Talk me out of being broody for dc3

[Octopuscrazy]

I thought I was done. Totally and completely done. I can think of all the reasons NOT to have a third. Financial (we can afford it but will need bigger car, bigger house), energy (I already feel tired from the 2 I have), the teenage years won't be fun...

Up until a month ago, I was definitely not having more. 100%. Two is plenty. Two is enough. They're 5 and 2.5 now. They get on well and I have a girl and a boy. We are comfortable and happy. The younger one has just started sleeping through (but still not consistently).

So why? Why is my heart saying have another?!

Please talk me out of it. My head says no, but my heart says yes.

I need help.

He's a joy by the way, but very noisy.

Sorry but my third is pure joy. I can't tell you how much happiness she brings.

I'm currently pregnant with my third (DD 3 years, Ds 19 months). When pregnant with Ds I really thought I would be done at 2 and our family would be complete, however the broodiness settled in when he was about 9 months.
I know I will definitely stop at three though as the thought of looking after 4 kids scares me. No idea what I would've done if this one had been twins.

We didn't get a bigger house or car when we had a third, they all fit in our three bed semi fine and we take two cars if we all need to travel together, which is rare. The third is the absolute love of my life - do it! I definitely do not want any more though, the broodiness has definitely gone.

There's no pro reason to really have a third other than you want one. I knew I wanted a third so we had another sooner than later. Don't get to the better stage when they're past babies and have a newborn. My third completed is and is the light of my life, but no interest in the newborn stage now. But I know I would have always wanted another if I hadn't had him

Feeling the exact same here with a 3yo and a 6 yo. I think we will stop at two though. I want to be financially comfortable, work part time and have lots of one on one time. All that could be managed with three, but my partner works long hours, so most of it would be on me. I always, always have a pang when I see a baby or a toddler though. That can be really hard, but I know I am making the right decision for the kids that I have. They suit being in a smaller family.

I feel the same way as you, semi broody for another. However I think we will stop at two and the reasons I focus on are

• Possibility of twins
• Impact on the family should DC3 be sick or have a disability
• Pregnancy and birth, both temporary and possible long term effects on me
• Future for children - none really because of climate change

I think I'll quit while I'm ahead.

I was like you, only looking at no.4. We went for it, and call our youngest our luxury extra, i.e., she’s expensive, unnecessary, and objectively unjustifiable… but, well, she makes our lives better.

That said, once you get past two, everything becomes more expensive harder… all the things previous posters have already said. The one time I really wish I’d stuck at two is fairly area specific - when dc2 came out of his Kent Test, I realised if I’d stopped at two children we’d never have to go through the stress of that again. Oddly, I don’t feel the same way about GCSEs and A levels.

On the positive side, my dc all said to me that they were very grateful to be a large family during last summer’s lockdown. But I’m not sure the possibility of a global pandemic is really a good reason to have another child!

We have 3 - love it… only thing is I still found myself wanting one more . We have stopped at 3 but I would have still have loved 1 more.

When this inevitably happens to me I plan on getting a kitten.

Third kids don't give a fuck. They are an absolute riot. Our dc3 is the reason the other 2 spend time together.

Do you have a tumble dryer?

My third was (and still is) a joy for all of us. Older sisters were 6 and 8 when she arrived.

Slightly different angle here but I’m the oldest of 3 and hated having two siblings growing up, absolutely hated it (wish nothing bad on either of them obviously though not now anyway)
My parents were stretched emotionally and financially and one of us was always the odd one out, always 2 vs 1 in any scenario.
We had our own rooms but I felt there was never any breathing room in our house or a chance for alone time with parents.
For this reason I said I’d only ever have 2!

I felt like this when dc2 was tiny (ie under a year old). Could not shake the feeling of wanting a third even though dc2 was a difficult baby.

Parenting second time around did me in. I didn’t feel (and still don’t really) feel like I did a good job, and knew I could t stretch myself any further.

We know we can give two children a nice life, but honestly, three felt like it would be a compromise for us all. Of course I’m sure we would totally say that no3 would’ve been loved and completed our family etc but we felt lucky with two healthy happy pregnancies and children and thought a third might be pushing our luck.

Now they are both junior school age we love it. Do not envy friends with younger kids at all. We have a 2.5 year age gap and it works well. Occasionally the gap seems to get bigger if dc1 all of a sudden seems to mature disproportionately quickly but it’s usually temporary and then they are back at a comfortable gap again. I could not imagine having a littler one to cater to and still trying to keep dc1 happy.

Life is good with two. We do give them a nice life and future help and support feels manageable emotionally and financially.

Everyone I know with three is run ragged. Exhausted and at least one of the kids has behaviors issues. Without exception. Every single family of three kids. Funnily enough, those with four children seem fine!!!

We’ve got 1 and are aiming for 2. The idea of corralling 3 is horrifying, but who knows how we’ll feel in a few years. I think economics will decide for us.

My mum said you regret the baby you didn’t have, not the one you did.

Utter emotive bollocks obviously but it was all the justification I needed for my third. She’s feral, the house is a disaster and I haven’t slept in a decade. I’d not change a thing.

I had one more - egg split and now i have toddler twins who can climb anything and fight over everything

I admire anyone who can do more than 2 well. I know I couldn't.

@SleepingStandingUp

I had one more - egg split and now i have toddler twins who can climb anything and fight over everything

Good point. No 3 might be twins.

That sounds tough sleepingstandingup hope you come out the other side ok.

Never imagined I'd have 3.
3rd baby is an absolute delight. He fit straight in.
He's bought us all closer together.
My eldest 2 adore him. They're 9 & 6.

@PieceOfString

That sounds tough sleepingstandingup hope you come out the other side ok.

Did I forget to add wake in the middle of the night and refuse to go back down? 1 am t1 was up from this morning. I love them dearly but dear god i need sleel

sleeping oh blimey, I really hope that changes for you.

Me too 🤣🤣

I’m just sick of preparing food for people. The thought of an extra mouth to feed just makes me so glad the universe stepped in and gave me only two. Plus the mess. I’m so sick of the mess.