Did children of the 70s/80s go to baby groups?

[summertime232]

It feels like there’s so much pressure these days to entertain your kids, taking them to baby groups and classes and putting on lots of fun, stimulating and educational activities, followed by the obligatory photos on social media.

Has it always been like this for mums or were babies in the “old” days (by which I’m talking 1970s, 80s or even 90s, so not that long ago!) left to their own devices more?

I’m just curious because I feel pressurised to be filling my toddler’s days with wonderful experiences and know I’m falling short.

I was born in the 60s and went to playgroup at 3ish. My DC were born mid 80s/early 90s and we went to Toddler group at a church hall from birth, then they could start actual Playgroup at 2 1/4 but only if potty trained. That was run by the Pre School Playgroups Association and we had to pay for every session. No free childcare back then. Plus you had to be on a rota to help, which I really hated. By the time we sent DC3, DH worked shifts and took our turn on the rota.

Eldest went to Tumble Tots and our local sports centre did a morning of equipment and bouncy castle etc that we went to. That was too much once I had 3 under 4 as I couldn't watch all of them.

We also went swimming regularly, until they brought in a rule that you could only take 2 under 5s - might actually have been under 8, and DC1 was 5 1/2 when I had DC4.

Most of the other mums I knew were SAHM at least until their children were about 4, so you had to have something to do. Everyone who lived on my estate seemed to have their mum and sisters round the corner so I had to drive everywhere. I don't miss those days.

OP, my mum felt like you in the 80s (didn't know anyone etc) and she ended up helping set up the local playgroup.

It might seem like a lot of work, but if you contact your local council (or frankly, church - because they run these things all over the country!) they'll be able to give you advice. And you will definitely meet people!

A friend’s daughter put a request on Facebook for friends with babies in her area, six years ago. She got lots of requests and a few are still close friends. You could perhaps put something on that Neighbourhood site and choose a few you have something in common with.

There were nurseries in the 80s, my brothers and I all went to one and my Mum worked there in the 90s. Most of my primary school friends were children I had known at nursery.

It was the same as what some PPs are calling "play school" and are often known as pre-school these days. We went for either morning or afternoon sessions 5x per week.

My babies were born late eighties and early 90s. One went in a crèche sometimes so I could do a class and the youngest went to a church hall play group. Other than that they didn't do any activities or groups outside of paid nursery so I could work until they were old enough for brownies or swimming lessons.

Late 70s baby - church playgroups, coffee mornings, mum and baby swimming, library story time, my mum ran an NCT group but that was mostly for the mums!

The informal church hall type playgroups stopped in the late 90s/early 2000s with the advent of Ofsted regulation, risk assessments, H&S and so on.

But they were also a product of a time when not just most mothers, but most women generally didn’t work outside the home - so older ladies often ran them in church halls a few days a week for nominal fees. I went to one at the local Lutheran church where it was nursery rhymes and a sandpit and some stories and a biscuit - long enough for my mum to pop to the shops or similar.

I remember sitting outside at playgroup, listening to a story, and looking up and seeing a big airship go overhead - not an uncommon occurrence. (Later in life I wondered if it was some kind of screen memory or something I’d made up, and looked it up: apparently we were directly under one of the last commercial airship routes.)

Anyway, OP, my DD is 8 and now can’t remember anything from before she was about three! I often say “do you remember we used to go to an baby class there?” And she just shrugs. So much for the enriching baby sensory classes and making memories 😂

@summertime232

Also, as a FTM I don’t understand - why do a lot of these things seem to be term time only?

Because often halls are used for out of school care in holidays. Many groups also attract mums of second children. Many won't sign up to a block of classes it they know they'll miss some because they have another child to look after.

@ImNotWhoYouThinkIam

There were nurseries in the 80s, my brothers and I all went to one and my Mum worked there in the 90s. Most of my primary school friends were children I had known at nursery.

It was the same as what some PPs are calling "play school" and are often known as pre-school these days. We went for either morning or afternoon sessions 5x per week.

Playschools / playgroups were a whole lot less formal and cheaper than nurseries. Mums were often expected to take their turn at helping out.

Nurseries don't expect mums to take a turn at helping out. Nurseries also offer full day care as opposed to 2/ 2.5 hour sessions.

Early 70s here. As a baby I lived outside in the pram with the radio on and a hot water bottle if it was cold. I didn’t come in until mum had finished her jobs. I went to Playschool at 4 and school at 5.

I am an extrovert with lots of marvellous friends and a good job. Missing on groups didn’t seem to harm me.

Op I think you might be as well to put on your local FB page that you are looking to meet other new mums, for walk in Park and coffee. Let it evolve naturally from there.

Look out for any buggy walks that might be good for chatting.

I'm 99.9% certain that the type of nursery school I am talking about wasn't fee paying. It was staffed by qualified nursery nurses.

My comparison to what other people were calling playschool was purely a comparison to the time we spent there. 5 half day sessions per week.
I don't think we had any thing here where children would be dropped off and left. We had "toddler groups" which parents stayed at. Nursery, as mentioned above. Then school.

My DC (born 2004, 2006) did the same. Although there were more and more paid for groups starting up eg baby massage, baby signing, music groups etc.

I think my mum and other local mums did have get togethers and church groups and such like in the 60s and 70s. However outside this, as babies and toddlers we also spent a lot of time strapped in prams or pushchairs out in the drying greens watching the world go by.

We didn't have many toys either.

Lots of classes for me in 80s

I vaguely remember playgroup at maybe 3 years old (early 80’s), my mum would leave me there. We had carrot sticks and a rich tea biscuit and weak orange squash at snack time :) I suppose it was like preschool.
If there were things like baby groups and baby yoga and baby music etc etc, my parents wouldn’t have been able to afford to send us anyway! But I don’t think so. There were a few things going on after school. I was a Brownie!

I'm 99.9% certain that the type of nursery school I am talking about wasn't fee paying. It was staffed by qualified nursery nurses.

Who paid for it? Qualified Staff wouldn't work for nothing unlike low cost playgroups, who maybe had a mix of staff and rota'd mums.
What you are describing sounds more like a formal nursery rather than an informal playgroups.

Not that it really matters to the Op who's looking for places to make friends.

I assume it was council funded. Much like the nursery/preschool my dcs attended.

And you're right. It's completely irrelevant to the OP. But it was in response to someone saying nurseries didn't exist in the 80s. They did. Because I went to one. And I'm fairly certain my parents couldn't have afford to send 3 dc to nursery if it wasn't funded somehow.

I was taken to a couple of play groups in the early/mid 70’s. During the summer holidays the play group mums used to rent a double decker bus and take us out maybe once a week. Nowhere fancy, just country parks a big further afield from where we lived. There was of course no baby yoga/massage/ballet/music/swim in that era

OP where do you live? There might be a MNer local to you who would like to meet up!
Try the local churches, don't need to be religious, their playgroups are usually open to all. Your library might run parent and child storytime. Soft play usually have baby areas, I made a good friend at our local one. You definitely don't need to be pressured to be on a social whirligig, but having a few parents to meet up with really breaks up the day!

Late 80s we had mum and toddler groups NCT coffee mornings toy library etc

@ImNotWhoYouThinkIam

I assume it was council funded. Much like the nursery/preschool my dcs attended.

And you're right. It's completely irrelevant to the OP. But it was in response to someone saying nurseries didn't exist in the 80s. They did. Because I went to one. And I'm fairly certain my parents couldn't have afford to send 3 dc to nursery if it wasn't funded somehow.

Yes. Both my dc in the 80's went to council funded nursery school. You were given a morning or afternoon session. It was only for one year though age 4 until starting school at 5. I also took dc to toddler groups, meet a mum, gymnastics, swimming, storytime at the library and a french class. Soft play was just starting up in 1990. There were lots of organised activities. In the summer holidays the local church ran activities weeks which were amazing and really cheap. Dropped the dc at 9.30 and fetched them at 4. Wouldn't pass risk assessments now. I lived in Bucks at the time though.

My db in 1964 went to a full time nursery from age 2 as dm worked.

Hopefully more toddler groups in church halls will begin to open back up in the autumn.

Having said that 20years ah when I had my first I went along once a week for a year to a toddler group and didn't speak to anyone because everyone was already in a group. Every week for a year I sat there on my own watching my DC. It was bloody horrible. I'm quite chatty person so it was all a bit odd. As I didn't have a car I was very limited as to what I could get to, but we did have an amazing parents center close by that I also went to once a week, with amazing staff and fantastic activities. I'm not sure they exist anymore as i think funding was stopped.

The thing is your baby doesn't need to go to a million classes, but you do need adult interaction.

You could still join the NCT now, even if you didn't do their antenatal classes. When dc were little they had 'bumps and babies' meet ups at people's houses so these may have restarted.

Agree that especially when children are very small, it’s more important for the mums than the children. Such groups were a lifeline for me when I was on mat leave- having a baby in the last 18 months must have been far tougher than usual

My mum took me and my brother to baby and toddler groups. My dad wasn't allowed into the one they went to in Wales because he was a man. That was 1980.

As a young child we definitely had things like brownies and majorettes as organised clubs. Plus sport of music.

@ImNotWhoYouThinkIam maybe it was council funded but right at the very start of council funded nursery. Now that I think about it my primary school had a nursery class before I left in the mid 80s that didn't exist when I started.
When did universal 'preschool' become a thing?