guess...

And Gemy, GET THE DRESS! It is your duty! (I am so missing wearing nice clothes (or anything that doesn't have sick or porridge on it ).)

Oh Chaotica a glass of wine with a friend sounds like the nearest thing to heaven to me at the moment. Having the crappest of weeks, haven't wanted to post because frankly I'm sick of hearing my own whingy voice! I really want to take my dd's on a train journey, we took them on a little 10 minute one and dd1 loved it, but I'm too scared to do a proper full on, up to London journey, just can't imagine wrestling a Phil and Teds onto a train.

Sorry to hear you were having a crap day on Tues, supergrrl - I would have offered my sympathy sooner, but was a bit of a zombie on Tues! Hope your playgroup was on, and a bit friendlier. Did you ever try the other day? Was it any better (if you did)?

Hello everyone else

DD1 is always trying to organise us at the moment, we call her Charles in Charge ( 80's US sitcom, I believe, I know far too much about bad TV!),she points to my lap, and say's, "Mama, dd2, lap, Daddy, carry, toast"
Our trouble is we're usually so knackered we just do as she say's!

Gemy - BUY DRESS! NOW!!!

What a FANTASTIC day!

Playgroup was on Wed, and i made it my policy to smile wildly at anyone who made eye contact, so i looked friendly (or mental, who knows?!) Another mother did talk to me briefly (no idea what her name was)but she seemed nice.

Today i took DS1 to childminders (he found it hilarious that i was jumping on the way...he can't fathom how to do it, bless him) walked to town (about 25mins) so got some exercise. Met a friend for lunch, then spent £40 on clothes in Primark to fit me until me old clothes fit again. (1 stone of baby weight to go!)
Bought some good posh shampoo and conditioner on offer in Boots, that i would never usually get. DS2 was an angel, and slept most of the time.

I was worried my lovely mood would falter when we were all home later, especially when i found DS1 had only slept for 10mins today...he was grumpy, but i was not. Have had a lush bath, and am now drinking wine and eating Dairy Milk, waiting for Never Mind the Buzzcocks to start.

Am feeling v. positve and i am SURE it will last

Here's to a snuggly, sleep filled night for us all!

Thanks for the tips, wow some crafty people on this thread. And sorry to hear everyone else is suffering with ill LOs and bad weather. This is a rotten time of year to keep them happy.
Well this week is so pants its untrue. Just found out today I might have to apply for my own job as redunancies are likely however just spoken to a colleague and she thinks its v unlikely I will lose job. So hard when you arent in the office on maternity leave, you cant help think people have forgotten about you. Luckily the person doing my cover is crap
DD1 was supposed to be in nursery on wednesday which I was so looking forward to after my dreadful tuesday but then woke up with full-on conjunctivitis so had to stay home. Missed new post-natal exercise class as I felt so ill and had terrible night due to DD1s cold, was up so many times I lost count.
She also seems to be dropping her afternoon nap or maybe its just the cold messing things up??? Please god say it be so...
Umm to end on a positive I have a nice day planned tomorrow at a friends who has a 2 and 3 year old who play so lovely together that it gives me hope every time I see her. She gets to sit back and relax whilst they play and is so chilled out now compared to where she was a year ago - there is hope!!

Go Supergrrrl! Glad to hear you had a good day. I had a good day again too as it happens (aside from a 10 minute stretch when both DD and DS decided to wail plaintively and very loudly in my ears for some reason or another) (they got one ear each). Let's hope tomorrow is as good. (And let's hope all everyone who is having a crap week has a sudden friday improvement) (I wouldn't worry about the sound of your own whining, hazeyjane -- that's why this thread is here!)

Cazwa that is pants news about the job. I don't know what you do (and I'm not a lawyer) but I know that most employers would now be extremely cautious about firing someone who's on maternity leave. That said, I've worked at the same place for five years and didn't get their maternity deal because of a technicality (I could have argued, but I want to go back to work and I'd probably scupper my chances if made a fuss.) ( again (!))

BTW, Cazwa, I've found naps have been messed up by colds before now (and teeth and ears and even playgroup...), so hopefully your daughter will be back to napping soon.

SuperGrrrl what age are your kids? Sounds like you had a fab day. I am trying to start to eat more healthily to lose my baby weight - am too scared to get on the scales at the moment but I really should.

It's relief to my eyes to read that some of you also send your children to a childminder/nursery. My DD still goes to the childminder 3 mornings a week, initially it was to hold her space but after having a CS it wasn't only the fact that I wouldn't feel guilty if we had to stay in on a Mon and Fri it was the daunting prospect of having to chase DD whilst keep a check on DS etc.

Tomorrow I'm attempting to go to toddler group for 10 am then onto a friend's house for 12pm. This will be a huge thing for me if I manage ok!