Sleep training? Yes or no?

[SunnySideUp2020]

Have you tried sleep training?
What did you use?
Did you get help from someone?

Did it work?

My DD sleep regression has been on for over a month now. She is 5 months today.
Wondering if i should sleep train or not?

She used to be a good sleeper before. Now wakes hourly and cries for boob. No shushing, patting, pacifier helps....

Yes! A life-changer.

There are many variations - it doesn't mean shutting the baby in a room and not going in until morning. We would absolutely have sleep trained after six months as I think it's a priority for everyone to get enough sleep - it's dangerous to be sleep-deprived and the effects are similar to drinking alcohol - have a friend who crashed on the motorway after six months of broken nights with her baby. Sleep training definitely preferable to crashing car!

Emily Oster's Cribsheet book is excellent on the actual evidence for what works and whether it's harmful. You'll get loads of people saying bad idea as the baby will think it's been abandoned but that's based on those poor kids in Romanian orphanages who didn't have anyone respond to them at all, not a baby who is being sleep trained.

I found with the gradual method we used we never had to start again at the beginning if there was anything that stopped him sleeping (teething, illness, holiday, etc) we just took a step backwards in the technique for a day or so then carried on. My friend did CIO and did have to repeat. Sadly she became 'hardened' to him crying.

I also completely agree that in some cases you do have to sleep train. My ds was waking ever 1 1/2 hours and not settling even then - he also only slept in the day if he was moving so I couldn't nap when he napped. I was walking into things, cutting myself, could not make simple decisions and would not have been safe driving or working. However you have to choose the method that suits you and your family and not feel pressurised into doing something or guilty for doing something else.

Sleep training is not cruel, those who think that have probably not done it or really looked into all the different techniques.

Leaving a baby to cry for a long time, is cruel. Leaving a baby to get so worked up that they start doing that rhythmic distressed cry is cruel. And leaving a baby to get so distressed that throw up is cruel to. But that is not sleep training, that is crying it out and not ok in my book (unless it only takes a short while)

I got into the habit of feeding my child to sleep for 2 hours, sometimes more every evening and it was taking its toll, I genuinely believed she wouldn't cope without it. I got to a place of burn out when I had other stuff going on, I put my daughter down and walked out and after theee minutes of whining she fell asleep until the morning. And have been doing this ever since. I would never leave her to get distressed. I've let her realise that she can get to sleep without assistance. This is a good thing as it saves her from getting upset in the night when she wakes as she knows she can sort it.

However, I do think 5 months is a bit young... they don't understand sleep, routine, night time, cause and effect in the way that an older baby would. I'd leAve it a little while longer.

My 5 month old wakes/stirs every hour or so, we mostly manage to settle him back to sleep by putting his dummy back in.

If he wakes up fully we feed him (formula), which is approx every 4 hours.

We’re not doing sleep training yet, his little baby brain can’t link the sleep cycles together yet.

I think it’s normal for a 5 month old to wake/stir every hour, but probably shouldn’t need to be fed every time. How often do you feed in the day? Probably shouldn’t need to be fed more often than that at night. Unless she’s not getting enough milk overall, in which case adding some formula will help hopefully.

We didn't sleep train, her sleep wasn't the worst (though we've had ups and downs and some really tough spells) but the only way that she would sleep till she was nearly 1 was co-sleeping. Same for naps - all contact naps.

We did use a sleep.consultant at 1 as I really needed to have my evenings back and be able to at least put her down in her cot even if she ended up coming in with me later on. The consultant was really good and listened to my concerns and respected that I wasn't going to let her cry at all.

She actually just gave us some suggestions around timings and routine that really worked, she did give us some more sleep training type suggestions too.along the shush pat type lines, but we didn't need them that much because the other stuff worked. She must have just been ready I think, it certainly wouldn't have worked when she was younger.

I was persuaded to try it with my first and really wish I hadn't. It did feel cruel and it didn't work.
Didn't do it with the other two - one was a reasonable sleeper, the other not so much. Was exhausted and they are only 12 months apart so it lasted a while but we got through it and sleep training was not for me.

I actually still feel a bit guilty thinking about it now.

I found all of this to be very helpful when getting DS to sleep at 4/5 months.

There are gentle sleep consultants out there who can provide you with support to improve your babies sleep but with no cry it out etc. It’s very gentle and a whole family focus using things like habit stacking. Lyndsey hookway is a brilliant IBCLC who has lots of gentle sleep advice on her Instagram. I would look for a sleep consultant trained by the holistic sleep coaching program that she teaches. It’s not all or nothing! I would definitely avoid cry it out, it’s disruptive and distressing for everyone involved. Even if you do absolutely nothing your babies sleep will improve by itself. If a sleep consultant is out of your budget lyndsey hookway has written a book too called “let’s talk about your new family’s sleep”. I’ve got a five month old and I found it really useful!

I sleep trained at 6 months and my baby spontaneously combusted.

Oh wait, no he didn’t. He finally slept well and became much happier.

There really is a lot of hysterical bullshit in this thread, as there always is when sleep training is brought up,

Some really strange comments on this thread. I sleep trained my second and will definitely sleep train number three if he needs it when time comes. I waited until 8 months though. I used the gentle sleep training book and that worked really well for us. Never left the room leaving a wailing child. It was a huge time commitment but it worked really well for us.

For contrast I didn't sleep train my first and in hindsight really regret it. She was a lot more tired and so was I and it took her three years to start sleeping through.

Nope. I’ve had more than my share of sleepless nights with dd1 and now dd2 but if my baby is crying I am there. I don’t wait 5 mins or 10. I don’t sit there refusing to touch or pick her up when she needs me. It’s all a phase and passes eventually