Did children of the 70s/80s go to baby groups?

[summertime232]

It feels like there’s so much pressure these days to entertain your kids, taking them to baby groups and classes and putting on lots of fun, stimulating and educational activities, followed by the obligatory photos on social media.

Has it always been like this for mums or were babies in the “old” days (by which I’m talking 1970s, 80s or even 90s, so not that long ago!) left to their own devices more?

I’m just curious because I feel pressurised to be filling my toddler’s days with wonderful experiences and know I’m falling short.

No-my mum didn’t in the 70s. It was more walks with the pram with a woman she met at baby weighing clinic! She had a lot of siblings/cousins with children and I think tended to get together with them instead.

I never felt pressured into talking mine to anything tbh. It's optional. Why do you feel pressure to do things?

Because everyone else seems to and I don’t want my DC to miss out! Plus I’m really keen to meet other mums but am finding it hard.

@summertime232

Also, as a FTM I don’t understand - why do a lot of these things seem to be term time only?

Because parents with older children at,school tend to be busy during the holidays.

@summertime232

Also, as a FTM I don’t understand - why do a lot of these things seem to be term time only?

Probably because they are run by or have a high percentage of people attending who also have school age kids so attendance/staffing would be low in the holidays as they couldn’t have another 50% 5-13s running around trampling on the small people. Add into that people going away on holiday etc

@summertime232

Also, as a FTM I don’t understand - why do a lot of these things seem to be term time only?

Because of volunteers having older children

@summertime232

Also, as a FTM I don’t understand - why do a lot of these things seem to be term time only?

I run one. They are often run as franchises and a big attractions for those owning and running is the fact that they can be at home with their own kids in school holidays. Also you can’t commit to getting people to come through the hols due to going away etc. Just not viable commercially.

That all makes sense, thanks!

Early 80s baby here. Toddler group once a week from about 18 months and then playgroup twice as a week from 3. Both in the same village hall.

None of the drop in style playgroups/stay and plays or church hall groups have restarted here post Covid, the two local children centres have pretty much got the shutters up so not sure what the future holds for them.

Dcs born late 80's/early 90's. There was a local mother and toddler group in the church hall. The church only asked for a token contribution towards the cost of heating and lighting. A bit later, there was playgroup at the same place. Then school. There definitely wasn't the same pressure then to timetable every minute of a baby/toddler's day.

If you are looking to meet other local mums, have you tried the Peanut or Mush apps? They are quite good but you might have to reach out and initiate contact with some of the other mums.

Do your Local Authority run any free groups or classes at all? I know some LA are really good and have a busy programme, although slightly scaled back for August. You could also have a look on Eventbrite to see if your local library are running anything. Near to me we have storytime and various other free things on over the summer, as well as a Rhymetime that seems to be in several parks. I guess it's the luck of the draw though depending on where you live.

OP I could've written almost all of your posts! My daughter is 10 months and I've not been to any groups yet as where I live we've been in so many lockdowns since she was born and still in restrictions now. Coincidentally I live near a church hall and emailed them today to ask about groups and they said one is starting back in Sept so I plan on going to that. I've not bothered till now as where I live you still have to wear masks everywhere and I don't see how I could make friends wearing a mask and socially distancing. I have found the last 10 months quite lonely and isolating so I feel it is about time I went to a group. I also regret not doing NCT but it was all on zoom when I could do it and I didn't see how I would make friends over that either. It has been hard

I was an early 80’s baby and I went to playgroup. Think that was about it though!

One of our local Churches runs a parent and baby group .. now restarted after Covid.

Lots of similar groups run by volunteers.

I remember soft play in the 80s was once a week the council leisure centre put up a bouncy castle (it was blue) in the sports hall for an hour, there weren’t dedicated soft play centres with equipment like there is now. And I definitely remember story time with weak squash and a biscuit after.

Sometimes my mum would do an aerobics class (with a leotard and cycling shorts and a shell suit to go there and back in!) and the kids would all just sit at the side of the class playing.

@summertime232

Thanks for the responses. It just seems to be an entire industry these days, and I didn’t know whether that was always the case! In some ways it’s probably a good thing, but I also feel a lot of pressure to do “fun” stuff and “live my best life” and then feel inadequate when I don’t.

I feel you. Many people hate all those things Don't feel under pressure Your baby just needs you. Not massage or tumble tots or whatever

Mid 80s I remember going to a couple of different play groups a week in church halls. I went to 'play school' a couple of mornings a week when I was 3 or 4, it was run mostly by mums but you dropped your kid off. 80s version of preschool. When
my kids were small late 00s early 10s there were still church hall playgroups but classes like baby sensory, music etc seemed to really be taking off. I always preferred taking them to the church hall playgroup to the classes and they seemed to have more fun! Plus it was something ridiculous like 50p to get in!

Remember in the 70s and 80s their was no pre-school nurseries that gap was filled by playgroups.

Many mums were SAHPs partly because of the little pre-school provision.

The baby group industry is fuelled by working mums having more free cash and longer maternity leave and older babies in nurseries / preschool so they are able to take baby to £££ groups.

That said I never really did £££ baby groups. When they got to about 3 I let them try sports groups.

First child born in 1983 went to my sil as she was a child minder, then nursery attached to school at three years. Second., 1986 was childminded by a neighbour/close friend who had her own child. H and I were both teachers and worked full time but we took them swimming and of course had school holidays to get out and about with them. We moved, then second went to a playgroup twice a week for a couple of hours in the morning. Mums helped out on a rota basis. I can’t remember any actual organised activities. Then myself and a friend looked after each other’s children so they always had friends to play with while us mums were working.
With the third 1989, I did supply teaching and could then take him to a toddler group where the kids played and the mums chatted, once a week. His childminder took him to Tumble Tots once a week and she also had her own child. He also went to a playgroup on a couple of mornings, this one had more organised activities. Can’t remember what it cost but not expensive.

With all of them we mixed with other mums and children on an informal basis, even if it was just sharing a car to the supermarket.

Childcare for pre schoolers nowadays is big business and so many mums now work. I think maybe a lot of groups such as baby massage and sensory play are very much for the mums to meet other mums. Life with a new baby and other little ones can be quite isolating. I know it came as a huge shock to me, living on a new housing estate, having worked full time and not knowing the neighbours. My break through came when a lovely neighbour knocked on the door to make friends.

The important thing is making sure mums and children are happy and getting social interaction. Getting together with other mums and children at home, the park etc can be good fun and a lot cheaper. Some children cope better in less formal situations, though I agree most places nowadays seem to favour more organised play, probably to justify their high fees!

Remember in the 70s and 80s their was no pre-school nurseries that gap was filled by playgroups.

Do you mean no nurseries for children aged 3+ or no nurseries at all?!

@eeeeeeeeh I agree, it’s so hard to interact whilst wearing a mask!

@VonWeasel I haven’t tried the apps - are they like dating apps where people swipe left if they don’t like the look of you? I’m not sure I could take the rejection!

Has anyone else had any success with these apps? I am tempted to give them a try.

Early '70s baby - went to playschool from about age 3 (going to a 50th birthday for one of my friends I first met there in a few weeks.)

Mum was part of a baby-sitting circle which I think started through the NHR - National Housewives Register. I think it still exists with a different name. I think they all started going to it because of second wave feminism, which was st its peak round then. As we got older, that often meant staying over with whoever was doing the babysitting - I don't know what age that started at.

Mum also did some voluntary work, so met people through that - but that might have been later, because I think she had time as we were at school.

We did swimming from quite early - not far from the sea, and with open water near the farm. I don't remember my first swimming lessons, do that must have been from around age 5, maybe a bit younger. Then Brownies from about age 8.

But I also have early memories of being sat in the playpen while mum did housework. She certainly wasn't entertaining us or with people all the time.

I went to a church run playgroup in the seventies. I then went to play school before I started school. My mother stayed and chatted with the mums for the playgroup. She left me for the morning or afternoon for the play school.

When I was older we went swimming with a parent rather than having swimming lessons. We had Brownies, Guides, Cubs, Scouts, music lessons, special dance classes in the summer holidays, ballet and tap lessons. We attended a few hobby clubs. We had martial arts classes.

OP I think most of the drop in playgroup type places have not reopened. They haven’t round by me anyway. They also tend to close during school holidays anyway, I think because they are often run by mums with school age kids.

Remember in the 70s and 80s their was no pre-school nurseries that gap was filled by playgroups.

Do you mean no nurseries for children aged 3+ or no nurseries at all?!

There was no council run preschool. Nurseries weren't as common as now I don't even remember there being one in my town. Now there is about 5 to choose from. They were all private and no subsidies so they were £££. Both parents would have needed really good jobs to make it worthwhile especially if they had more than one child.

Baby and toddler groups are for the benefit of the mums not the babies. If they're not for you don't feel pressure to be there.

In the 70s we had playgroups from about age 3, run by volunteer mums, but all the mums didn't stay every time.

I lived in a village cul de sac from age 1 to 5 and we all just played out. I suppose we were being watched, but it was from a distance, parents weren't out with us.

@summertime232 I have peanut but I've not had much luck with it. A lot of people seem to rave about it though. I find most 1-1 conversations on there fizzle out. I've joined some Facebook groups set up from there to organise meet ups but nobody seems to bother writing on the groups. One of my friends uses it and has had a couple of 'mummy dates' from it though so maybe I'm not trying hard enough with it. I think I'd rather meet other mums in a more natural setting though