Toilet training a 4.5yr old!

[Ronee]

Hello all!

I am at my wits end 🤯😩 I have a 4.5yr old that has regressed in his toilet training. Not once in 7 days has he even attempted to go to the toilet! He just poo’s and wee’s in his pants. When I ask him why he just says ‘I’m was just busy mum’???? 😩 I have tried reward charts that worked well. We are still doing it but he doesn’t seem to care about it anymore. I have ust kept my cool and cleaned him up a lot of the time. I have yelled a few times sadly. I have taken away the TV, Toys, activities, play dates but he doesn’t seem worried at all about it. I’m all out of ideas now 😩

Have you tried putting him on the loo every half an hour? If you keep interrupting him to go, he’ll hopefully soon learn it’s less hassle to go when he needs to than to constantly have you trying him on the loo.

Give him the tasks of cleaning after it, incl washing clothes or at least rinsing by hand.
Keep at it even if it’s not practical, so that he appreciates this as natural consequences.

Are there special needs? People often recommend the ERIC website though I know nothing about it.

I would do my best not to shame your child for accidents.

Have you tried bare bum at home as per the No Crap approach?

How was he before the regression? Is there any big change going on in his life? Starting school in September? My daughter has had a few regressions, usually when something else has been going on (new sibling, back to nursery after lockdown) and we've just tried to ride them out without stressing (as much as possible, difficult I know!!) and she's improved by herself.

Is he constipated?