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Original poster

Is this an acceptable thing for OH to do?

83 replies

wookneecorn · 09/08/2021 18:58

DSD is 11 and young for her age. She gave her password away and was 'hacked'. Here is a link to that thread for the details www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4314789-DSD-hacked-on-moviestarplanet

Friends of mine have children who were 'hacked' the same way and didn't have the reciepts anymore. When they used contact us they couldn't get their accounts back, the staff were difficult, for example sending scripted responses. So I decided not to bother.

I told DSD to perhaps find another game, but MovieStarPlanet is really important to her and she was admant that nothing else interests her as much.

She'd lost all her in-game currency from the previous round of VIP (the game's membership) she'd had, as well as all her items that she'd bought etc, just all the perks on her account from having previously been VIP belong to the 'hacker' now and she's had to start over on a new account with nothing.

DSD was pestering us for VIP on a new account, promising that she wouldn't give her password out again. Which we believed, we thought she would have learned her lesson after losing something so important to her. Yesterday partner and I decided to get her a years VIP on a new account. It cost £65 and we payed half each. I payed my half into OH's bank account (and as it's relevant, we're not married) and he entered his details. A reciept was sent to his email which I don't have access to.

DSD has been 'hacked' today by giving her password away again. She was honest with us this time. She said she had contacted a friend she had on her old account who she'd been talking to for several months, and that the friend had offered to give DSD account a 'makeover'. The 'friend' changed DSD's password and has taken over the account.

She trusted someone she considered to be a friend. Even though I had spoken to her previously about not trusting 'friends' on the internet, I can see why she did. Now that she has had such an experience with a 'friend' online, I wanted to forgive her and get her access back to the account.

However, OH doesn't want to give DSD access. He thinks that by not giving DSD access, she is more likely to learn her lesson, and not expect us to pay for VIP on new accounts in future.

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 09/08/2021 19:34

I'm with your OH. She needs to learn this, or she is incredibly vulnerable online.

Sxxyfing · 09/08/2021 19:36

Your 11 year old is talking to strangers on the Internet and considers them friends......... I think the password hack is the least of your worries

Lumpwoody · 09/08/2021 19:39

Yeah sorry I’m with your OH. And you need to be upping your internet safety chats too

Interested in this thread?

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11 year olds Families General parenting
WTFuckery · 09/08/2021 19:41

I'd have only let her back the second time on condition she didn't get the password herself, and when she wanted to play she asks you or her dad to log in for her.

Im with your husband on this one.

NoSquirrels · 09/08/2021 19:45

Well, if your DH is the account holder he can change the password again.

But I wouldn’t pay for anything else related to this. She’s been really untrustworthy, apart from anything else. Trust is big in our house. She was trusted NOT to do something- and she did it. Now she needs to understand the consequences of that.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 09/08/2021 19:47

You'd be an idiot to let her keep playing after that! She's clearly not old enough to handle it.

WTFuckery · 09/08/2021 19:48

Dd used to play it, it's a club penguin type genre for those who don't know what it is but more

One of my rules at that age was that she only plays and chats to people online that she knows and I checked at that age too. If she went against those rules then all online privileges would gone, YouTube, Spotify, Netflix the lot.

When she is allowed back on (which would not be for ages if it were my dd) she needs supervising on social games and anything that involves interacting with strangers until she's proved she's responsible and understand how dangerous dishing out passwords to people she's never met is.

mynameisbrian · 09/08/2021 19:49

As everyone else has said she wasnt hacked, she gave away her details. Not only the password for moviestar planet but for them to also change the password means she must have given them her password for the email too. Twice is once too many times. So i wouldnt be purchasing it again...

StepladderToHeaven · 09/08/2021 19:50

I agree with WTFuckery - my DC are only allowed to play online with people they know IRL.

Muckles · 09/08/2021 19:50

That's not what being hacked means.

She's daft and clearly should not be given another chance.

WTFuckery · 09/08/2021 19:50

Also, it's not hacked if she gave the password away. More like been taken advantage of.

PlanDeRaccordement · 09/08/2021 19:51

@idril

It's not about forgiving and punishments - it's about her not being mature enough to handle the responsibility. So I'd not be allowing her access but I wouldn't present it to her as a punishment.
This is my thought too. Find another game....there are many more. Perhaps buy a used PS4 and deactivate the online bit so she plays games on a games console that are saved to it and can’t be compromised. She is simply not ready.
nimbuscloud · 09/08/2021 19:52

Yes. It was completely acceptable for her father to do this.

knittingaddict · 09/08/2021 20:01

I hope this isn't a reverse op. They are a daft way to get feedback and annoy people.

knittingaddict · 09/08/2021 20:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 09/08/2021 20:04

Team OH here

I suggest internet “games” are off the agenda for some time. Your dd is clearly not mature enough.

knittingaddict · 09/08/2021 20:08

Ignore my previous post. I got two threads mixed up and thought op was posting as a man for some reason. I've reported my post.

3WildOnes · 09/08/2021 20:08

Does she have special needs? I really can’t imagine my 10 year olds behaving like this. Recover the account and then only allow her supervised access.

TDMN · 09/08/2021 20:09

OP please take this as the close call it was and dont let her back on the game full stop... im not sure you realise how serious this behaviour was and how lucky you both are it wasnt worse.... i would have thought she was of the age to have learnt about internet safety at school?

She's talking to strangers online (she's a bit young to be using the internet unsupervised, how come she's talking to people she doesnt know?)
She has been told not to do something and has done it AGAIN even after receiving consequences last time
She's giving out password info - what other info does she not realise is an absolute NO to giving out online? Is she giving out home address/phone number?

This person was just after money but there are some really scary people online and she's proving she isnt old or responsible enough to be trusted to be safe unfortunately. Take this as the lesson it is and be thankful it wasnt work and maybe see if theres some internet safety websites aimed at parents and kids her age you can read into. It can be hard to know whats the right level of involvement but better safe than sorry...

knittingaddict · 09/08/2021 20:09

In case this isn't a reverse, I'm on the husband's side.

Flowers500 · 09/08/2021 20:12

Does she have additional needs? Otherwise I can’t imagine how any child over the age of 6 can be so repeatedly stupid and gullible. You need to stop spaffing your money up the wall!!! She wasn’t “hacked” and you shouldn’t indulge her in thinking she was—she’s just been an absolute idiot over and over again. She’s clearly shown herself to be untrustworthy and easy to manipulate, she shouldn’t be on the internet at all if she’s going to act like this. She shouldn’t be playing games and interacting with people she doesn’t know if she’s going to make herself a walking target for every scammer. No way in hell would I be helping her recover her account so she could go be an idiot again…

Starjammer · 09/08/2021 20:14

I'd be very concerned about the friends she is making online at 11 years old. Is there any vetting to verify these are children? I doubt it. Is she allowed unsupervised chatting with them?

FATEdestiny · 09/08/2021 20:18

(1) Do a password reset
(2) Regain control of the account
(3) Do not tell DSD the new password, ever.
(4) Allow only limited and supervised use of the account, whereby she has to ask you to sign in, since she cannot know the password.

Then you don't waste the money spent. If you don't mind the loss of money, write it off and do not allow another account to be opened.

ElvisPresleyHadABaby · 09/08/2021 20:29

You need better internet supervision and to stop babying your daughter. If no SEN, she sounds very immature for her age, and hugely vulnerable to online predators, which platforms like MSP are breeding grounds for, as the target demographic is young and gullible.

She needs to be safeguarded and not allowed access until she has proven herself to be more mature and not at risk for exploitation. This is absolutely imperative. I'll link below a heartbreaking case of a boy groomed online who was later murdered, even though his Mum fought tooth and nail to protect him. Give your DD the tools and resilience to navigate the internet safely.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/education-48967202

godmum56 · 09/08/2021 20:31

I agree with the "least of your problems" thing. She needs protecting from herself!