Did children of the 70s/80s go to baby groups?

[summertime232]

It feels like there’s so much pressure these days to entertain your kids, taking them to baby groups and classes and putting on lots of fun, stimulating and educational activities, followed by the obligatory photos on social media.

Has it always been like this for mums or were babies in the “old” days (by which I’m talking 1970s, 80s or even 90s, so not that long ago!) left to their own devices more?

I’m just curious because I feel pressurised to be filling my toddler’s days with wonderful experiences and know I’m falling short.

My DC were born in the 90s.
Playgroup once a week in the village hall was it. A token cost for mum and child. That's all mine did until starting school at 5.

@summertime232

Perhaps I’m on a bit of a downer, but back then generally sounded like simpler times!

You mention seeing all this stuff on social media - this is genuine advice, not flippant: delete Instagram. I don't have it and find it really hard to relate to the pressure that so many other mums I know, like you, feel there is. I honestly don't see it.

We had soft play come to our village hall playgroup in the mid 1980's.

You had to be 6 to start swimming lessons!

I paid a lot of money upfront to take my 4 month old to swimming classes - they offered an underwater photo with your baby as part of the course. DC screamed the entire way through and I never went back. I felt so awful afterwards.

Yes but not the expensive sensory, massage type things. Mother and baby play and chat in a hall over a cup of tea. And Sunday school.

DD1 born in the mid eighties. We had tumble tots, music and movement and mother and toddler groups. There was something going on most days and most of it only cost a couple of pounds.

Not baby groups.

But went to the playgroup in the village hall. Kids only. Parents has a break.

Kids did painting and listened to nursery rhymes on a record player. It was huge fun.

I def never went to any as my mum was back to work after 6 weeks. Shockingly, in 1978 maternity leave for teachers was “12 weeks before and 6 weeks after”.

Luckily for me I was ably looked after by my grandmother. I spent lots of time with cousins but def no baby/toddler groups!

Baby swim lessons certainly happened in the 1970’s. I was a few weeks old when DM took me to the grim pool in the catholic school for lessons. (No swim nappies in those days).

@Hardbackwriter I think that is good advice. The reason I haven’t deleted it is because there is a lot of helpful stuff on there, but it does feel like a catch 22 - you see all these posts that make you feel inadequate (not to mention the constant stream of ads for baby clothes and other gear), then spend yet more time on there looking at other accounts to make yourself feel better!

I used to take my daughter to a baby group when she was a baby in the eighties, no pressure back then from yummy mummy's on social media as SM didn't exist 😁
I was a single parent so keen to interact with other mums and babies.
Health visitor introduced me to another group where you were taken under the wing of more experienced mums & I went with my sponsor to a children's Christmas party, at the end the organiser said "all single parents please line up" they basically lined us up against a wall and handed us a box of family circle biscuits, whilst we had to look suitably grateful, absolutely mortifying, 35 years later and I'm sat cringing at the memory 😳

I was a few weeks old when DM took me to the grim pool in the catholic school for lessons. (No swim nappies in those days).

@Dizzy1234 good lord, that is awful!

Playgroup at 3. Then primary and high school with the same people.

When I wason my mat leaves, 30 years later, I went to a very similar group in the town I live in now. I think it may depend on the part of the country you live in. Def no baby yoga round here!

@ Frazzled2207

That was the ML I had both times . I managed to work a bit closer to my due date but still back at work when babies were 3/4 months old .
DD had 11 months with DGS and will be off until DGD is 13 months .

Born in 1970.

My mum took me to baby groups.

I still remember some of the songs and the rocking horse!

I remember going to "playschool" which was like pre school at age 4 (parents just dropped us off at the village hall for the morning but didn't stay with us. There were mum and toddler groups in the 80's as I remember my mum taking my siblings. If I ever have cause to enter the village hall I went to for playschool, it still smells the same after nearly 50 years and it makes the memories come flooding back!

I was born in 1966 and I remember going to an afternoon toddler group it was at a lady’s house , I don’t remember whether my mum stayed or left me , I assume she stayed as I was never very good at being left anywhere , although my sister came as well ( year older) so maybe . I remember walking home through the fields in our wellies .

Mum took me to mother and baby groups, I went to a playgroup a couple of mornings a week from when I was about 3 I think. We played, had a story and a biscuit with orange squash at the end.

I did go to story and craft mornings at the library on a saturday. They would read us a book then we would make something to do with the book. I really loved that.

@CatAlice

My DC were born in the 90s. Playgroup once a week in the village hall was it. A token cost for mum and child. That's all mine did until starting school at 5.

Late eighties early nineties for me. Just playgroup and mums didn't have to stay, thank goodness. That would have scared me stiff.

@summertime232

This sounds lovely:

Playgroups in church halls in the 80s. Orange squash in coloured beakers and Nice biscuits. The mums had tea or coffee from urns served in green cups and saucers. You would have just turned up and it would have been very cheap to attend.

As does this:

I was born in the 70s, I went to playgroup 2 mornings per week. It had things like a sandpit and a paddling pool and you just played with whatever you wanted. It was run by the mums. Sometimes mums would go away and do shopping etc and pick you up at the end and sometimes they would stay and drink coffee with the others. The mums who stayed and drunk coffee kept an eye on all the kids playing. All quite laid back really!

I’m struggling to find anything like that in my area - everything seems to be geared towards signing up to a load of classes at once and suchlike. I’m sure it’s partly due to Covid, but I wish there was something more laid back like the experiences described above.

Things like this still run in a lot of church halls. Perhaps check with some local churches?

Perhaps check with some local churches?

I will do, thank you!

Yes went to baby groups but there was also more community support. People tended to have babies younger and women were less likely to go back to work so there was more likely to be women in your local area/street/neighbourhood who you'd know and visit for coffee etc. Nowadays women are more at risk of being quite isolated so baby groups fill that void.

I never felt pressured into talking mine to anything tbh. It's optional. Why do you feel pressure to do things?

Also, as a FTM I don’t understand - why do a lot of these things seem to be term time only?