Sleep training? Yes or no?

[SunnySideUp2020]

Have you tried sleep training?
What did you use?
Did you get help from someone?

Did it work?

My DD sleep regression has been on for over a month now. She is 5 months today.
Wondering if i should sleep train or not?

She used to be a good sleeper before. Now wakes hourly and cries for boob. No shushing, patting, pacifier helps....

Sleep training is a no from me. I'm not comfortable with it. DD is nearly 14 months.

Please don't. It's cruel.

No, her sleep is normal and sleep training doesn't train them to sleep, it just teaches them that help isn't coming and breaks the bond of trust between you. A 5 month old baby needs milk and comfort throughout the night, it's normal.

I think most who are OK with sleep training would say 5 months is too young anyway.

No.

Frequent waking at 5m is normal.
I think sleep training is cruel.

Yes i did sleep training, we went back in every couple of mins to resettle. Took about 3 nights to see a big difference. I also stopped bf in the night and switched to formula for night feeds so dp could help. And used dummies for comfort sucking

I used the method inthe baby whisperer book. Can't remember exactly, but staying in the same darkened room when baby woke and pick up put down until they fell back to sleep. All of mine were reliably sleeping through for 10 hours by 5 months. Very happy, contented, smiley babies.

Sleep training is cruel. It doesn’t train them to sleep, it trains them not to cry because no one will come to them if they do. It isn’t worth it.

No

I guess it depends what you mean by sleep training?
Leaving to cry for ages unattended - no.

I encouraged self settling with a dummy and blanket, mine only slept in cot, stopped night feeds when they could sleep through. No regrets at all.

I did sleep train Dd, but she was 18 months and it was very gentle and I was with her the whole time (I just didn’t breastfeed her to sleep)

Sleep training a 5 month old is cruel. You just teach them that no one is coming to them so they won’t cry. They should be with you for every nap and sleep anyway until they’re 6 months.

A baby needs to wake. It’s normal. You have to suck it up and realise that this is all part of parenting. It does end! Dd is 4.5 now and sleeps through every single night without fail.

Self soothing is developmental. They won't 'learn' to do it with sleep training. It's like riding a bike, they have to have the developmental building blocks there in the first place to be able to do it. This is largely why I don't like sleep training.

No. Read about biologically normal sleep behaviour and you’ll see she’s doing what babies do. Sleeping for longer periods is a developmental thing, as is weaning, walking, talking. She’s waking for a reason and she needs to know her trusted parents are there for her.

If you’re on Facebook look up the Beyond sleep training group.

sarahockwell-smith.com/2014/06/30/self-settling-what-really-happens-when-you-teach-a-baby-to-self-soothe-to-sleep/

We did it - not as early as 5 months - controlled crying and it was transformative.

However, if your baby was previously sleeping through, I would hold off for now as they may go back to it. My babies had woken every 1-2 hours from birth and were blatantly not going to sleep through for a long time without some kind of intervention.

Because someone on here always asks: yes of course I tried cosleeping, I tried everything, and cosleeping was worse for everyone.

Please dont do cry it out. We tried it for 2 nights amd felt the worst parents ever and stopped. It was far too distressing and we regret doing it.

We got advice from our HV to stay in the same room as baby and either hold their hand or gently rub their back/tummy while they go to sleep and if they cry reassure them. Only leave once baby is asleep. If they wake repeat the same but always go in and reassure them you're there you love them etc. Then he got used to that and we just put him in his cot and sat there while he settled himself off to sleep. It took a couple weeks but we had our 14 month going from 6 wakes a night to sleeping through for 11 hours as he learnt how to re settle himself when he woke up in the night. Hes now 18 months and we're all getting good sleep.

@abbs1

Please dont do cry it out. We tried it for 2 nights amd felt the worst parents ever and stopped. It was far too distressing and we regret doing it.

We got advice from our HV to stay in the same room as baby and either hold their hand or gently rub their back/tummy while they go to sleep and if they cry reassure them. Only leave once baby is asleep. If they wake repeat the same but always go in and reassure them you're there you love them etc. Then he got used to that and we just put him in his cot and sat there while he settled himself off to sleep. It took a couple weeks but we had our 14 month going from 6 wakes a night to sleeping through for 11 hours as he learnt how to re settle himself when he woke up in the night. Hes now 18 months and we're all getting good sleep.

This is so child dependent. Mine found this type of approach absolutely enraging. They couldn't handle that we were there but not picking them up or feeding them. They were happier when we went in at intervals, reassured for a while and then left.

As in, not waiting for them to fall asleep

I did. Saved my sanity and would recommend it to anyone. Ignore hysterical parents who say it’s cruel: after a point the only cruelty it’ll not helping your child get enough sleep

@abbs1

Please dont do cry it out. We tried it for 2 nights amd felt the worst parents ever and stopped. It was far too distressing and we regret doing it.

We got advice from our HV to stay in the same room as baby and either hold their hand or gently rub their back/tummy while they go to sleep and if they cry reassure them. Only leave once baby is asleep. If they wake repeat the same but always go in and reassure them you're there you love them etc. Then he got used to that and we just put him in his cot and sat there while he settled himself off to sleep. It took a couple weeks but we had our 14 month going from 6 wakes a night to sleeping through for 11 hours as he learnt how to re settle himself when he woke up in the night. Hes now 18 months and we're all getting good sleep.

CIO only works if you try it for at least 3-5 nights. So yes, if you weren’t prepared to do that no wonder it failed.

@manicpixie but at 5 months the baby is getting enough sleep- they are meant to wake frequently. They are not even meant to sleep away from their parents.

I think sleep training can be massively beneficial to families. There is absolutely no evidence that it's harmful, regardless of what posters on here will tell you. It also categorically doesn't 'just teach them that no one will come', as anyone with a baby or child who was sleep trained and sleeps through unless they're ill/teething/have a nightmare etc will tell you - they still call mum and dad then, so of course they still understand that they're there and will come.

Having said all of that, I do think five months is too young.

Maybe sleep training as such is not what you need OP but guidance on age appropriate naps and sleep schedules could be beneficial?

Our baby is 6 months old and I'm considering purchasing a sleep course from justchillmama as we are all (baby included) really struggling at the moment. He is so grumpy from being tired but we are finding naps really difficult and very early morning wake ups. I guess some would see this as sleep training but I definitely won't be doing CIO etc, I just want some help and knowledge to structure our day and help LO with over tiredness.

[quote Chocolatebuttercream]@manicpixie but at 5 months the baby is getting enough sleep- they are meant to wake frequently. They are not even meant to sleep away from their parents.[/quote]
I did it at 6 months. Whether the OP goes down that route now is up to them I suppose. While waking ‘frequently’ is normal that age, there are clearly degrees of frequency - the most extreme of which can be mentally debilitating to all parties.

OP you will always get people saying its awful and cruel.

There are many variations of sleep training, it doesn't necessarily mean leaving them to cry it out.

We did it at 6 months, using ferber method. It only took 2 nights. DS wasn't waking for feeds as stopped himself at 8 weeks and was just waking and not being able to get himself back to sleep up to 8 times a night 😴 He's 9 months now and sleeps 11/12 hours a night, and has 2 good naps a day. He's much happier, and I'm a much better mum for it.
Do what feels comfortable for you.