What do you do when one child does without complaint what an other has to be begging, cajoled & priased for doing?

[Katymac]

Child (10) eats with us 5 times a week & never eats veggies

Gradually over some weeks/months she has starting trying occasional ones and has discovered that if she eat veggies with meat/potato they can't be tasted

So we have a big celebration when she achieves as she will go back to not eating anytime the pressure isn't on

DD eats everything that is put in front of her without issue or discussion

It's unfair
I know it's unfair
I say "Ahh but you are always good"
I discuss the prodigal son
I say she's my baby and we don't need to talk about veggies

But it doesn't work

Help?

DD is mine & perfect & wonderful etc & has been eating veggies for best part of 9.5 yrs

Other child is guest & awkward & I feel any veg eating is a major step

eg other child is acting like 3 yo not 10 yo

It is so frustrating

can't you praise them both?
or do a sticker chart and give whoever eats their veggies a sticker?

I did all that when DD was 3

It's like having an almost teenager and a 3 yo

You couldn't do a sticker chart could you

I mean DD would get 3 per meal no question

Whereas other child might get 1 or 2 a week

other child is a guest and is not your problem. Is your dd eating veggies because she feels she has to or because she likes them? Sounds like the later from what you say, therefore doesn't need praise. Guest presumably doesn't like them, continue to offer, but say nothing regardless of whether eaten or not.

I guess I do wonder why you feel that it is your role to change her eating habits. If she is a "guest" then whether or not she eats her vegetables isn't really an issue for you to address, unless her parents have asked you to.

But fwiw I have one child who eats practically anything. He gets invited on playdates purely to demonstrate the art of finishing what is on one's plate. Ds2 is far fussier. Have you come across the theory of "supertasters", ie there are those who taste things more intensely than others, so what might be a mild pleasant taste for most, could be very intense and bitter for a supertaster.

To a certain extent I accept them as they are, which means that ds1's diet is slightly restricted at home to accomodate ds2's fussiness (but I know that he can choose from a wide selection at school). I continue to serve up new food to both from time to time, though accepting it may well be refused especially by ds2. If I have served a meal that I expect both dcs to finish, then no more food is on offer.

Childminder therefore position is less clear

OFSTED's view on healthy eating requires a certain level of encouragement, along with parental pressure (tho' why I should when they haven't)

except - I am having an effect veggies eaten 3 days this week

That was an answer to my own question - iyswim

ofsted is a pile of cack - encourage guest when they come to visit (ie never when you are having meals I guess).
parents - tell them that you always offer veggies with meal and you can't make the child eat them, as they will appreciate.

humm, I guess what I am saying is beside the point really, the point is that your wonderful dd isn't getting recognition for her behaviour when the poxy mindee is getting recognition for crap behaviour.
Is your dd unhappy about this?

Yes - she is pissed off

I keep saying that DD can cook her own food, choose from the adult menu, order food in french, is polite enough to eat something she doesn't really like so why would she care about eating/not eating veggies - but she does

I guess I can ask her to pick the veggies for the meal & prepare them, so she has control