Aargh how do I manage my 3 YO and new baby together on my own??

[pendulum]

Sounds pathetic I know... but I'm new to 2!

I have-

DD1- 3Y 6MO, bright, wilful, bouncy and LOUD! Constantly wants to involve me in complex imagination games and crafty stuff (I curse that Mr Maker)

DD2- 9 weeks, cries A LOT, v noise sensitive, won't sleep anywhere except in someone's arms.

Their needs are fundamentally incompatible at the moment and I'm really struggling when on my own with them. They both end up crying because I'm not meeting either of their needs. Oh, and my house is knee-deep in cr*p and dirt because I literally can't put DD2 down (not even to go for a wee).

Anyone got any tips? Or just reassure me that This Too Shall Pass? (if so, how soon )

TIA

You don't sound pathetic at all! I think most mums would struggle with this situation, I know I would (and did but my two are two years apart).

Have you tried carrying the baby round in a sling instead of your arms? Can you put her in her cot while you have a wee, it won't hurt her to cry for a couple of minutes and you need some personal space! or in her baby seat in the bathroom so she can still see you?

Will she sleep in the car? I used to take my two out on long drives to get them both to sleep in the afternoon. Once I was so frustrated I set off with a full tank of petrol determined to drive to Scotland if needs be! But I suppose at 3.5 your son doens't need a nap any more, but would he be entertained by playing I spy etc. of listening to tapes/CD's in the car. Or leave her asleep in the car in the drive whilst you play in the garden when you get back?

Also does he do playgroup or nursery? My DS (also 3.5) started school nursery this Sept. Is that an option where you live? He should be entitled to 5 free 2.5 hour sessions at his age.

it will pass!

would second the sling thing - had DS3 in one every evening for a few weeks at this age as I couldn't cook tea for the older ones with him crying all the time

Don't worry about the housework - that will still be there when the baby situation has calmed down

do you have any friends with similar aged children? Get them round and the older ones can entertain each other while you have a chat

does the older one go to pre school?

It does get easier, you're right in the thick of it at the moment. If your baby doesn't like noise, that must make it so hard with a three year old.

I found that after a few more weeks babies start to enjoy just watching older ones play and that as toddlers got older they became easier to reason with.

Have you got a chair in the kitchen where your baby can see and watch you all. I've got 12 wk old dd and she does stop crying to watch her big brothers eating or doing play doh.

With your nb, could you either put her moses basket downstairs & warm it with a hot water bottle, so she gets used to every day noise & has warmth, or use a baby carrier/sling?

Or prop her in a baby chair/give her tummy time on a mat to watch what you and ds are up to?

thanks for replies

DD1 does go to preschool 4 mornings a week thank God- it's the other times that I am struggling with

I have just bought a front carrier and it does help sometimes to soothe DD2 to sleep, altho can't get down on floor with DD1 while wearing it. she doesn't have a moses basket because the noise of the wicker moving wakes her up

maretta, it's encouraging that you think your DD has become more interested in her brothers in the last few weeks. I was kind of counting on DD2 finding her sister fascinating so that she would happily sit in the chair and let me get on with stuff.

hi - i've got dd1 who is 2yr 10mo and dd2 who is 16wks. i make sure that we have something planned every day - seeing friends/family, soft play, park with dd2 in buggy, play dough, shops etc.

sod the housework - just do the essentials. dd2 is fascinated with dd1 and will laugh and giggle at her antics. so it does get easier

put the baby in sling. I had dd 3 yrs and 1 month, ds1, 21 months and a new baby ds2.
It will pass. One day they will be filthy hulking teenagers who grunt at you